ÁIBU to think that some men have a problem with post baby weight

(56 Posts)
PigOnStilts Thu 29-Aug-13 19:43:07

I gave birth five months ago. To an eleven pounder. Hes one Fat Baby and Im proud that I producued that on angel delight and the odd apple.
Still 12 stone (size 14 for me)..feel really down about it, trying not to give a shit, but I have three stone to lose so not too happy right now.

In the past three weeks I´ve had:
FIL - making some radio 4 hoho gag about my childbreeding hips
DH telling me "youve had enough" when I reached for the maltesers
today, my dad, who is admittedly a judgemental bawbag anyway, scoffing at my figure and telling me to order a diet coke rather than a real coke - and i cant remember the last time I drank the stuff it seemed extra cruel. Then he referred to my "lovely figure" in a really sarcastic way.

Obvs in each situation ive retorted "Ive just had your child/given you two grandchildren" and not taken it lying down.

I should keep my husband out of this as he only made that one comment....ever....hes v supportive and sensitive generally.
BUT
Wheres the fecking respect from the other two old farts and HOW dare FIL or FF (fecking father) critique my size as if Im some filly theyre eyeing up in the street????!

PenelopeChipShop Thu 29-Aug-13 19:50:56

OmG that's awful. I can't imagine why they think its ok to at those things, at any point but let alone when you're still in the immediate postnatal period. You're going to have to be strong and ignore, don't let it get you down. Good on you for making those comments back. What did they say to your replies btw?

PenelopeChipShop Thu 29-Aug-13 19:51:50

Ok to say those things I mean! iPhone fail.

DawnOfTheDee Thu 29-Aug-13 19:55:44

I'm assuming these men are Adonis-like gods rippling with muscles and not a trace of fat anywhere...? hmmm?

Seriously that is not ok. Well done for sticking up for yourself - you shouldn't have to though....it's totally not on.

LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi Thu 29-Aug-13 19:57:47

I thought this thread was going to be about new dads scoffing crap through the newborn phase.

Tell them to fuck off, you sound fine (yes, I know you can't really ...).

But could you get your DH to tell his dad seriously that his comments are upsetting you?

Grumpywino Thu 29-Aug-13 19:57:48

I have heard men I work with talk this way about their wives/girlfriends, I really don't think the media obsession with emaciated celebrities who lose baby weight seemingly overnight helps.

Guntie Thu 29-Aug-13 20:02:14

Sigh. I'm the same boat as you and feel the same way.

memphis83 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:02:19

Its sad that some people do think like that, my Dad being one of them, my Mum had 3 children with my Dad, she was 7 stone before each pregnancy and a max of 9 stone full term, he gave her 6 weeks each time to lose all of the weight with each child.

He has since re married and his wife is a lot younger but has put on more weight as time has gone on, he hates it but is too old to stamp his feet and make demands so after I had ds he tried to tell me I had to lose weight or he wouldn't blame dp if he cheated on me! shock I told him my weight was none of his business it a not so polite way and he hasn't dared say anything again!

PigOnStilts Thu 29-Aug-13 20:04:06

My dads such a pig he ate and drank his way into type two diabetes, he's about four stone overweight and he's an alcoholic.

The other old duffer is no great shakes either although I'm generally v fond of him.

They both have that wretched 1960s humour totally hoho gags all the way. I'd hate them but I'm busy scoffing the mince I'm making for dinner....I don't think size 14 is bad really, I just don't carry it well, big bingos big ass ex and they have really annoyed me

PigOnStilts Thu 29-Aug-13 20:05:37

Oh and three weeks after my bro was born my mum was criticised for being fat.....obvy not married any more! I just think some en of that generation only see their females in their lives in one light: sex kitten. Or "crumpet" as they'd say.

Are they both slim and fit and without big bellies?

Stupid people.

Nora2012 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:06:18

That's completely not on! I don't think anyone can be more conscious of your post-pregnancy body that you, at least that's how I feel. And there's a lot more going on that you need to dedicate your time to than worrying about workouts! They sound dreadful and I'm sorry you've had to put up with their crap. Well done standing up for yourself though.

So in that case just look them up and down and ask them what their excuse is? Atleast your weight is temporary from being pregnant.

BabsAndTheRu Thu 29-Aug-13 20:14:52

My brother came out with a cracker 3 weeks after I had had DC3. He said you look like there's still one in there. My answer - I've just had a baby what's your excuse ( you fat bastard). Never said the last wee bit but thought it. He apologised for being a dick.

BabsAndTheRu Thu 29-Aug-13 20:15:53

Major Xpost with overmydeadbody

MamaBear17 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:22:48

I think everyone has a comment to make on baby weight. My dd had colic and screamed all day, it was horrendous. I really struggled and ended up losing a shed load of weight because I spent every day walking the floor with a baby who cried every time I sat down. After a week of not eating (due to not being able to put her down long enough to even make a sandwich) my husband started making me a packed lunch so that I could stay home and look after my baby! I looked haggard, I felt like crap and I spent most of my time crying. However, when anyone came to see me the first thing they would say is how 'lucky' I was to have 'snapped back' so quickly or call me a 'lucky, skinny bitch'. Honestly, I got so pissed off because I didnt give a flying fuck about my weight, I just wanted to be able to enjoy my baby but I couldn't because she just cried and I was so tired. Size 14 is not big, and you should tell them all to get stuffed if they make a comment again. It is mean, superficial and petty!

sameoldIggi Thu 29-Aug-13 20:23:27

Why are they even looking at your figure? How unpleasant.

Fairylea Thu 29-Aug-13 20:28:29

Why are people so rude?!

Of course your body is going to change having had a baby. Putting on weight is extremely normal. Yes some people work very hard to lose it again but not everyone either wants to or has the time or energy to, especially with a demanding new baby.

They are being horribly insensitive.

I was a size 8 at 5ft 7 before I had my dc and now ten years later I am a size 14-16 and weigh 12 stone. I eat as healthily as I can, but I'm not prepared to give up the cake or occasional treat to get myself into a pair of size 8 jeans.

Luckily dh loves me whatever way I am and has been nothing but supportive however I look.

I feel really sorry for you.

SoniaGluck Thu 29-Aug-13 20:30:59

he gave her 6 weeks each time to lose all of the weight with each child.

shock Dear God.

Asheth Thu 29-Aug-13 20:34:49

Yabu to think it's just men! My mil told me i was fat a week after ds2 was born!

HumphreyCobbler Thu 29-Aug-13 20:37:25

I know Sonia, that shocked me too

memphis83 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:41:25

Yes he did, sadly she stayed with him for 30 years and the weight fell of her as soon as she gave birth anyway. His threat was he would go elsewhere for affection if she didn't (he was anyway)
It is a great satisfaction to me that my mum is now sucessful and happy and my dad resembles a ballbag grin

SoniaGluck Thu 29-Aug-13 20:44:10

Humphrey Made me think of that French knobber man who is married to Samantha Brick. Didn't he say that he would divorce her if she put weight on?

blueberries86 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:44:37

It's the women in my life. My mother told me today that she's noticed I have inherited her wobbly tummy since I gave birth. On the other hand partner says he loves me as I am!

So depressing.

You sound like the only one with your priorities straight! Next time ask them if they'd have preferred you didn't have a baby at all to protect your precious fucking waistline from temporarily assaulting their eyes. Or sarcastically offer to enter into solitary isolation with the baby for the first few months of its life so they don't have to look at you.

1960s humour is vile, you're so right.

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