To expect my local coffee shop to let me in with a pram?

(237 Posts)
Shockingundercrackers Fri 30-Aug-13 12:01:43

Will try to keep this brief. My local coffee shop owner has just refused me entry with a pram (not a massive silver cross call the midwife one, just a bugaboo style thing). He said he was busy (he wasn't, and although its a small place there were only two other customers inside) and that buggies had to be parked outside. I can see the logic of this, but a pram with a 5 week old sleeping baby in it isn't really a buggy is it? Or is it?

I should have remonstrated with the grumpy fecker of course, but it had taken me so long to get said infant out of the house and I was so hungry and tired I thought I might embarrass myself and start blubbing. I beat a hasty retreat.

I've been fuming ever since of course. AIBU?

ThisIsYourSong Sat 31-Aug-13 12:38:43

Who would seriously wake a sleeping 5 week old? I certainly wouldn't.

Plus it opens the cafe owner up to the risk of the even more alarming (whispers) breastfeeding shock

BeauNatt Sat 31-Aug-13 12:56:13

And still people are saying leave the pram outside! Where do you live where that would be an option? Seriously? These things are very valuable and get nicked all the time. Just what you need when out on your own with a 5 week old hmm

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 31-Aug-13 13:01:26

Buy a bike lock. If you get a maxi cosi and adapters all you need to leave outside is a chassis.

They still do those buggys where the car seat clicks onto it for fairly cheap. You wouldn't need the pram with you if you were feeding,breast or bottle.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sat 31-Aug-13 13:25:06

Actually I think it can be hard enough getting out with a 5 week old. I think if it was me I would have disappeared home again in a hormonal mess.

OP I have a bugaboo too (it's a Bee) and its not any bigger than lots of strollers out there. Go find a different cafe, one where you are welcome. Maybe try a sling? I used to have to lock my Bee outside the GP surgery and even then I worried that it would be nicked.

QisforQuestion Sat 31-Aug-13 13:25:40

Haha thisisyoursong, quite right, all sorts of minefields to navigate for unsuspecting mums and babies.

Fwiw, and ime as a grumpy old bat pedestrian, cafe goer, car driver, dog walker etc. most people act in an entitled way not just mums with prams. People rarely watch out thereby pushing other people off the pavement, swearing insults at other car drivers, letting kids run riot at the restaurant or cinema letting their dog jump on tiny toddlers, not giving way to elderly people etc. etc.

Maybe we should all try and look a bit beyond our own transient needs and capabilities because most of us will at one point or other in our lives feel vulnerable or less mobile and then someone else's generosity rather than righteousness will make all the difference.

Sorry to sound like a preaching twat, but still!

BoffinMum Sat 31-Aug-13 14:56:37

This is the flip side of the feminist movement, the expectation that every pregnant woman and new mother will be able to take it all in her stride without batting an eyelid, otherwise she is somehow inadequate, or 'not trying hard enough' or 'not organised enough'. The argument that pregnancy and the postpartum period do not constitute an 'exalted state'. It's linked to leaving women alone without partners behind curtains on a shared ward moaning in distress in early labour (like I saw at Addenbrookes), leaving women who have had sections un-nursed and covered in blood, leaving women wide eyed without sleep to cope a long way away from their extended families, and tutting if women are finding it a struggle to cope on top of all the hormonal changes and so on. Show a bit of compassion, you rotten lot. It may be normal but it is certainly not easy, and if you have found it easy, then you were bloody lucky.

Mouseface Sat 31-Aug-13 14:59:22

DS uses a 'Snazzi' wheelchair which weighs 25kg but it's rather slim, tall but slim.

I can't fold or lift it (I'm disabled too) so taking him to a cafe like that would be a no go for us, plus I wouldn't want to leave it outside, even locked up because it was 'made' for him and on prescription IYSWIM? It's not ours to replace.

Now you know how this cafe works, use a sling, or find a way to have a nice, hot coffee safely, and add in a cake, take a friend so they can hold baby for you or find somewhere else.

It sounds as though you just wanted to sit down whilst baby was finally asleep, have some food and a hot drink, five minutes peace...... we've all been there.

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 31-Aug-13 15:15:05

No one said the man was rude to the OP, just that he refused entry which he has every right to do. Yes, it's annoying but not discriminatory!

SilverApples Sat 31-Aug-13 15:17:50

Wow Boffin, is that the flipside of feminism? I thought inadequate care on labour and maternity wards was the result of lack of funds, understaffing and excessive paperwork.
But it's really that nurses and their bosses think women should STFU and be tough?

BoffinMum Sat 31-Aug-13 15:21:28

In the cases I saw the mws couldn't be arsed. They lacked compassion (with one exception). They were offhand with the women and told them off for being needy. I was shock

BoffinMum Sat 31-Aug-13 15:23:26

I appreciate they may have got that way because of overwork, btw, but I think it is linked to an expectation women can and should always 'man up'. The sort of attitude that expects pg women to stand on trains and so on.

QisforQuestion Sat 31-Aug-13 17:31:35

Boffin, I so very much agree with your posts on this thread! Thank you for describing it so well [flower].

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