Is this tradition still about??

(95 Posts)
OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 10:51:18

my dm rang before, becuase I said I haven't put much thought into getting my bridesmaids presents, and she rang up to say . well they need one really, so she said she'd get something.

And to talk to my florist mate as the Mothers b/g get a bouquet on the day???
I've never seen this???
Aibu to think this must not happen anymore much?
confused

Nanny0gg Sun 25-Aug-13 10:53:49

It does to the best of my knowledge.

I got a bouquet at my DC's wedding and all the bridesmaids got a keepsake.

Depends on how much help the mothers have been though I suppose. Have they had any input or have you done it all on your own?

jacks365 Sun 25-Aug-13 10:56:19

My bridesmaids got jewellery and the mothers got flowers as thanks. Never been to a wedding where it hasn't happened.

TallyGrenshall Sun 25-Aug-13 10:57:41

It's happened at all the weddings I've been to. The last one, the bridesmaids got some jewellery to wear, the ushers got cufflinks and DS got a keepsake mug with his name and page boy engraved on it.

DM got flowers and a present for making the cake

izzydazzling Sun 25-Aug-13 10:58:30

I didn't do bunches of flowers for the parents or presents (for my one BM). My wedding was small and on a tight budget. Tough titty to anyone expecting something.

EST0106 Sun 25-Aug-13 10:58:49

Yep, bridesmaid got a present and both mothers got flowers at my wedding. Seems pretty standard at all the weddings I've been to. Yabu.

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 10:58:55

They are helping now, I had just nver heard of it.

my maids' haven't feel took the steering wheel in anything thought even my MOH (anotherthread)I organised my own hen do pretty much , I felt cheeky asking them to pick up so nick nacks, so errr, as mean as it may sound I didnt think it really warranted a present.

montymum Sun 25-Aug-13 10:59:15

Yes we did presents for bridesmaids and flowers for mother of bride and groom. But we did this because we wanted to not because my mum told me to. Find it a little strange she is reminding you to buy her flowers! Have a lovely day

trikken Sun 25-Aug-13 10:59:40

not heard of the mother one. We bought expensive necklaces which they obviously kept after the wedding.

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 10:59:43

* a lot of spelling mistakes apologies.

meditrina Sun 25-Aug-13 11:00:52

The bridesmaids gifts were usually from the groom.

Mothers of the couple would get a corsage (not bouquet).

SarahAndFuck Sun 25-Aug-13 11:01:21

Yes it still happens.

My bridesmaids all had gifts but instead of flowers we bought both mothers a figurine.

They are usually presented by the groom during speeches at the weddings I have attended.

Lweji Sun 25-Aug-13 11:01:28

Is she contributing in any way?

Soupqueen Sun 25-Aug-13 11:02:03

I gave my bridesmaids a gift and my mother got a bottle of gin instead of flowers. Tbh my bridesmaids did naff all, but I still got them a gift.

Boosiehs Sun 25-Aug-13 11:04:14

Mothers get flowers and bridesmaids get a small present.

I thought this was just good manners?

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 11:04:21

Haha it is slightly odd, she started with asking me about the bridesmaids y.day.

We on a tight budget too izzy, I was like 'were sending thankyou cards to everyone?' I'm aware I sound a bit tight , I'm not just clueless.

Where would they put the flowers for the remainder of the night,

were unconventional though we arent having speeches as I don't really like hate them.

Nanny0gg Sun 25-Aug-13 11:05:41

Yes the bridesmaids' presents (and for the ushers and best man) are from the groom.

The corsage and bouquets were two different things.
The corsage is usual for the mums along with buttonholes for the wedding party (years ago, they were for everyone!)
The bouquets or arrangements for mums are (if wanted) a 'thank you' for input, help, finance or just because you love them and are 'leaving' them.

Again, if wedding small or on a tight budget, not necessary, but the tradition is not unusual still today.

tiggytape Sun 25-Aug-13 11:05:57

The tradition is that it is a bribe not a gift for helping organise things.
It stems from the belief that a bride might worry about being targeted by bad luck / evil spirit / a curse when all conspicuously dressed up for her Wedding Day.
Having another woman (or other women) stood next to her also dressed up would confuse any evil spirits and therefore protect the bride.
Basically it is danger money!

mrspremise Sun 25-Aug-13 11:06:07

Something small to show affection and appreciation is lovely; we had a teeny budget when we got married but still managed to afford a bunch of flowers for my DM and my DMIL. The bridesmaids each received a pretty bracelet (not expensive). I don't think people 'expect' a gift, but I think it's still a nice gesture to make. I also think that the 'tough titty...' comment above was an unhelpful and frankly horrible thing to write. I am staggered...

FirmYoungCarrot Sun 25-Aug-13 11:06:30

The bridesmaids and ushers got presents but no flowers for the mothers. It never occurred to me and would have annoyed my mother. The reception was as at my parents house and there were flowers there already. Perhaps I should have bought my M-I-L something. I just hadn't really come across it before.

Do it if you really want to otherwise don't bother.

goforthejobular Sun 25-Aug-13 11:06:31

You don't need to do any of this OP.

Nanny0gg Sun 25-Aug-13 11:06:38

They leave them on a table till it's time to go home (I had an arrangement not a bouquet).

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 11:06:40

I'm a v, young bride btw.

before anyone starts frothing about how I've obviously been raised by wolves or something along those lines & and chiming about my 'bad manners'

Yup I got the bridesmaids a gift and the mothers flowers. One of my bridesmaids was fantastic and really helped me before the wedding and on the morning. I love her to bits and wanted to get her a thank you prezzie. I got the other bridesmaid one just because I couldn't be mean enough to only buy one (she was a bitch throughout and we don't speak anymore).

The mothers got flowers just because that's what you do... I've never been to a wedding where this hasn't happened either.

NoComet Sun 25-Aug-13 11:07:43

At one DDs got pretty children's necklaces in fancy comerative boxes with the date.

At the one she did recently DD2 just got to keep everything she was wearing, dress, shoes, pretty hair comb and cheep pearls.

I'd have been blush if she'd got a present as well. The bride and her sister took her shoe shopping and home with them the night before the wedding and treated her like one if them, despite her being an 11y from the grooms side. She got her hair and make up done and had an absolute whale of a time.

The pictures of her looking utterly beautiful and totally in her element are better than any present.

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