To wonder why it takes men more than 5 minutes to have a poo??

(90 Posts)
natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 10:48:19

Just that really. If you need one enough to go to the loo surely it shouldn't take that long?!?! (Obviously I'm not including people with bowel conditions in this). grin

TheFillyjonk Sat 24-Aug-13 11:08:18

Thanks, Lottie - I always gave him a bit of a hmm when he talked about how he enjoyed it.

I think healthy-bowelled men do probably savour the feeling. And yes, AuntieStella - nothing as underrated.

Except for me, a good sneeze is better. Man, I LOVE a good sneeze.

lifesgreatquestions Sat 24-Aug-13 11:09:19

It's private time, you look busy so can't be interrupted. My OH also takes his phone, plays scrabble, looks at FB, etc., it's all very innocent. I do sometimes take his phone off him if I need him to be a bit quicker!

AuntieStella Sat 24-Aug-13 11:12:38

Love it that a poster called lifesgreatquestions appeared on this thread grin

AcidNails Sat 24-Aug-13 11:20:49

Well it's no wonder it takes him so long to have a shit if you're timing his toilet trips.

I couldn't shit under such pressure!

GhostsInSnow Sat 24-Aug-13 11:42:29

Dh could be in there for up to an hour, I'd get annoyed because we spend precious little time together anyway as he's not home from work unti 8,then he'd disappear to the bog for an hour, shower then bed.
I told him in the end it wasn't especially fair and now he only has half an hour.
Don't get it though, I'm in and out in five minutes. Surely their feet must be dead.

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 12:01:58

Haha! I wouldn't normally time them but I needed him to finish so I could get to an appointment grin

MrsMcEnroe Sat 24-Aug-13 12:17:06

OP, may I be the first to welcome you to the poo sisterhood? - http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1454142-To-ask-DH-to-kern-the-amount-of-time-he-spends-having-a-poo

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sat 24-Aug-13 12:21:38

It just annoys me so much! You need a poo, you go and have one, job done. DH poos in the morning before his shower and in the evening when he gets home, both of which could take up to half an hour.

I don't get it. Plus is it just me, or is it really unhygienic to read / play with your phone whilst on the loo? You wash your hands but you don't wipe down phone / book, do you? Think of all the germs...., <shudders>

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 12:32:13

Ooh thank you Mrs! I feel honoured!

Nagoo Sat 24-Aug-13 12:34:14

Hello saycool you been back long? smile

It's all of these reasons isn't it. I definitely think dh uses it as me-time.

I should take a leaf out of his book.

TylerHopkins Sat 24-Aug-13 12:37:48

It's just an excuse to get away for some alone time.

FobblyWoof Sat 24-Aug-13 12:39:12

I'm upduffed and if it takes less than 25 minutes I'm practically breaking out the happy dance and I'm only 21 weeks ffs

ToysRLuv Sat 24-Aug-13 12:40:22

DH sits on the loo for ages every day playing games and reading the news on his phone. Then he has a shower. Aaargh! I just don't get it. I get numb thighs if I sit on the loo too long, though. It takes me around 2mins to poo. Then I'd rather sit somewhere more comfortable..

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 24-Aug-13 12:45:08

Oh I can understand this. Sometimes a good poo really does make you feel on top of the world!

Doubtfuldaphne Sat 24-Aug-13 12:51:24

I'm a woman and take 20 minutes about 3 or 4 times A DAY!
I envy my dh who is in and out once day!
Sorry for the tmi but wanted to prove its not just men!

MrsMcEnroe Sat 24-Aug-13 12:55:15
Suzieismyname Sat 24-Aug-13 13:12:55

Some people can plop it out straight away, others can't. I need to relax first before it'll work it's way out... so puzzles, paper, phone, they're all in with me and hopefully not the DDs!

Pan Sat 24-Aug-13 13:25:44

It also depends on how long a man wants to hide from the feckin harridan with the clipboard and stop watch? Don't be so anal.

BlingBang Sat 24-Aug-13 13:41:53

It think it's because they can. Women gain the knack of the quick poo as they are the ones usually left with babies or little children who aren't too patient. I'm sure if men would be quicker if the baby was screaming etc and they were the only ones there.

BlingBang Sat 24-Aug-13 13:43:58

And agree, they are just buying themselves some extra them time and use it as an excuse.

alwaysontop Sat 24-Aug-13 14:48:11

I'm with you!! Why oh why? Surely you just go! Dh is in there for yonks with no book or anything!

CaptainCapybara Sat 24-Aug-13 15:50:01

I used to work with a man who would take the newspaper in with him and then leave that same newspaper on the staffroom table where other people had to eat their lunch, disgusting pig.

TheDoctrineOfPositivityYes Sat 24-Aug-13 16:01:59

What ho BillStickers, haven't seen you for a while.

Extra specially annoying: the just before we go out when the rest of us are ready in the car poo!

TheDoctrineOfPositivityYes Sat 24-Aug-13 16:02:52

Harridan, Pan?

Are you feeling bold today grin?

jumpingpillows Sat 24-Aug-13 16:59:48

pooing takes me the same length of time as peeing does! I don't understand how you can sit there if you don't actually NEED?

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