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To beg for a c-section?

(34 Posts)
Kyrptonite Wed 28-Aug-13 15:33:26

Background: DS born after 2 hours of labour and DD 40 minutes after getting to hospital.

Since then I've had some incontinence issues that this pg have made a lot worse. Several growth scans have also shown that DC3 is currently at least 6.5lbs with 2.5 weeks to go.

DS was 5lb 4oz and DD 7lb 2. I'm cacking it that this baby is going to be huge and fully ruin my pelvic floor. I'm leaking every time I move and had to go to labour ward last night to see if it was wee or waters. To my shame it was wee blush.

I'm terrified that my body won't recover from DC3. I have a scan tomorrow followed by consultant and I'm really trying to work up the courage to ask about a c section.

I know its huge surgery, its not something I'm thinking about lightly but I'm terrified. I also don't get any labour signs until I'm in immense pain and have quick labours so I'm also worrying about giving birth in a lay By or something going horribly wrong.

Will the consultant take me seriously? I asked a midwife at the start of the pg and she basically said well have a home birth then. I really don't want a home birth. Both DCs had placenta delivery issues and i lost a lot of blood and had to stay in overnight. 3 night with DS as he had to have antibiotics due to waters going early and me not realising.

Fairy1303 Wed 28-Aug-13 15:48:37

Oh sweetie I feel for you.
Firstly with regards to the size - at 34 week scan they told me he was 'at least 6lbs'. He was born healthy but not massive 8.5 at 40+5, my understanding is that they are often wrong.

Are there less intrusive ways of managing your pelvic floor issues than c section? It is major surgery...

Ultimately you know what is best for you. You are within your rights to request a section if you want.

P.s - if it makes you feel better i had 'water or wee' game too - midwife did sniff test-SNIFF test! To check. She said its REALLY common so don't be embarrassed.

Amber76 Wed 28-Aug-13 15:55:34

I've had 2 sections with no problems but was told by a doctor that there can still be problems with the pelvic floor even if you have a section so if that's your chief reason for wanting one then reconsider it.
Explain your worries about birth to the doctor - midwife who suggested home birth after two difficult births clearly didn't seem to know what she was talking about.

AFishWithoutABicycle Wed 28-Aug-13 16:05:19

I was told my baby was very large she was 6.7 so they don't always know. I had a c section due to being 2 weeks over and when I went in they found she was breech. The c section was very quick and the recovery time was only a few days. I haven't had a 'normal' birth but my experience of an elective c section was very positive even though its not wha I would have planned.

wonderingsoul Wed 28-Aug-13 16:15:32

the size i would take with a pinch of salt. ds2 they said he was going to be huge... he was 4lbs 2, with no fat on him at all.

i would have a word with them, tell them your worrys. i also have quick labour. 4 hours with ds1 and 30 minutes with ds2 and have been told if i have a 3rd we would have to "plan" it so you may feel better talking about whats going to happen around that.

ynbu but i honestly dont think it will make much of a differance if you have the baby via c section or not. if things are really as bad as you say AFTER you have had th ebaby i would consider surgery, that is after youv done the exersises for at least a year.

good luck though and i hop eyou have a "nice" birth as possable.

eurochick Wed 28-Aug-13 16:21:16

I thought it was the pregnancy that did for your pelvic floor more than the birth, in most cases? If so, a section won't help. You'll still be leaking wee but also have major surgery to heal from!

I hope you can find a solution you are happy with.

I know that DD's birth messed up my pelvic floor. It was perfect until the day she was born, so the idea that pregnancy rather than birth causes the damage should be taken with a pinch of salt - it may well be the case for some women but not all. My physio said that pelvic floor damage plateaus after he second birth, so yours may well not get any worse.

If we have any more DC I will be having a CS as I don't want any more damage a I really want to avoid surgery to repair my pelvic floor or at least delay it until I no longer need to lift my DC. Pelvic floor repairs can be really significant surgery (I don't know about all of them, but certainly the one I would need).

Kyrptonite Thu 29-Aug-13 18:29:22

Saw the consultant and had a scan. Baby currently measuring at 7lb 6oz estimated.

Went to GP and begged to be induced or have a c-section. He told me I was being ridiculous, there was no way the baby could get stuck coming out, my SPD will go within 24 hours of giving birth and I just need to get my husband to take over all the housework that "women have to do" so that I can rest. And the incontinence will go as soon as I've had the baby.

I've been in tears for the past hour. Im so sick of this and no one seems to understand how bloody worried I am about it.

I also feel guilty for moaning so much when its a healthy pregnancy but I really can't cope anymore.

LookAtTheTwain Thu 29-Aug-13 18:35:55

I think it's pelvic floor exercises you need to be thinking about more than a C section.

Eilidhbelle Thu 29-Aug-13 18:45:55

Can you see another GP? That one sounds like a complete tool.

Bamboobambino Thu 29-Aug-13 18:49:19

The GP can't influence the situation in any way anyhow. These decisions are made by the obstetric team

See another GP pronto.

hazeyjane Thu 29-Aug-13 18:50:03

Urinary incontinence can happen after csection as well as vaginal birth.

Personally I found an elcs very difficult to recover from. I was told I would certainly need surgery after having ds, but have managed to avoid, and my pelvic floor isn't completely knackered!

froken Thu 29-Aug-13 18:50:16

Don't cry! ( hugs)

A big baby doesn't necessarily mess up your pelvic floor, ds was 10 pounds and he came out with 2 pushes. My pelvic floor is exactly the same as before pregnancy, I had a smear 3 months post birth and the nurse was amazed I'd had a baby.

I also had awful wee problems in pregnancy, I used scented liners and dp recently told me I still smelt of wee occasionally blush I think it was the baby sitting on my bladder because as soon as ds was born it was fine.

Good luck, I hope it all works out well for you smile

PurplePidjin Thu 29-Aug-13 18:59:57

Yabvvvu to beg - you need to state calmly what will be happening at your birth.

Write a list of bullet points and get an appointment asap with your mw or consultant.

Good luck thanks

oscarwilde Thu 29-Aug-13 19:03:05

You poor thing - you sound like you are at the end of your rope and your GP is clearly a pillock.

I'd push very heavily for post natal pelvic floor surgery [and the snip for DH] in preference to a CS honestly. Bollocks to the exercises, start making a song and dance about how bad it has been before this pregnancy and start your GP writing his referral letter now. If it's your third naturally delivered child then even if it's a little bigger, I would be hoping for an easier delivery than the complication of a CS recovery with three children to look after.

Given the speed of your labours and previous blood loss, I would also tell the midwife what to do with her homebirth unless she is going to move in 24x7 in anticipation of your waters going. Silly cow.
Your are obviously under consultant care - can you get arsey with him/her? What can you do to have your labour ward on red alert when you phone to say you are on your way in?

everlong Thu 29-Aug-13 19:03:12

I'm sorry you're so upset.

I had ds2 at hone because of a precipitate labour.. all very terrifying with just my sister, niece and her DH. He was nearly 10lb.

With ds3 I was like you very scared and anxious about another fast labour so I asked the consultant for a C section. He wouldn't hear of it. Said no immediately. I cried too.

He did offer induction at 38 weeks which I had and it was ok.

You will be ok.

loopydoo Thu 29-Aug-13 19:17:13

I understand how you are feeling and I can tell you are anxious by the situation. It's very common in pregnancy to have leakage problems as the muscles are weaker.

I would ask to talk to your midwife and explain (before the appointment) that you would like her to explain options if incontinence continues after birth.

Tell her why you are thinking about the CS option and tell her your SPD worries. If you don't feel as though she has explained it properly or enough to make you feel at ease, tell her and ask her to go over it again.

She needs to work with you and support you in how you're feeling and the choices you make. Perhaps you could get your previous birth notes and ask her to go over them with you....you certainly don't want to feel goaded into something or be told (by GP) you're being ridiculous. Fear should not be brushed over, no matter how small that fear is smile

Kyrptonite Thu 29-Aug-13 19:50:00

I don't have a telephone number for my consultant. Can I phone the hospital and get put through that way?

I have my first physio session for the pelvic floor issues on Monday morning.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 29-Aug-13 19:59:35

I am sorry that you are so distressed. I think you need an appointment with a consultant to explain how terrified you are and see their advice as to how best minimise the chance of any further damage occurring. I honestly don't know whether a section or a vaginalbirth would be the best bet but your consultant will. Your GP sounds sexist and unpleasant. I hope you can find a resolution.

lljkk Thu 29-Aug-13 20:07:03

Almost every medical consultant has own PA/secretary who handles their private clients as well as NHS, hospital can put you in touch.

Wellwobbly Thu 29-Aug-13 20:07:18

Don't beg.

Demand.

Make sure you see the consultant at the hospital.

everlong Thu 29-Aug-13 20:15:59

Demanding won't do anything.

Bamboobambino Thu 29-Aug-13 20:20:38

Agree, don't demand, discuss and ask for a second opinion from a different consultant if you need to.
NICE guidelines do not give you a right to demand anything except a second opinion from a different obstetrician if necessary.

MrsBettany Thu 29-Aug-13 20:22:28

Check out NICE's guidance CG132 issued in 2011. You are entitled to request a caeserian even where there is no clinical indication. Your consultant is required to discuss your concerns but ultimately is required to offer you a caeserian if you still want one. Where a consultant is not willing to offer a caeserian they must refer you to another consultant who will.

You do not need to beg anyone - make an appt asap with your consultant and take the NICE guidance with you. You may decide after discussion that you are happy to have a vaginal birth but if you are not then they cannot deny you a caesarian.

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