My colleague apparently has never done a poo or even farted while at work.

(131 Posts)
Babybunny88 Wed 28-Aug-13 23:53:54

AIBU to think she's either lying or has had a really sore tummy for the past 8 years? confused

DownstairsMixUp Thu 29-Aug-13 08:41:41

I don't poo at work but then i only poo every other day so i rarely need to. Pretty sure plenty of others do though the state the bowl is left in sometimes. hmm

MrsDavidBowie Thu 29-Aug-13 08:53:01

None of my children have ever done a poo at school, and they are 17 and 14.

HoobleDooble Thu 29-Aug-13 08:58:36

I only work 3 hour mornings, so there's no excuse but I have pooed at work on a couple of occasions. I do try to time it with my visit to the bank, and use the public loos in the nearby precinct.

I also go to the toilet to trump as I'm in an office with only one other person so, unless I fall lucky and we have a client waiting, it's quite obvious who did it. Unfortunately a real raspberry escaped as I was passing my bosses office a couple of weeks ago, she was dictating at the time and I still wonder if her secretary actually typed "Thrrrrrrrrrump!" halfway through that letter.

VivaLeBeaver Thu 29-Aug-13 09:03:30

I've never had a poo at work. Not in 20 years.

Only poo at home and john Lewis.

Every time I go to JL within five minutes I need a poo and do a massive one which blocks the loo. Every time!

Buddhagirl Thu 29-Aug-13 09:18:37

What? How do you control a fart so it comes out silently?? This is advanced flatulence technique!

forevergreek Thu 29-Aug-13 09:26:25

Of course you can reduce farts. If you eat say a sandwich and piece of fruit after, the fruit will be digested first but be blocked by the heavier sandwich, hence people fart. If you ate the same thing but fruit first then sandwich they would go through your system in order of what digests first, leaving no trapped gases

LittleBearPad Thu 29-Aug-13 09:32:55

Why wouldn't you go if you needed to? I don't get it.

Fine if your body clocks means you only ever poo at 8am like Sheldon but that can't be the norm.

limitedperiodonly Thu 29-Aug-13 09:43:58

A friend never used to poo at work. She once drove home about five miles away when she unexpectedly got the urge. I can't understand how she thought shitting herself in the car would have been better.

Her mother had taught her to hold it in and by the time we met she was 23 and physically couldn't poo anywhere but home without days of trying.

We went on holiday and for a week we couldn't move from the hotel pool because she couldn't face using toilets at the beach. It wasn't a cleanliness thing.

One day she quietly went off and came back a good hour later and announced that she'd 'been' like a toddler. I was pleased for her but not so pleased when I realised she'd taken my book into the loo with her.

Growing up her mother used to insist that shit went in the downstairs loo only. If people went to the other loo she would interrogate them in front of everyone else if she thought they'd a sneaky shit.

No wonder my friend had issues grin She also had horrendous piles.

Weirdly she had no embarrassment about telling us very funny and humiliating stories about what she called her bottom problems.

limitedperiodonly Thu 29-Aug-13 09:45:34

What happens to the queue if you eat banana sandwiches forevergreek? Or jam ones?

EverybodysGoneSurfing Thu 29-Aug-13 09:46:17

Viva, I have that (the needing to go, not the giant thing!)in libraries and bookshops. Apparently it's a real phenomenon...

VivaLeBeaver Thu 29-Aug-13 09:48:30

Its bizarre isn't it, I must feel at home in john Lewis!

I've never needed a poo at work, if I did then I'd go.

thebody Thu 29-Aug-13 09:50:21

your boss needs to find you all more work!😃😃

MissBracegirdle Thu 29-Aug-13 09:53:22

I only poo at 8am grin
Seriously, I am very regular.
If I miss a day it just carries over.

Sometimes I also have a poo in the evening. I really like those days. A two-poo day. I tell dh and he approves.

Anyway, no need to involve work or John Lewis!

iloveweetos Thu 29-Aug-13 09:53:33

lol
If ive needed to poo i do. but farting i dont really do during the day. DP said that i fart alot at night lol

theres a lady at work who always acts grossed out with BO, poo and toilets etc, but every now and again the toilets smell of her perfume that she sprays everywhere. Wonder what shes been doing...lol

AndHarry Thu 29-Aug-13 10:03:28

When I was pg I needed to poo every day at 1pm. No help for it I'm afraid. That wasn't nearly as bad as the male cleaner who used to wee all over the seat in the women's loos hmm Weirdo. He got sacked in the end.

DryCounty79 Thu 29-Aug-13 10:13:44

I have had to poo at work on several occasions, as I can't hold it for long. But I try to go when no-one else is in the toilets, and I always clean up after if there is any evidence left. Can't do much about the smell unfortunately, but I'm not the only pooer so I think others are pretty understanding.

I never fart in public, ever. I hold it in. I've been doing that for years, so am pretty good at it.

angelos02 Thu 29-Aug-13 10:28:39

I've never understood the not pooing at work thing. Some people are so uptight. I'd rather have a shit on work time than my own.

I do not fart or poo at work. EVER.I also tell people this. I don't know why but I have a real issue with this. I also don't fart ever where there is anyone around -including DH(apart from one occasion when I was drunk).
I have also worked in a place for eight years. I also work with children.
Do I know you OP????

MyNameIsSuz Thu 29-Aug-13 10:45:23

I don't ever go at work, but I genuinely don't ever need to, I'm a once a day girl and it's always very first thing in the morning. Maybe your colleague's the same?

facedontfit Thu 29-Aug-13 10:45:28

If you are eating correctly and pooing regularly there is no reason to ever fart

What a boring life that would be. smile Farting is one of the few free pleasures left in life!

angelos02 Thu 29-Aug-13 10:47:22

But why is it an issue? Do you go for a pee at work? I really don't see the difference.

I have no idea why it is an issue (searches memory for some long forgotten incident). I have no issues with going for a wee, in fact I announce said fact often.

squoosh Thu 29-Aug-13 10:52:58

Wow, some people are so uptight. I'm not surprised they don't poo at work, their shit is probably impacted straight to diamonds.

mrspremise Thu 29-Aug-13 10:54:24

T. M. I. What other sort of conversations do you have when you're 'working'? Yes, it's a perfectly natural bodily function, yada yada, but REALLY?! confused

Pennyacrossthehall Thu 29-Aug-13 10:57:52

I am utterly baffled why anyone would be so uptight about pooing at work.

a) Don't be so prissy, you're all adults now.

b) What could be better than being paid to sh*t (to quote an old friend)?

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