My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Would you let your 10 year old be on his own all day?

32 replies

VioletStar · 30/08/2013 11:23

DS got a phone call inviting him and another friend (A) to play with friend (B). I presumed it was at his house/ cycling around thereabouts so despite being nervous said ok for a couple of hours.
45 mins later he's back with A and says B is on his way too. Whilst that's ok, I have texted B's mum to make sure it was ok that all 3 were descending on her at such short notice. She texted back saying she was fine with it. (spoken with A's dad too)
When they arrived I discover that B's mum is actually at work and he is on his own all day! (A's Dad is home and wants A back for lunch).
This is my last but one day before I am back at work and wanted to spend it with my kids, but happy if they want to play with their mates. I said I wouldn't have A all day because of this (A's mum is very good friend) and now I might have B because there is no way I could chuck out what is a very lonely little boy despite his bravado at being old enough to be 'independent'.
Hope this makes sense. AIBU in thinking his mum should have arranged childcare for her son cos at their age (just going into year 6) kids shouldn't be left on their own all day?

OP posts:
Report
frazmum · 30/08/2013 11:25

No. YANBU. Too young. While child may be responsible what if there was an emergency?

Report
Tortoise · 30/08/2013 11:28

No, I definitely wouldn't leave my 10 year old alone all day.

Report
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 11:29

No way! I have a 9 year old who cant bear it if I nip to the shop up the road...10 is way too young. Kids can get up to all kinds and with no adult, if he had any bother, he'd be in a bad situation.

Report
persimmon · 30/08/2013 11:31

Isn't it illegal?

Report
VioletStar · 30/08/2013 11:33

I wondered if it was legal. I also wonder if there are instructions for him to go somewhere if he was scared or stuff but how do I ask without sounding judgy to him?

OP posts:
Report
TylerHopkins · 30/08/2013 11:33

I think a mature 10 year old could be left for a couple of hours but certainly not all day. And if the child is left for a couple of hours then a neighbour or friend close by should be on standby in case of an emergency.

Report
TylerHopkins · 30/08/2013 11:35

The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk. NSPCC

Report
thebody · 30/08/2013 11:35

there is no a actual minimum age to leave a child, pretty sure that's correct anyway as that's what we were told at last safeguarding course. daft I know.

of course 10 is too young to leave all day.

Report
trashcanjunkie · 30/08/2013 11:53

I have left mine for a couple of hours on one occassion. They are twins aged 8.5. They were fine. Usually if necessary I leave them for half an hour or forty five mins about once a week. My work sometimes involves collecting or dropping off animals in the early evening and they don't always fancy coming along, and arranging childcare around that is difficult. I can't imagine leaving them for more than that until they are much older, say 15 or so.

Report
Taz1212 · 30/08/2013 12:00

I wouldn't have left DS all day when he was 10. He would have been fine (really would have loved it) but would have spent the entire time playing Playstation games! He's 11 now and has quite a bit of freedom outdoors and I'll leave him at home for up to a couple of hours. When he's home alone he's not allowed to answer the phone or door and no friends are allowed over! I still wouldn't leave him for a whole day.

Report
CinnabarRed · 30/08/2013 12:13

Are you sure that B doesn't have older siblings who are also at home?

Report
NoComet · 30/08/2013 12:22

I'd leave my 15y DD1 all day if I had to, but not her 12y sister.

DD1 likes her own company, can fix lunch and a cup of tea and bake a cake or go for a walk if she's bored.

DD2 needs company, and isn't yet as practical as DD1. Also she relieves being bored by practicing more and more elaborate flips on the trampoline, not something I'm happy for her to do with no one here.

She's fine to let herself in after school, but more than a couple of hours, no.

Report
SoupDragon · 30/08/2013 12:24

No, I wouldn't. Whilst they would be fine under normal circumstances, they would not be able to deal with an emergency or anything out of the ordinary.

Report
HandMini · 30/08/2013 12:30

Yes, 10 is too young to leave for a whole day while you work. Totally out of order of Bs parents. Wouldn't be surprised if they encouraged B to call friends knowing that it means concerned and present parents will be guilted into acting as ad hoc childcare.

Report
HandMini · 30/08/2013 12:31

And notwithstanding the safety thing it's boring and lonely. As a PP said, older children and adults can entertain themselves. Small children can't for a whole day.

Report
cory · 30/08/2013 12:33

I left my 12yo alone all day, but built up gradually from a few hours at 10.

Report
Glitterandglue · 30/08/2013 12:34

I wouldn't be worried so much about the safety aspect (at 10 I was alone at home for an hour before school, took myself there then was alone for two hours afterwards) if he is a relatively mature kid, but more about the boredom aspect. A 10 year old is likely to find it hard to be in his own company all day and it can end up leading to situations like this where he may end up unintentionally imposing himself on other people (without meaning to) where if there was an adult around in charge of him they'd be there to explain that people may not want him and could redirect him to do something else.

You can always give him a couple of hours but tell the kids it's only until eg 3pm, and then you want to spend time with your kids alone. That's reasonable and it's given him some hours of socialisation to break up the day.

Report
KristinaM · 30/08/2013 12:37

No, I wouldn't even leave my 13 yo alone all day, she wouldn't like it. Although she will stay at home for a couple of hours on her own but she gets lonely .

I woulndt leave my 9yp at home alone at all, even for half an hour. I couldn't trust him. And we live in a very safe area .

Report
complexnumber · 30/08/2013 12:45

We have left our 12yo alone for a few hours, not sure about a 10yo.

I know I was allowed to roam free for the whole day on my bike as a child under 10. My mum would have no idea where I was until I got home and told her. (But that was in the 60's, so not that helpful)

Report
VioletStar · 30/08/2013 13:07

Glad it's not just me. To answer CinnabarRed no he doesn't have older siblings - just a younger toddler brother (I have no idea who is looking after him).
Should I say anything to his mum? He's an alright kid but a bit naughty according to my DS and friend A (always good in front of me though - I'm a teacher and he seems to currently respect that authority). He also seemed surprised that they aren't back to school early next week. He says his mum thought it was Tuesday and will be surprised its Thursday. I feel sorry for him.
Just given them all lunch and said it's ok until 2.30. A's Dad let him stay for lunch here.

OP posts:
Report
Hulababy · 30/08/2013 13:11

I wouldn't leave DD, 11y, home alone all day. I have left her for short periods of less than an hour, but for now this is enough for me - and her. DD isn't overly keen on being home alone for too long, which is fine. I'd rather try and arrange for her to visit a friend or stay with grandparents.

Report
expatinscotland · 30/08/2013 17:29

No.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Boaty · 30/08/2013 19:06

Years ago we ran a scout troop, we had one ten yr old turn up on our doorstep, he had been left alone and locked out of the house, he had been told by his mum that if he got bored or frightened to come to ours, we would look after him!
He had to walk four miles to get to ours along country roads, we then couldn't get hold of his mother (before most people having mobiles), he turned up everyday for 2 weeks despite repeated calls! It only stopped when we threatened to call SS.
It is too young but I have noticed a lot of 'play' schemes are for young children and don't cater for children from above primary age.

Report
ShakeAndVac · 30/08/2013 20:36

I've a 10 year old, and no way.

Report
thegreylady · 30/08/2013 21:15

No my 10 year old grandson couldn't be left alone all day without becoming very unhappy and lonely.Dgd is a few months older and tells me she would 'hate it'.Both have older siblings and have never been left alone for more than 20 minutes.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.