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AIBU?

...to suggest to my DD1 (16) that she should go to the gym?

52 replies

UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 13:43

She is not overweight. In fact, she is slightly underweight but has steadily been putting weight on over the last two years, which is a relief.

Her high metabolism means she eats a lot of unhealthy food regularly (crisps, biscuits, chocolates) and never gets fat - lucky sod!

However she has a family history of heart disease from her father's side, so AIBU to suggest to her that she does cardio at the gym a few times a week? She is not very fit either.

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ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 27/08/2013 13:44

Could you get her a personal trainer at the gym too? Just so it seems less bewildering for her.

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Squitten · 27/08/2013 13:47

Maybe suggest she stops eating crap?

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UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 13:47

ManAlive, yes I think I could. She can meet him at the induction to the gym and he is very friendly. The gym I am suggesting is also familiar to her as it is part of the racquets club where she plays badminton.

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TiffanyAtBreakfast · 27/08/2013 13:48

If you do suggest it, please go carefully. I ended up having a very dysfunctional relationship with food because my mum and dad were obsessed and commented on my weight all the time even though I wasn't overweight (I am now!).

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UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 13:49

Squitten we are trying to cut down on crap as a family but despite the fact it is unhealthy I'd rather see her eat as her appetite is not big. We are also vegetarian so putting on weight is quite hard.

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TiffanyAtBreakfast · 27/08/2013 13:49

Definitely agree with Squitten in thinking the focus here should be on her food habits and not just exercise.

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Bonsoir · 27/08/2013 13:49

Changing her diet would be my first priority.

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ScariestFairyByFar · 27/08/2013 13:51

If she plays badminton can you not approach it from that angle or encourage her to play more badminton or a different sport.

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Bonsoir · 27/08/2013 13:51

Why are you vegetarian? Is she eating crap because she lacks protein and is hungry?

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UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 13:51

Thanks Tiffany - you raise a valid point. I am thinking of joining with her for support. I'll see if I can slip it into a conversation.

By no means do I want to impose a diet on her of any sort - hence not complaining about eating crap.

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Sparrowlegs248 · 27/08/2013 13:51

I find the gym uber boring but LOVE exercise classes - zumba, step, body combat etc. They are more fun and might appeal more to her?

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Sparrowlegs248 · 27/08/2013 13:52

I find the gym uber boring but LOVE exercise classes - zumba, step, body combat etc. They are more fun and might appeal more to her?

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Squitten · 27/08/2013 13:53

Why does she need to eat junk though? If she's hungry, why can't she eat healthy food?

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UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 13:54

Bonsoir we were initially vegetarian due to religion but I have given DD the option of eating meat now that she is older. She has always refused and is now vegetarian because of her own views on animal rights.

Our diet does not lack protein. We have some form of lentils/pulses daily.

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Squitten · 27/08/2013 13:54

I wouldn't complain at her for eating junk - just don't buy it!

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UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 13:57

Squitten, this is the issue. I have stopped buying junk and the fridge is stocked with fresh fruit.

I have started making homemade juices in the morning and am pushing healthier snacks like carrot sticks and hummus.

Naturally they seem less appealing than a bar of chocolate however! Grin

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livinginwonderland · 27/08/2013 14:00

Junk is a quick fix when you're hungry. It fills you up quickly, but because it doesn't last, you're hungry again a couple of hours later. I would focus on fixing her diet before you try and push the exercise route.

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Seaweedy · 27/08/2013 14:01

I think that vegetarians having difficulty putting weight on is a bit of a fallacy, OP (speaking as a fellow vegetarian). You say yourself that she has been gaining weight for some time, and that sounds like a pretty processed carbs-and-cheap-fats diet which is likely to cause weight gain even to a meat-free person.

Agreeing with those who say her diet needs addressing, rather than her activity levels. Whoever made the point about making sure she gets enough protein could well be right, too. Vegetarians who don't get enough protein often end up eating too much carbohydrate, in my experience.

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Seaweedy · 27/08/2013 14:02

Cheese, or don't you eat dairy products? Eggs?

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WorraLiberty · 27/08/2013 14:03

If she plays badminton, is she not already quite fit?

Or does she not play often?

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eurochick · 27/08/2013 14:05

I think diet is the issue here, although being more active is always a good thing.

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UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 14:13

WorraLiberty she plays once a week for 2 hours.

To all others, what are your suggestions to mend her diet? Dairy products are fine but not egg - she is allergic.

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lljkk · 27/08/2013 15:55

exercise is good for most of us. yanbu on that part.

Have known plenty of fat vegetarians, mind. And junk food is really bad for your teeth, too.

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Sparrowlegs248 · 27/08/2013 16:52

She doesn't need to lose weight but you want her to be active? I can't see an issue with that. I think you are right about not worrying too much about her diet. Shes 16 fgs! You presumably give her healthy meals but she snacks on junk? When i was 16 i ws very very slim, waas provided with plentiful healthy breakfast and a proper evening meal. I usually spent my lunch money on fags and an iced bun!

Better some choclate than 10 B & H!!

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UneBelleCerise · 27/08/2013 16:56

Nottalotta it is exactly as you describe! Her main meals are very healthy - it's the snacks that aren't. So you think I should encourage her to go to the gym?

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