was ibu to shout at the top of my voice about two crying dc left in a car

(34 Posts)
inneedofsomehelpplz Mon 26-Aug-13 09:44:46

whilst the mother was browsing the sale rail? went shopping in a pet store & parked outside was a car with two young children strapped in their car seats screaming for their mother. the window was open but it was a hot dayso as i entered the shop i said (in a loud voice than shouting) that i couldnt believe soneone would leave young children screaming in a car whilst shopping to which a young woman glared at me & continued shopping.about 10 mins later she left the store & got in hercar & drove off.

i know its not on a scale of neglect some dc are subjected to but it didnt sit right with me.

if i need to shop i will take all dc with me.

ImATotJeSuisUneTot Mon 26-Aug-13 09:47:33


Nagoo Mon 26-Aug-13 09:47:40

Wow YANBU. I can't believe she carried on shopping! I leave my 6YO in the car now, 2-3 mins at a time because he begs to stay in there while I do the nursery drop off (in the car park outside nursery) but there is no way I would leave a toddler in the car!

ImATotJeSuisUneTot Mon 26-Aug-13 09:48:32

Although I'd probably have 'asked' to be less confrontational.

Are those your children outside? They're really quite upset you know...

inneedofsomehelpplz Mon 26-Aug-13 09:49:30

yes, i was loud but didnt know who the mother was.

BringOn2014 Mon 26-Aug-13 09:49:51

I think instead of the passive aggressive loud remark you made you should have noted the registration plate asked them to announce in store that kids were crying in the car and if no-one returned to the car immediately, called the police.
Instead you knowingly let two DC be left in a car screaming while you shopped in store and only saw the woman leave ten minutes later.

Numberlock Mon 26-Aug-13 09:52:45

Why didn't you do something to stop it?

Ra88 Mon 26-Aug-13 09:52:46

^ exactly what bringon said !

meditrina Mon 26-Aug-13 09:52:52

Agree with bringiton a tannoy announcement for 'driver of car reg XYZ to return immediately to distressed children or police will be called' would have been far more effective. She'd hardly have spent 10 more minutes browsing after that.

marriedinwhiteisback Mon 26-Aug-13 09:54:59

I agree with bringon the OP ws unreasonable in the way she deat with it but unreasonable to be concerned.

DfanjoUnchained Mon 26-Aug-13 09:57:20

Good on you to shame her, stupid woman

Platinumstart Mon 26-Aug-13 09:58:54

YABU to behave in a passive aggressive manner when the situation required positive action.

The children were distressed, strapped in and quite possibly very hot but you didn't actually do anything.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Mon 26-Aug-13 09:59:00

What bring said.

That was a really foolish, passive-aggressive way to deal with the situation. You made yourself look like a bitchy loon and did absolutely nothing to assist the children.

Platinumstart Mon 26-Aug-13 10:00:12

Dfanjo she clearly wasn't shamed though was she? She just carried on as before

Bamboobambino Mon 26-Aug-13 10:00:32

YABU. You should have quietly done what the posters above have suggested. i.e asked store to do tannoy announcement. Your actions seem to me to be designed to draw attention to yourself, and make you seem judgey. Not that I'm defending this mother, her actions were out of order, but there was a better way to deal with this without shouting.

inneedofsomehelpplz Mon 26-Aug-13 10:35:01

ok so i wbu but i dont think there is a law to state you cant leave your children alone in a car is there? it was a small store so no tanoy system. & yes, i probably came across as a fish wife in hindsight :-\

Mojavewonderer Mon 26-Aug-13 10:43:39

You should have told the store staff who could have made enquiries into who's car it was. Like you say it was a small store so they could have walked around asking all the customers who's car it was.

MrsWilberforce Mon 26-Aug-13 10:45:52

bit much you have a go at the OP for the way it was handled - at least she/he showed concern enough to do something fgs. Most people wouldn't have had the guts to step in.

Hopefully it will at least have highlighted to the woman that it's unacceptable to leave dc in that way.

Silverfoxballs Mon 26-Aug-13 10:49:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inneedofsomehelpplz Mon 26-Aug-13 11:36:07

lesson learned, inform the shop staff :-)

VerySmallSqueak Mon 26-Aug-13 11:43:49

Listen,OP,you may have been able to have handled it better,but at least you did something.

Lots of people wouldn't.

We''ll all learn from this thread and work out a good way to approach it if anyone is in this position in the future.So that's a real positive.

The benefit of hindsight is just that - a real benefit.

I am not so good at thinking on my feet and in loads of situations I look back and think I could have done it better.

But you did something and that's what counts,so flowers

Probably she would have shopped for longer had you not done what you did.

waikikamookau Mon 26-Aug-13 11:46:15

the shop might have not had a tannoy, the shop assistant/mnager might just have shrugged their shoudlers, and not offered to make such an announcement.
who knows.

waikikamookau Mon 26-Aug-13 11:47:37

you shamed the woman,

LookAtTheTwain Mon 26-Aug-13 11:50:31

Children can die if left in a car on a hot day, even with windows open. It can and does happen. I read something awful about it. I won't go into details, but I couldn't sleep properly for days after reading what a child goes through overheating in a car before they die.

LookAtTheTwain Mon 26-Aug-13 11:50:45


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