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My colleague apparently has never done a poo or even farted while at work.

(131 Posts)
Babybunny88 Wed 28-Aug-13 23:53:54

AIBU to think she's either lying or has had a really sore tummy for the past 8 years? confused

If you fart at work, please remember to do so near at least two other people. Let it drift out before moving away or it will follow you.

ScornedWoman Thu 29-Aug-13 00:56:12

I wouldn't just f* at my desk; if I really had to, I'd go somewhere deserted, like the stairwell or the prayer room or the toilets.

silkboots Thu 29-Aug-13 01:02:16

To get rid of the smell from a heavy duty turd is to light a match afterwards it works a treat. More tea vicar ?

I always, always avoided doing this if I possibly could.

Unfortunately, early on in pregnancy I didn't have much choice. One of the only times I did, a member of staff came into the toilets to tell me there was an important call for me. No-one else in the other cubicles. I may have well written "I WAS POOING" on my forehead when I came back into the office.

As I was the manager, it did slightly cross my mind to sack her

shakeandvac Thu 29-Aug-13 01:24:23

She's lying! She needs to fart every now and again. She'll blow up.

maddy68 Thu 29-Aug-13 01:27:47

I honestly have never done a poo at work. I think I am a bit phobic about toilets. I can only go on my own toilet, my mums and my best friends.
I get really I'll on holiday as I genuinely can't go!

MrsKoala Thu 29-Aug-13 01:34:27

I would never have farted at my desk in my old job - open plan office with everyone sitting very close. It was so hard when i was pregnant. I would have to get up and walk to the loo while clenching my arse tight. I am a quick, non splashy and quite non stinky pooer, so i would time it and be in and out quicker than a wee would have taken.

Chattymummyhere Thu 29-Aug-13 01:59:11

Only poop in my house and farts are reserved for between 7am-9am unless I'm on my period then I will go somewhere far away... Also no poops at home between 6pm-11pm as dh is home and awake, unless I'm ill but then I only poop about once every 3/4 days

EBearhug Thu 29-Aug-13 02:08:30

Surely people at least try to control a fart so it doesn't burst out noisily in the middle of the office?

Because you know it would be at that moment thst all the clicky keyboards and chinking coffee mugs and annoying ring tones and people on the phone and chatting - it would be at the moment you decide to risk a noisy fart that it all goes silent.

digerd Thu 29-Aug-13 07:08:51

Well, now I am an 'old fart', I remember I never did either when I was working and younger, despite eating loads of currysgrin.

Now I am retired it seems a permanent whirlwind of turbulance going on in my guts - but has no smell. My bathroom too is stink free. smile

forevergreek Thu 29-Aug-13 07:29:40

Of course. You only fart if your body has foods which have rotted in stomach and give of gas. If you are eating correctly and pooing regularly there is no reason to ever fart

Beaverfeaver Thu 29-Aug-13 08:00:24

I have only pooed at work once when I was quite ill.

Otherwise I alsways poo at home

BlackholesAndRevelations Thu 29-Aug-13 08:01:23

forwvergreek that can't possibly he true. Vegetarians fart loads and they eat healthy diets of veg and pulses wink

Poo at work? No way. Fart- yes of course, silently.

livinginwonderland Thu 29-Aug-13 08:17:11

I only poo at work when it's an 8 or 10 hour shift. Otherwise, I normally go before I leave and then when I get home. tmi

Rufus20 Thu 29-Aug-13 08:19:42

Work is about the only place I do poo

LimitedEditionLady Thu 29-Aug-13 08:26:15

Tbh ive never pooed at work,just how my body clock is i guess!

FriskyHenderson Thu 29-Aug-13 08:27:34

I used to work with someone famed for going to 'have a word' with someone, letting off a pungent silent fart and then walking away.

I have farted in an empty lift at work and then realised there is CCTV (does it have sound?) Over the years I must have pooed at work, I might have gone to another floor (which in itself is a give away).

I used to live with someone who could only poo in one toilet at home and it was so restrictive.

scarletforya Thu 29-Aug-13 08:28:51

I'll never understand this! Who cares if someone poos! Everyone poos. What's with the poo shame?

I can't bear the idea of holding a poo in my body when it's ready to come out. The thought of it stewing in there is revolting! envy boak!

DuelingFanjo Thu 29-Aug-13 08:30:21

I poo at work, most days. If you have to go then you have to go. Guess what? Shit smells. All these prissy people who refuse to poo at work and complain when the communal toilets smell really annoy me. Most of all I hate it when people spray perfume around like a maniac in the loos. Urgghh.

CharlotteBr0nteSaurus Thu 29-Aug-13 08:31:36

i will happily poo at work

anyone who has read my contribution to the Piles thread will understand my keenness to avoid impaction

the non-pooers are doing themselves no favours

magimedi Thu 29-Aug-13 08:34:22

When I have to go I go. It's a normal function. No wonder there are so many people with bowel problems & that the sale of laxatives is so high.

You would think we were living in Victorian times with all this embarrassment about bodily functions.

MrsWolowitz Thu 29-Aug-13 08:35:04

If I need a poo a dim at work then ill poo at work.

Why wouldn't I?

MrsWolowitz Thu 29-Aug-13 08:35:49

And I'm, not a dim hmm

madasa Thu 29-Aug-13 08:37:24

<<<<longs for a job where there is time to poo let alone discuss it....sigh<<<

whois Thu 29-Aug-13 08:37:52

Why is there poo shame? As long as you leave the loo clean what's the problem? I pop at work. Not intentionally but if I need to go when I'm at work I go!

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