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To think a no kids wedding should mean no kids at all?

(123 Posts)
CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Sun 25-Aug-13 09:42:27

Friend is getting married. Invite says no kids. Fair enough. But her DC will be there. And her nieces and nephews. But no one else can bring their children as it will mean there are "too many".
How many kids is too many kids? Where do we draw the line? And what about DC to whom she is godmother? And what about teenagers? What is the cut off point? 13? 18?
Fucking weddings.

And it's not normal for the similar amount of weddings I've been to!

ceres Tue 27-Aug-13 12:20:12

"I am irish and this is totally normal for irish weddings.

No it isn't. I'm Irish too and every Irish wedding I've ever been to has been overrun with kids. They're part of the celebration, there'd be plenty of hmm faces at the thought of child-free weddings."

well it's normal for the approx 10247 weddings I've been to.

Floggingmolly Tue 27-Aug-13 12:03:18

You thought because they had their own children they would "like" everyone else's children enough to invite them to their wedding??????
That is really not how it works...

soverylucky Tue 27-Aug-13 11:46:00

And to add - you must specify no kids if you don't want any. We had an invite that was to us both and I just assumed that dd could come too. She was the only child there. It was only later (when I joined mn in fact) when I discovered that child free weddings existed, that I realised I wasn't supposed to bring her. She was only a baby though and slept in her pram the whole time.

Fillyjonk75 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:44:36

At the couple of child free weddings I've been to, I was really glad not to bring the kids as the venue wasn't suitable for them. Also we had a great time!

Fillyjonk75 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:43:23

My friend said no kids at the wedding, but it was ok as it was an all in one wedding with reception at same venue as ceremony, and we could stay over. My mum kindly looked after 8 week old DD2 in the room, I could pop back up to BF, and my dad and aunty took DD1 out for the day.

One of friend's other friends did unexpectedly bring a three year old with them. My friend was so apologetic to me, but I told her not to worry at all, doesn't matter one bit!

I think it's fine to invite some children of close family. We had lots of children at our wedding which was brilliant, but it depends on your venue and budget.

soverylucky Tue 27-Aug-13 11:43:17

They can invite who they want. I wouldn't go though.

Lweji Tue 27-Aug-13 11:31:46

as a result, we are probably going to say babies only. which means my goddaughter and her brother won't be able to come. i'm really sad about this but there's not much else I can do.

Why??? shock

Even if you decide to exclude most children, you should certainly be able to invite any children you particularly want to be there.
And owe no explanations to anyone.

SHarri13 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:30:46

We did this, it was great and I'm pretty sure 99% of our friends were happy with this, that's why they are our friends!

PostBellumBugsy Tue 27-Aug-13 11:28:52

Childfree weddings always sadden me slightly - but I do understand why. As people get married later & later or 2nd or 3rd time around you can end up with loads of kids. If you are trying to do something vaguely formal, then just seating them all turns into a nightmare, not to mention the cost of feeding them all.
I think you have to respect the choice of whoever is stumping up for it all & just go with it as their party.

stillbusy84 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:22:38

Sorry yabu. Perfectly fine.

wonderingifiam2013 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:22:05

I meant child friendly!

wonderingifiam2013 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:21:44

and to add to that ... even if it is a child free wedding, ours will still be babysat hoping not ALL our family are invited! wink

wonderingifiam2013 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:19:33

Not read all comments ... but we've just received a save the date and I'm hoping it's 'no kids' but I can't bring myself to ask yet as it looks like I would be seen as a bad parent!

DH is best man so I don't want to be dragging small kids round with me all day - I want to arrange sitters, book a hotel for the night, buy an outfit that doesn't have to be patterned to disguise spills/puke/sticky fingers, wear sky high heels that I won't wobble on reaching down to a 2.5 foot little person grin and get drunk and dance with my husband! smile

And you never know ... get to sleep in past 6am and fit in some other fun!

I LOVE child free weddings grin

I am irish and this is totally normal for irish weddings.

No it isn't. I'm Irish too and every Irish wedding I've ever been to has been overrun with kids. They're part of the celebration, there'd be plenty of hmm faces at the thought of child-free weddings.

QueenofallIsee Tue 27-Aug-13 11:10:44

I was invited to a NC wedding - the B&Gs 18mth old son was the only one and was whisked away at 6pm. We were fine with that. Went to one where every single guest came with kids - there were over 50 children & the bride ended up phoning the evening reception DJ to come 2 hrs early and start games etc as they were completely out of control. Went to a beautiful wedding with kids with bouncy castle and party bags etc were put on & kids were well bahaved

A happy medium is not unreasonable in my opinion so as guests we choose to go or not!

twistedtoffee Tue 27-Aug-13 10:41:17

YABU. It is perfectly normal to want your own children and your nieces and nephews at your wedding. They are family. If you had to start asking all of your friends' children as well you could end up with dozens of kids tearing around the place, not to mention the extra cos

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 27-Aug-13 09:47:56

if your children's names arent on the invite, would you assume they are invited? I dont understand the need to say 'no children' - surely you just don't invite them

You can't assume, ever! Some people assume their kids are invited even if their names aren't on the invitation, or just turn up on the day with them. You have to specify no kids if that's what you want. We just put a short bit about children not being invited on the info we included with the invitations. We also told all our friends a year in advance.

valiumredhead Tue 27-Aug-13 08:53:45

Same as my wedding. Not weird, just very cleargrin

aurynne Tue 27-Aug-13 08:16:17

I did agonise over this with our wedding. We wanted a small party, something like 50 family and close friends, but if everyone had brought their kids we would have ended with almost as many kids as adults (and most of these kids were between 2 and 5 years old). We decided to take the risk and not make it child-free. We were incredibly lucky, as almost half of the guests with children decided not to bring them, and the day was so beautiful that the remaining kids had a blast playing outside and behaved wonderfully. We had the most amazing day, everyone absolutely loved it, children included.

However, we were very, very lucky. If everyone had decided to bring their kids, if it had been a rainy day and we had to stay inside, or if some of the kids had not behaved so well, it could very well have been very different.

MissDuke Tue 27-Aug-13 08:04:06

I think this is normal, I wouldn't expect to bring my children to a friend's wedding. However I will admit I was very upset when my husband's sister didn't invite our children to her wedding - especially since she knew we had bought their outfits a while before the invites came out. Would never even cross my mind that someone would leave their own nieces and nephews (she has 4) out of their wedding. Each to their own I guess!

CaterpillarCara Tue 27-Aug-13 07:54:58

The invitation thing is weird, people don't always seem to be that clear. I have twice not taken my children as they were not named and then been told they were invited and the bride was sad they hadn't come.

Wellthen Sun 25-Aug-13 20:47:50

Sorry, bit of a cross post with bigkids!

Wellthen Sun 25-Aug-13 20:46:14

I think if you exclude children you have to accept some of your guests wont be able to come. Completely child free weddings are odd if a lot of the guests have children or 'important' guests such as your family have children.

But, and I am genrally interested to know MN opinions as this may become important for me fairly soon, what about:
older (10+) children you have never met
children you don't like (assuming you are not related to them and they dont belong to the groomsmen or bridesmaids)
children who's parents you know would enjoy it more without them

Also - if your children's names arent on the invite, would you assume they are invited? I dont understand the need to say 'no children' - surely you just don't invite them.

I am a teacher so clearly like children and am looking forward to having them at my wedding (if I have one!). But I know quite a few people with children - do I really need to invite all of them?

GoingUpInTheWorld Sun 25-Aug-13 20:20:44

I had a no children wedding last year. Dhs children werent even invited. No one didnt come because their children werent invited.

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