To expect my local coffee shop to let me in with a pram?

(237 Posts)
Shockingundercrackers Fri 30-Aug-13 12:01:43

Will try to keep this brief. My local coffee shop owner has just refused me entry with a pram (not a massive silver cross call the midwife one, just a bugaboo style thing). He said he was busy (he wasn't, and although its a small place there were only two other customers inside) and that buggies had to be parked outside. I can see the logic of this, but a pram with a 5 week old sleeping baby in it isn't really a buggy is it? Or is it?

I should have remonstrated with the grumpy fecker of course, but it had taken me so long to get said infant out of the house and I was so hungry and tired I thought I might embarrass myself and start blubbing. I beat a hasty retreat.

I've been fuming ever since of course. AIBU?

arethereanyleftatall Fri 30-Aug-13 12:41:59

Yabu . His cafe, his rules

AdmiralData Fri 30-Aug-13 12:44:52

YANBU - I wont explain my opinion as it will turn into a rant that makes me look entitled >smile

EvieanneVolvic Fri 30-Aug-13 12:45:33

Admiral you're no fun grin

Shockingundercrackers Fri 30-Aug-13 12:47:10

Pretty unanimous then. For those that recommended a sling.. How do you drink a hot coffee without risking scalding the baby? Not worth it for me personally (am clumsy and not fond of lukewarm coffee which I can get for nowt at home).

Thanks for your replies, it's genuinely interesting to hear what people think. I had my first child in Amsterdam where all bars/cafes are tiny (much tinier than here) and it was considered to be no problem there. In fact, the cafe owners gave me presents for the baby in two of the places I used to go to.

Coffee was much better as well confused

justanuthermanicmumsday Fri 30-Aug-13 12:48:00

If its a small cafe up unreasonable if it ps spacious then he's an idiot. Either way take your business to someone who wants it forget him.

At least you're not in Edinburgh they don't let mums on with prams buggies I call they discrimination against people who choose to have kids. apparently you have to fold it. Yes try that with a new born in one hand or even a baby of years old impossible. Suffice to say I never use the buses.

usualsuspect Fri 30-Aug-13 12:50:33

In the olden days,folding your pram on buses was the norm. We managed.

<old glimmer>

kelda Fri 30-Aug-13 12:50:39

I would have the baby in one side of the sling and eat/drink with my hand on the other side.

I seemed to manage holding a baby, drinking coffee and mumsnetting well enough!

You won't win this one. Mothers with prams are quickly becoming the scourge of society.

Fakebook Fri 30-Aug-13 12:54:36

How do you drink a hot coffee without risking scalding the baby?

Ask for a take away cup with a lid?

A 5 week old baby doesn't move much, and unless you have a habit of dribbling your coffee everywhere, she'll be fine.

Put top of sling over baby's head, place protective left hand over head and drink with right hand. Have newspaper spread out over table to read between sips.

I really miss slings.

flipchart Fri 30-Aug-13 12:59:01

YABU and I think you are being rather ridiculous and precious to be fuming!!

And you can't manage to have a baby on your lap and have a hot drink. Good grief.

What's the problem?

sameoldIggi Fri 30-Aug-13 13:00:16

Justanuthermanicmumsday - thank god they have seen sense it Edinburgh, the pram-ban is no more

kelda Fri 30-Aug-13 13:01:53

elinorbellowed - so do I. Carrying the baby in a sling gave me such a sense of freedom. None of this hassle of fighting for space on the bus/in a restaurant.

SoupDragon Fri 30-Aug-13 13:02:01

[shrug] Move back to Amsterdam then wink

It's easy to drink and not risk the baby - just swivel your head to one side. No risk necessary.

SilverApples Fri 30-Aug-13 13:04:34

So now you have a choice to make OP. How are you going to deal with stuff like this over the next few years?
Will you protest and froth and complain about things not being fair because they are not tailored to your needs every time?
Or are you able to stand back, look at a situation dispassionately and think about what is fair to you and others? That sometimes you need to be a problem-solver yourself and thing around an issue.
YABU, space, mobility of other customers, dirt on the wheels tracking everywhere. Look for a chain cafe that copes with these better.
Practice drinking cold drinks with the baby in a sling until you are confident.

SilverApples Fri 30-Aug-13 13:06:01

When I was in Amsterdam, the sheer amount of dogshit on the streets would have been more of an issue if I'd been pushing a buggy or steering a toddler. I hope that's changed.

sameoldIggi Fri 30-Aug-13 13:06:03

Everything is harder with new baby. Have a look around for which other cages are more accommodating. He isn't meaning to upset you, just don't think about him again.
Remember being "allowed" in a cafe with ds1 but they out the pram away from my table, to be out of the road. They set it, with sleeping lo inside, in front of their steaming coffee machine! I would have preferred to just be told we weren't welcome, I think.

Greydog Fri 30-Aug-13 13:08:46

YABU

hazeyjane Fri 30-Aug-13 13:09:57

I'm afraid after witnessing a woman spill a coffee (in a take away cup) all over her baby that she was breastfeeding, I wouldn't risk coffee with baby in a sling either.

JessePinkmansBitch - I don't know what the law is wrt wheelchairs and private businesses, but I can think of a few cafes and buildings that aren't wheelchair accessible.

The ones we can't fit in, strictly speaking could accomodate us (ds is in a sn buggy) but tbh it is such a faff because they are tiny and we feel in the way, that we don't bother.

sameoldIggi Fri 30-Aug-13 13:22:28

Cafes, not cages!

Jan49 Fri 30-Aug-13 13:37:51

How do you drink a hot coffee without risking scalding the baby?

When my ds was little, if we went in a café, I didn't have a hot drink even though I'd usually drink gallons of tea. I always had a cold drink. You can have hot drinks at home. I didn't use a sling but I didn't think it was safe to have a hot drink with a small child at a table who could knock it over. I usually went in self-service cafes so I'd be carrying my drink too. It just seemed an unnecessary risk when you can have a hot drink at home.

I don't think you can really expect a café to have space for a pram or pushchair that isn't folded.

Forgetfulmog Fri 30-Aug-13 13:46:20

How do you drink a hot drink with a baby in a sling? Carefully!

Seriously though, my dd used to cluster feed for England as a newborn. I learnt to manoeuvre food (hot or cold), hot drinks & MN pretty quickly!

Obviously there are horror stories about babies being scalded with hot drinks, but hey there are always risks when you're a parent, you just need to try to be careful.

newgirl Fri 30-Aug-13 13:48:39

Aw I have sympathy for op - I remember those early weeks needing a coffee etc

There are lots of places where you can take pram - surely still sitting outside weather too? Find the places with lots space and then you can relax and enjoy yourself x

kmc1111 Fri 30-Aug-13 13:56:12

YABU. Prams are a nightmare in small cafe's, the smallest models can still easily take up more room than a table, and if they had that room to spare there would be a table there. Even in really spacious cafe's they can be a real hazard if you get a few customers at the one table surrounded by prams, or if they're placed so they block walkways, the counter etc. They make it hard for staff to safely carry food and in a small place they can completely block a table or two off meaning less customers. Does your pram have a detachable Just get a bike lock and a sling and leave the pram outside. Or if you don't want to leave the pram outside and it folds down to a size that could fit under a small table, do that.

In a small space wait staff carrying hot drinks or soup tripping over the pram or having to contort themselves to get around it, losing their balance in the process, would present a bigger danger to baby than you pouring your cup of coffee on it's head. Just get whatever your drinking put in a takeaway cup with lid, or order iced coffee or tea.

flipchart Fri 30-Aug-13 14:01:21

Do parents not do what us parents did 15 years ago?

Go past a coffee shop, stick your head in and think, Oh heck, it's a bit cramped in here ( quickly works out that people won't be able to get past you with the pram, buggy, what ever) and decide to go somewhere else bigger and more comfortable.

I've even gone back to the small place when I've not had children with me.
Never occurred to me to be fuming for ages after.

Some parents of today think everything should be geared up to suit them.
Not everything is a one size fits all you know!

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