to ask you all with 2 or more children for a reality check? *lighthearted

(50 Posts)
wonderingifiam2013 Fri 23-Aug-13 13:04:27

I am currently pregnant with baby #2 and have a lively run-around-mad toddler smile

I keep reading lots of lovely, fluffy unrealistic comments from pregnant friends/acquaintances on facebook and would never burst their bubbles of watching lovely growing bump/cute clothes/looking longingly into Moses basket willing baby #1 to arrive at 39 weeks not 42+, following failed induction(s)! resulting in EMCS

So - feel free to burst my #2 hopes and dreams of:

Best friends
Playmates
Holiday companions
School pals
Teenage team
Sticker-up-against-bullies-togetherness

Are they are going to fight for years and years and years and ... ?

Are me and DH going to pull our remaining hair out on a daily basis?

Are they going to cost us a fortune!

as I gaze at baby clothes and forget the hell of night feeds/no sleep/recovering from major surgery/weeks and weeks of LOCHIA!

madmomma Fri 23-Aug-13 21:37:39

mine are 1 and 2 and adore each other but also fight like cat and dog. The first 6m were very difficult but now it's much better.

froggies Fri 23-Aug-13 21:31:51

Have 3, DS (17), DD1 (8 today) and DD2 (nearly 5).

DS says he hates his sisters, but if any one hurt them he would defend them absolutly. dD's say DS is 'annoying' (he is), but also love him to bits. But as there is such a huge age gap I wouldn't say they are friends in any way.

DD's generally get on really well, and get up to major mischief, defending each other or clyping on each other, which ever is most beneficial at the time. (unless they have spent time with Exp, in which case they usually hate each other for a couple of days until normality resumes).

I am one of 3, and would say the best way to promote good relationships between them is to never compare them, it causes such resentment. It took me and my DSis a long time to work through this, we get on well now though, she coming to stay tomorrow and I am so excited!

Most of the time mine are great (got 5), going through a bit of a rocky patch with a stroppy 15 yo and an annoying 12 yo at the moment, but most of the time they are great together. I'm one of 4 and we are all really close and would do anything for each other.

fancyanother Fri 23-Aug-13 20:39:31

My 2 boys get on really well most of the time! They are 3 years apart and for the most part get on like a house on fire-and they are both completely different personality wise and interest wise. My younger one can't wait for his brother to get back from school and has loved having him home , my older one had to be taken to see the younger ones nursery to see if it was suitable!

They do fight like mad things though at times, so it's not all sunshine and roses, especially when they are hogging the tv/toys. You also have the problem of the younger one picking up the bad habits of the older one and making it double the pain ( in my case, older fussy eater has resulted in younger one being fussy too)

capticorn1 Fri 23-Aug-13 20:27:01

My two, one girl and 1 boy, bicker, argue or fight over the smallest of things, they eat me out of house and home, cost a fortune in clothes and shoes (not designer gear) makes the house look a right mess and leave it for someone else to sort out.

Would I have it any other way, DEFINITELY NOT.

It is the smallest of things that makes all the difference, 1 is 17 the other 12, when one of them does something without being asked to like making me a coffee or loading the dishwasher or putting their own clean clothes away it makes me feel as if I haven't done such a bad job of raising them after all.

tryasimight Fri 23-Aug-13 17:03:46

DH gave my 2 breakfast this morning at 7.30 before he went to work.

I lolled in bed until TEN THIRTY because they played together happily without me for 3 hours.

They are 3 and 5.

the mess was horrendous though when I came downstairs

Mine are 17 and 16 (15 month gap)
Thick as thieves and always have been.
Hideously tough to start with, got better as they got older.
Cost an absolute fortune.
Wouldn't do it differently if I had the chance all over again grin

PicardyThird Fri 23-Aug-13 16:49:42

My two are 8 and soon to be 6 and fantastic together. They love each other, play elaborate games for hours on end (literally) and are very kind and considerate to each other. We had very little sibling jealousy at the beginning - that's increased (on both sides) as they've grown, but is still nothing at all out of the ordinary. It looks like, and I really hope it'll be this way, they have a rock-solid friendship for life.

It'll be fab. smile

My 2 are 2 years and 2 months apart & love each other. They fight & squabble but they are very mutually entertaining and now that DD2 is 2.5yo it's brilliant.

Mind you, even when they fight, they are inseparable - they can't be persuaded to go apart to play at something else for a bit & stop torturing each other.

Ezza1 Fri 23-Aug-13 16:46:05

15, 12, 3 and another due in 4 weeks.

The 12 yr old and 3 yr old bicker and fight constantly. Its mayhem here all the sodding time sad

15 yr old is out all the time. I envy him grin

BadPoet Fri 23-Aug-13 16:38:14

As others have said, a bit of both but there are times when they play happily or watch Netflix for hours and it's just fantastic. Mine aren't teenagers yet but are often all the other things on your list, apart from school pals but are always delighted when they are teamed with siblings (sports day etc) and report happily when they've run into each other at school for whatever reason.

WorrySighWorrySigh Fri 23-Aug-13 16:14:42

3 aged 17, 14 and 13. They have never fought though they have disagreed about lots of things. We have always jumped on sniping quickly (DCs say sometimes too quickly).

I wouldnt describe them as best of friends, they are siblings so too close for comfort I think.

kilmuir Fri 23-Aug-13 16:06:31

i have 4 DC. 15, 11, 7 and 5.
They are hard work. lots of washing, eat lots of food, fight quite a bit, make a reasonably tidy room a mess very quickly, BUT
they are funny, look out for each other when necessary, will play together, usually without me telling them to, and can't imagine place without them

SPBisResisting Fri 23-Aug-13 16:00:08

<bows>

I have 5, under 6.

I've found that they are very close, especially when little. They can sometimes be complete enemies, but if anyone dares look at another in a funny way, they'll be on the attack. They stick together if one is in trouble and won't admit to loving each other, but in reality are close. Not school pals though.

4yoniD Fri 23-Aug-13 15:20:16

3 years between my 2 and they have always got on well. The occasional complaint of "not peppa pig AGAIN" or "but I wanted the BLUE cup" but no arguments - just whining. They wouldn't be without each other. So far!

LynetteScavo Fri 23-Aug-13 15:12:01

Best friends?
Best freinds one minute, worst enemy the next.

Playmates?
See above.

Holiday companions?
Yes, definitely. Until they meet someone cooler than their sibling.

School pals?
You must be joking. Until one of them is really in trouble, and then the other one will defend their sibling to the death, even to the HT.

Teenage team
We've not go there yet.

Sticker-up-against-bullies-togetherness?
DS1 would threaten to kill DS2 if he took a larger slice of cake than him.
But if someone else even looked threatening towards DS2, DS1 would happily give his life for his brother.

So basically they spend their time annoying each other, kicking each other in the back of the car. Saying they can't wear something because their sibling touched it once. But deep down they do, really, really love each other.

Allegrogirl Fri 23-Aug-13 15:11:00

I have DDs aged 5.10 and 3 next week. DD1 was indifferent but not jealous for the first 6 months (as long as I ensured DD2 never cried which explains why she is totally spoilt now). From 6 months when DD2 learnt to crawl they became allies in the battle to drive us completely up the wall. They adore each other and play together a lot. They cause anarchy and hug and kiss in the cutest way when being jointly told off (mummy, I know we destroyed the house but we were playing nicely together).

Sometimes easier than having one, at other times 4x as difficult. On balance just wonderful.

forevergreek Fri 23-Aug-13 15:09:12

In terms of stuff having x2 has seemed cheaper than one as better value smile ie a winter coat will last each one a year or two so can get 3/4 years wear out of one item making it good value. ( but this mainly works with x2 same gender close in age)

Andro Fri 23-Aug-13 15:03:38

Best friends - they could love each other or hate each other
Playmates - see above! Plus they may have very different interests
Holiday companions - As above
School pals - they'll be in different years, so different friends probably
Teenage team - depends where they are in the love/hate sequence
Sticker-up-against-bullies-togetherness - The eldest could easily be running with the bullies or think that they had to fight their own battles and so should their sibling.

Bottom line, expect anarchy and you're unlikely to be disappointed...but you may be pleasantly surprised on occasion.

thebody Fri 23-Aug-13 15:01:24

they will cost you a fortune and get more expensive every year until they go to uni and cost even more.

you will then have a few years respite from them bar the occasional visit to dump dirty clothes and empty your fridge and ' borrow'money

they will then get a degree and move back in as they can't afford to get on the housing ladder.

you will find great solace in wine by the way from the terrible twos onwards which is an enduring crutch through the teen years and beyond.

happy happy days.😃

Lilicat1013 Fri 23-Aug-13 14:52:56

I have two little boys my older son is 3 years 4 months and autistic with a severe speech and language delay. My younger son is six months old.

Initially my older son was terrified of my younger one, he went nuts when he cried and tried to hurt him. His behaviour deteriorated rapidly and we were not able to leave the flat because I couldn't take them both out.

Things have gotten better, I found something my older son liked about the baby, he liked to watch me give him a bath. He thinks splashing is funny and the baby does lots of splashing. He would lean over the side of the bath bath and say 'hi baby' which was the first time he acknowledged his little brother was a person.

Now the baby is six months old things have gotten better, he has touched him little brother (in a gentle way) for the first time and tried to say his name. I think he accepts him. The baby is starting to develop a personality of his own and is already fascinated by his big brother.

The summer holidays have been hell and I will never ever consider having more children due to how thing have been but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think one day they will be friends, I hope so any way.

MyNameIsLola Fri 23-Aug-13 14:33:39

I have 4 aged 11, 9, 2 and 4 weeks. TBH if we all make it through the day fed and without serious injury, I consider it a huge success.

Yes they will fight, tease, drive you mad. There will be days when you seriously consider booking yourself into a hotel for a week so you can sleep, there will be times when you wish you'd locked the chastity belt and thrown away the key.

But, sometimes you'll see them all playing together, caring for each other, there may even be the odd occasion when they actually demonstrate affection to one another, and nothing in life will ever come close to how proud you feel during those moments or how much your heart fills.

sleepywombat Fri 23-Aug-13 14:30:54

Mine are 3 & 19 months (20 month gap). They are so adorable together that it makes me cry! It is much easier than having 1 dc (at the moment anyway) because I can get on with cooking, cleaning etc whilst they play.

Ds1 starts kindy next year & has asked if his brother can come with him!

We had some awfulness in the first few months after ds2's birth, but that is because he had a lot of health problems, so it was a very stressful time for all (shrieking 24/7, no sleep, a lot of crying mummy etc). I felt very sad for ds1. I think if ds2'd been an easier/healthier baby, it would've been a doddle!

hottea7 Fri 23-Aug-13 14:30:16

Congratulations! I have 6 all 11 and under and 4 of them are girls smile they fight scream threaten each other with desth daily but they secretly adore each other, it is so exhausting at times but I love it and wondering if we have space for lucky no 7 x

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