uninvited to wedding

(83 Posts)
treesntrees Thu 22-Aug-13 18:32:14

am I being unreasonable to be upset that son and daughter in law have been un-invited to cousin's wedding because they were late RSPBing due to difficulties in arranging child care for child free wedding?

MintyChops Fri 23-Aug-13 10:00:12

Well in that case YANBU to be upset and I admire you for restraining yourself from saying anything. It would probably cause a family rift if you did but equally, try not to let it fester for you and cause you more upset.

MotherofDragons82 Fri 23-Aug-13 10:55:56

I'm another one who only sent out invitations about six weeks before the wedding. We only booked the venue 12 weeks before. So six weeks before, for finalising things, seems very early to me (and a bit barmy).

Did you get married recently mother? We booked ours a year ahead and some venues were already taken, as was our top choice of photographer (wedding is in 3 weeks)

mylittlesunshine Fri 23-Aug-13 11:15:19

I think with timings etc venues really differ... We had to pay our final bill 6 weeks before but didn't have to give specific dietary requirements until 2 weeks before, because we were paying the bill we needed numbers of confirmed guests 6 weeks before. We had one family of 4 confirm by the correct date only to cancel on us 3 days after we paid the final bill which was annoying. We had 2 more who said yes very early on and cancelled 7 days before the wedding and 2 who said they needed to check if they could get time off and were working on it, I had to ask them 3 times if I should confirm without them as it was now cut off date and eventually she said they couldn't come as she was struggling to get it off only to come back 2 days later to say they could now come!

I wanted to scream, cry and elope all at once!

I think your son should contact the B&G, apologise for not being able to sort out childcare more quickly and say it is probably better if they don't attend. Truthfully distant(ish) family are not likely to be top of B&G's wanted list at a wedding.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Fri 23-Aug-13 11:38:03

I think it's absolutely fair enough! Won't they get to just the evening now or are they being deleted from the acknowledgment if the bride and groom for the rest of time? That would be a bit ott.

Trills Fri 23-Aug-13 11:42:15

YABU to be "upset" about other people and whether they are invited to a wedding or not.

firesidechat Fri 23-Aug-13 12:28:47

I've just received an invitation which gave us less than 10 days to RSVP and the RSVP date was a whole 4 months before the wedding! That did seem a bit odd, but maybe they had their reasons too.

My daughter sent her invites out about 5 months before the wedding and the RSVP date was a month before. They had to finalise numbers with the caterers 2 weeks before the wedding and they allowed a couple of extra weeks for the stragglers. Someone cancelled the day before the wedding and that was two uneaten meals that we had to pay for.

An RSVP 6 weeks prior to the wedding doesn't seem too bad.

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