to be fuming with dh over this?

(46 Posts)
tugamommy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:45:16

We're on holiday and drove almost 2h to visit a town. I didn't really want to go as o don't like driving that long but dh sulks when he doesn't get his way so I agreed. There's us, the dc and the pil so we had 2 cars, I was driving one dh the other.

On the way there dh was in front. He was doing 90-110kmph in the motorway, which I think is too slow and made the journey painfully long but fine, better too slow than too fast. On the way back I was in front and doing 120-130, closer to 120 most of the time (this is the limit here btw). 10min in dh overtook me and slowed.down to 100-110kmph, below 90kmph at times. I really assumed he was just distracted.and unaware of his speed or mine but he later said he did it because I was driving too fast.

I'm so offended. I'm a really conscientious driver, always aware of speed likits and never going above, been driving for 20 years and never had an accident. Dh on the other hand used to be a really reckless driver when young and had a couple of serious accidents (one of them because he fell asleep when he.was already 34); never really aware of what the speed limit is. He's a good driver, but deep down doesn't think he really worry about rules iykwim.

So, iabu to be this mad?

bridgetsmum Mon 26-Aug-13 21:48:48

I think if you both knew where you were going, especially on the way back there was no need to convoy on the motorway. Could you just not have said you'd meet him at the destination.

Sirzy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:50:00

I would be annoyed to but that is why following another driver is never a good or safe idea much better to just agree to meet at the location.

But there again you said you never speed but then said " 120-130, closer to 120 most of the time (this is the limit here btw)" - so if the limit is 120 then you were speeding hmm

BonaDrag Mon 26-Aug-13 21:50:52

You were speeding.

gamerchick Mon 26-Aug-13 21:51:59

I was all goggle eyed at those speeds till I converted it grin still a bit fast for me though.. your dudes speeds would have been more comfortable for me if the kids were in the car. But I don't like travelling in cars much.

tugamommy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:52:13

True, but it just happened this way. I would have been fine if he had stayed behind it's the slowing me down that I'm struggling to digest....

numbum Mon 26-Aug-13 21:53:27

YANBU to be annoyed by his lack of speed.

However, maybe he's paranoid after his serious accidents and was lookinhlg after you in his own way?

sooperdooper Mon 26-Aug-13 21:53:29

I'm confused as where you were but if you were going over the speed limit YABU

And there was no need to follow each other anyway, you could've just arranged to meet when you got there

Famzilla Mon 26-Aug-13 21:53:46

How can you be offended that he told you you were speeding when you ^ were^? Have I got the wrong end of the stick?

Famzilla Mon 26-Aug-13 21:54:05

Italic fail

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 26-Aug-13 21:55:44

If the limit is 120kmph and you were doing between that and 130kmph then you were speeding and BVU for that.

tugamommy Mon 26-Aug-13 21:55:55

LOL! Yes, technically I was speeding by probably 2 or 3 mph but that is not significant in this country!
Mil kept repeating I never ever speed - I always do 140kmph!

And what stopped you overtaking him again, since he was slower than you? You knew he was slowing you down.
No need to stay in convoy on the way back you both know where you were going.

DrHolmes Mon 26-Aug-13 21:58:18

Yanbu in my opinion.

Do you ever drive him? Does he "let you" drive your children around?

Honestly that would have pissed me off. I'd much rather be driven by a good driver who drives fast than a crap driver who drives slowly.

BrokenSunglasses Mon 26-Aug-13 21:59:00

What's 120kmph in mph?

Why didn't you just overtake him?

I don't think you have anything to be offended about.

kalidanger Mon 26-Aug-13 22:01:43

I'd be annoyed he was 'managing' me and treating me like a kid. YANBU.

Famzilla Mon 26-Aug-13 22:02:02

But you were speeding though? Still don't get your arguement or how you can be fuming when you're the one in the wrong.

MissStrawberry Mon 26-Aug-13 22:02:53

You shouldn't have been speeding (if indeed you were) but what he did was rather controlling and that would piss me right off.

tugamommy Mon 26-Aug-13 22:10:42

I was doing the speed limit on average, only very slightly above at times. Dh goes above the limit often and I tell him off many times.

Yes, he's ok with me driving him and the children all the time.

Overtaking him would have ftelt like an immature and childish game somehow....

Revengeofkarma Mon 26-Aug-13 22:11:36

Couple issues here:
1) yes, you were speeding
2) he's a controlling jerk. You didn't want to go, so he sulked. Alarm bell number one. Then when he didn't like how you drove (though too slow on a motorway is also hazardous) he had to control it and put you in a still dangerous situation, but under his control. Alarm bell two.

So yeah, you should be offended. And on more than one count. But in your being offended you need to acknowledge your speeding.

Very controlling behaviour, I would be pissed off too!

tugamommy Mon 26-Aug-13 22:17:21

Just told him how offended I am - he said he doesn't care and won't talk to me.... I'm gonna kill him!

cantspel Mon 26-Aug-13 22:18:26

Did you have the children in the car?

HellonHeels Mon 26-Aug-13 22:23:44

From what you've said, he sounds like a controlling whiny sulker.

However, you sound like a potentially dangerous driver. Exceeding the speed limit is speeding. Speed kills. The limit is a limit, not a target. Lower speeds are safer. Why the rush?

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