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To be dreading our upcoming 'holiday'?

(59 Posts)
TheCunnyFunt Sun 25-Aug-13 20:18:41

This is probably going to be really long, I don't want to dripfeed!

Me, DP and our 2yo DD. A week in Cornwall in a static caravan, with MIL, 18yo BIL and 21yo BIL. It would be bad enough like that, as BILs tend to argue over the smallest things, and MIL is a super clean freak, she never EVER does things 'in a minute', everything has to be done NOW. I am the total opposite, quite happy to leave washing up until the next day etc. me and MIL get on, but we cannot live together. I have been dreading the holiday from the day it was agreed. This is the only way we can afford to go on holiday though and we do need a holiday because we've had the shittiest year imaginable, my brother got stabbed and spent 4 months in hospital, my grandad died, my dog killed my rabbit, we bought a new (to us) car that's turned out to be riddled with problems, and on Monday DP had a bad accident at work with a Stihl saw and can't do anything so I'm having to run around after both him and DD. i even gave to bath him!

We've just been informed that oldest BILs (who isn't coming) son will be coming with us, his DS is also 2. Our DD is so laid back, she's (mostly) a lovely, cheery little soul who is a joy to be around and she stays in bed until 8.30-9am most mornings. DN is the polar opposite, he screams, cries, has complete meltdowns over the tiniest thing and wakes up at the crack of dawn. He spends the majority of his days in tears. It wouldn't be so bad if us 3 could escape for the day but DP might not be able to drive by the time holiday comes around and I don't drive.

I just don't want to go now. If I didn't want to go before, I certainly don't now. Would it be so terrible to fib to DP and tell him that the dogs other family aren't able to have him for the week so I'll just have to stay home? Either that or I'll happily accept donations of alcohol and hip flasks to get me through the nightmare week sad

I have my flameproof suit and hardhat at the ready, just in case I'm being incredibly bitchy to not want to go.

Aibu?

TheCunnyFunt Sun 25-Aug-13 20:20:55

Should also mention that oldest BIL and his partner are ALWAYS dumping DN on MIL, even though she's his fulltime childminder, she always seems to have him for a weekend here, a week there etc.

I wouldn't go, no. Definitely YANBU to try to get out of it (though tbh I wouldn't have agreed in the first place, these things never go well)

Do you have to convince DH not to go? I mean, do you need to come up with a fib for DH or just for ILs?

No one can make you go on holiday, if it's going to be a total nightmare don't go.

I'm sorry for your losses too. Hope your year gets better soon.

AutumnMadness Sun 25-Aug-13 20:40:07

OMG, it sounds like the ninth circle of hell. Really, it is time to announce that you have flu/conjunctivitis/dreadful urinary tract infection/some other, preferably very contagious disease. Get yourself out of it!

AutumnMadness Sun 25-Aug-13 20:42:31

Anyway, your DP had a back accident. Great excuse not to go! The man can't even bath himself. How is he expected to fit into a caravan with 25 other people? The beds in there will make his back hurt like nothing else.

FoodieToo Sun 25-Aug-13 20:43:22

Oh my god,sorry,but that is not a holiday. That is hell on earth.
Get out of it. Pretend vomiting bug,anything contagious.

Hope you get a break soon !

GladbagsGold Sun 25-Aug-13 20:44:14

Oh dear. Do not come up with dog related excuse; your MIL will get you transfered to a place that takes dogs and it'll be the nightmare PLUS your dog. Research local bus timetable and excursions and do your own thing, just the 3 of you.

kaosak Sun 25-Aug-13 20:48:08

That is the opposite of a holiday! You are not being bitchy, I would do anything to get out of such a week. Good luck op and hope your year improves ten fold from here on in!

SugarMiceInTheRain Sun 25-Aug-13 20:51:01

I'd avoid, avoid, avoid. Your DH's accident, needing his own bed etc is the perfect excuse. I say this having been on a holiday with FIL at the beginning of the summer, from which I am still recovering and wish I hadn't been on as he drove me mad and taught the kids all kinds of bad habits which I'm still trying to undo hmm The odds are against you having a nice or relaxing time and it sounds like a week at home would do you far more good than a week crammed in a caravan with all that drama going on.

Sokmonsta Sun 25-Aug-13 20:51:25

If your dp can't do anything now and you can't drive, how would you be getting on holiday? If he was to be driving you there it's the perfect excuse not to go. You can't get there and it's a sod of a journey to be squashed in someone else's car.

TheCunnyFunt Sun 25-Aug-13 21:04:25

Well both BILs can drive so me, DP and DD in a car with a BIL driving, and MIL, DN in the other car with other BIL driving.

Do I win a prize for most acronyms in one sentence?

Your DH has had an accident and can't drive.

Tell them you are really really sorry but you can't come. I suspect they will be relieved to know there will only be 5 people instead of 8 (including 2 toddlers!) + a dog in a static caravan! shock

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 25-Aug-13 21:11:30

I've got a feeling that you're going to get a bad case of D&V in the next few days and then, well it would be irresponsible to go and give everyone else it wink

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 25-Aug-13 21:12:06

And how on god's earth do you get your 2 year old to stay in bed so late - I would have been so envious of that a couple of years back envy

Leeds2 Sun 25-Aug-13 21:29:02

Don't go!

Does your DH want to go? Presumably someone agreed to this in the first place ......

TheCunnyFunt Sun 25-Aug-13 21:59:45

I don't know MrsCampbell! But I love her for it! She goes to bed at about 6-6.30pm too grin

DP wants to go, obviously he's grown up with the ILs so his mums cleanliness and his brothers fighting is normal to him. He is pissed about nephew coming though, he says he's going to have a word with his mum in the week, not sure if it'll make a difference though sad

Send DP - tell him it will "do him good to get away for a nice rest and to recuperate from his accident" and you and your DD stay home because "it will make so much more work for poo MiL and she will want to look after DP when he's poorly".
Assume a martyred expression and sigh a bit but insist they go without you and DD, then lay in a stock of Disney DVDs, popcorn, buy each of you a onesie grin and make a fort from the sofa cushions on the living room floor for you and DD to have your own holiday at home.

poor not poo blush

TotallyBursar Mon 26-Aug-13 02:09:54

Poo Mil grin.

Agree totally with Pombear.
You know you want to and it is a nice neat path to a win-win situation.

Selks Mon 26-Aug-13 02:23:33

You can't possibly go with that awful stomach bug that you've got now, can you? grin

AgentZigzag Mon 26-Aug-13 02:24:50

Autumn's description of it as the ninth circle of hell just sums it up nicely.

What if it rains incessantly and you're stuck watching the kettle boil for entertainment? (Father Ted grin).

Or looking at the clock at 7.30am and working out you've got to get through 16/17 hours of it before you can crawl back into bed.

It's making me feel imprisoned you just describing it, please get yourself out of it. It'll be like the feeling of getting the day off school if you can, you'll appreciate every second of that time grin and your DD will be just as happy at home as she would on holiday.

toomanyfionas Mon 26-Aug-13 02:37:46

Seriously, don't go. Just don't.

Use any money at all that you were going to use for this holiday and instead pay for a few takeaways and wines at home.

You will feel a lot better for it.

Azultrailer Mon 26-Aug-13 02:48:15

As I type, I'm alternating between throwing up into a bucket, and staggering to the loo to shit blue lights. Gastric flu is all around, I can send you a long list of symptoms, just cut and paste on an email to MIL and voila, you're sprung from hell.

Seriously, don't go. Just don't. Not even a private wine box in your handbag will improve this.

Chottie Mon 26-Aug-13 05:44:35

This sounds just awful and not like a holiday at all. Don't go, you will come back needing a holiday and DD may pick up on DNs ways too.

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