Perhaps not AIBU but are people in general BU to be fat and happy?

(42 Posts)
AdmiralData Fri 23-Aug-13 18:36:04

I only ask because a friend of mine who is a larger lady recently started a diet, she announced it on fb along with hourly updates of what she has eaten and how slim and healthy she feels now. She has also started being extremely rude and judgey about fat people when she KNOWS that our mutual friends are larger ladies (and happy). I think I'm just annoyed at her insensitivity but is it unreasonable for larger people to be happy?

DumSpiroSpero Sat 24-Aug-13 22:37:38

Exactly what Smoorikins said.

I am very overweight - I'd like to lose weight so I can healthier and buy fab clothes before I get too old to wear them.

In the meantime I'm not going to waste my life sobbing into my Ryvita's or kebab this evening - oops over it.

Trigglesx Sat 24-Aug-13 22:21:34

I rather think that people are either happy or not happy based on their confidence and view of life in general, rather than their size. A "glass is half empty" person is going to be unhappy no matter how thin or heavy they are. A "glass is half full" person is more likely to be happy or have a more positive outlook regardless of their size.

shitbiscuit Sat 24-Aug-13 22:19:00

IMO it's bad manners to wank on and on about what you eat, what you weigh, how you exercise/don't exercise... Anyone can be happy - fat, thin or in between. And everyone would be a lot happier if boring shit like weight and diet was considered a personal topic rather than a public one.

LookingForwardToVino Sat 24-Aug-13 21:56:02

I think its reasonable to be happy whatever your size.

I think it's unreasonable to judge anyone because of theirs

emmaliz Sat 24-Aug-13 21:54:08

When I was fat I used to think that the reason I was unhappy at times was down to my weight and things would be so much better if I were slim. I have since realised that was bullshit and I am the same amount of happy/unhappy now!

Lumpybumpymuma Sat 24-Aug-13 09:49:11

Ha, that made me laugh Smoorikins - fab attitude! flowers

Pinupgirl Sat 24-Aug-13 09:37:03

I am fat and quite happy with my body tsc-I dress well and am confident. I am not entirely happy with other areas of my life but that is nothing to do with my weight whatsoever.

absentmindeddooooodles Sat 24-Aug-13 09:18:09

Theres nothing wrong with being "fat and happy" or anyother weight and happy. What I think isnt great is the health aspect at either end of the sscale. Im all for people being cimfortable in their body whsyever their size, but when it becomes a health issue its a different story.
I have a close family member who is very very large. Shes always been quite big, but still healthy until the last couple if years. She has got into the thinking that she can be whatever size she wants to be....big and beautiful etc, with no consequences.
She is ill. Her weight has made her diabetic. Her blood pressure is sky high and she has alot of other complicstions all bought in solely but weight gain. This is when it is unfair. Her childeren are watching her deteriorate slowly and are being taught an unhealthy attitude towards food.
On the other hand, I have a friend who is constantly dieting and her 9 year old daughter had picked this up too. Both massively unhealrhy and not fair on others around them.

By all means be big or small and happy. A friend of mine is a size 18 and is genuinley the most stunning woman I have ever seen. But her health is great. Her childeren do not suffer and are all of a healthy weight.
She is happy and content. Ive never met anyone on a constant diet who is happy. The same as ive never met anyone who feels they cannot stop eating who is happy. It goes borh ways.

Arnie123 Sat 24-Aug-13 09:07:11

Is that why your name is Hungry George? I had to sit though husband eating ten packs of crisps last night and as I am on a diet I only ate one measly crisp! What is worse is he is not fat and I am

Arnie123 Sat 24-Aug-13 09:05:07

Perhaps deep down she is jealous of the larger ladies as they get to eat all that lovely cake and she cannot

Smoorikins Sat 24-Aug-13 06:29:27

There's a difference between being happy and being happy with your weight.

I'm happy, but would like to be 3 stone lighter. But there is no way I'm going to let my weight get in the way of enjoying life.

IMO its easier to lose weight when you do feel good about yourself. Being in a bad relationship contributed to my weight gain. Now I have lost 15 stone of useless lard (aka my ex) its easier for me to lose the unwanted fat. Purely because I'm happy. And it is coming off, and its not a struggle this time.

catinabox Sat 24-Aug-13 06:23:08

Ah...your friend probably needs to do this to maintain her efforts.

My DH has health kicks from time to time and is a complete bore. He's also completely intolerant of people that moan about their weight and goes on and on about people in denial about the health conditions that are caused by being overweight.

Part of this is due to the fact he used to be absolutely huge and is now a healthy weight, another reason is that he is a HP and sees people day after day presenting with conditions whose primary cause is being overweight. Gall stones, muscular skeletal problems, heart conditions.

I get sick of his soapbox sometimes but actually, he only seems to do it when the love handles make a reappearance. It seems to spur him on.

Good for your friend for her efforts, it's not easy i'm sure. If she's a bit of a bore for a while, perhaps let her off a bit. She should nt be being rude about others though. Keep her thoughts about others to herself. I'd say don't look at her facebook for now.

Yes, i think you can be fat and happy but i dont think a person can really be happy if they are unhealthy. Some larger curvy women look great and a few curves doesn't mean someone is really unhealthy...... If you can't run for a bus, have aches and pains, don't like the way you look, then you can't really be that happy with your weight surely.

HungryGeorge Sat 24-Aug-13 06:12:48

I used to weigh 29 stone. Now I am 10 stone and I can honestly say that I was more confident and felt healthier when I was bigger compared to now.

I don't think its about weight but more state of mind

meditrina Sat 24-Aug-13 05:57:29

You're friend has the zeal of the newly converted.

It crops up with all sorts of things. If you leave her alone for a while, you'll (probably) find she normalises. And if she was nice previously, then she might even realise spontaneously that she went a bit weird for a while.

CharityFunDay Sat 24-Aug-13 03:51:43

Next time you're out with her, you should take a rod and tackle, and buy a Subway, and cast it out into the middle of the road, then reel it back in while she chases it across the street.

Chl0e Fri 23-Aug-13 23:52:36

She might risk boring people if she details what she's eating, but how is she insensitive? confused

Sophita Fri 23-Aug-13 23:52:16

(sorry posted to soon BUT she might be feeling more insecure than she lets on about her new programme - I remember feeling really weird as I lost a bit of weight - I was suddenly visible in ways I felt uncomfortable with, I was worried I'd be setting myself up for a yo-yo cycle forever, paranoid that I didn't actually look that different in my mirror etc etc - so if she used to be a good mate, I'd give her a chance to calm down)

Sophita Fri 23-Aug-13 23:49:36

If you have to keep telling the world how you feel via facebook, then it's probably fake - applies to everything from 'I'm so happy' to 'We're so in love' to 'Oh Woe Is Me'

So YANBU to be fed up of her updates!

I am fat, but my weight is the least of my worries and has nothing to do with my happiness (or lack thereof)
I'm unhealthy, which is worrying and upsetting, but if I was thin I wouldn't be very much healthier, if at all, and I certainly wouldn't be any happier unless, as well as being thin, I won the lottery and several other major things miraculously changed in my life too grin

PosyNarker Fri 23-Aug-13 23:39:09

Oh and my current BMI is 29, I can run 10k and bench press my not inconsiderable body weight grin. My chain-smoking size 8 cousin oddly can't do either of those things...

PosyNarker Fri 23-Aug-13 23:37:05

I think Suelford hit the nail on the head.

I think what a lit of people don't realise is that you can't fight a battle on multiple fronts and hope to be successful. For many fat people, that might not be their top priority to deal with. Should they be unhappy while not tackling weight if they are otherwise living or working towards the life they want? That's bizarre.

I've been fairly overweight btw (BMI 32) and also a size 6. Personally I'm not truly happy with my physique when at my heaviest but that doesn't mean I'm not generally happy / can't be happy. I prefer to be smaller but we're here for a short time, so it doesn't seem sensible to put happiness on hold or pending a smaller arse grin

AdmiralData Fri 23-Aug-13 23:29:45

coffeeslave Good for you! I can sprint when the occasion calls hehehe

coffeeslave Fri 23-Aug-13 20:50:15

I am fat and happy! And arguably healthy - I lift weights 3 x week, yoga once a week and do a conditioning class once a week. I do eat a lot but I eat a pretty balanced diet.

I realise plenty of people will think I'm not healthy, but my blood pressure & resting HR are normal, so I'm content with that.

AdmiralData Fri 23-Aug-13 20:32:14

I am fat and happy, not lying to self, sorry >:}

TheSecondComing Fri 23-Aug-13 19:46:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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