AIBU thinking about complaining about a Barclays staff members comments?

(135 Posts)
manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:26:36

Im usually really pleased with the service I get from Barclays and my children have always been welcomed there but today I found myself wanting the punch the woman on the other side of the counter.

I only went in to deposit a cheque and withdraw cash and don't usually do chit chat but she stood up to look at my baby over the counter... this is where the fun starts...

First she said: 'Is that your little girl?' ... to which I replied 'No its my boy' smiling... her reply back 'I can only see blue and cream which can be either' and sat back down.. When i worked in retail when I was just out of school I would always say (if I wanted chit chat about babies) I always said something along the lines of 'Your baby's gorgeous' or 'How old's your baby?' so I didn't get the gender wrong. He's 4 months old too btw, its not as though he's newborn.

She then want on to say 'your first?', my reply 'no he's my second, my eldest will be 3 in October'... her reply 'you don't look old enough to have two kids'... I was livid! I just smiled and said 'Well i'm 24 this Saturday'...to which she repeated.. 'Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children'. She didn't say it in a 'oh you look young for your age' kind of way, she said it in a 'you shouldn't have two kids at your age, you probably don't know who their fathers are' kind of way. And the way she looked at me... like I was dirt. She went on to tell me that she has ONE son who is 7 years old, he's current at his grandmothers because his dad is a teacher and has had to go into school during the holidays... again said in a snotty way. What I should've said was 'oh well my CHILDREN..yes both of my children have the same father... is an IT consultant for a global company'.

By all means, I think myself I do look younger than 24 but I do not expect professional staff to make such comments, especially when they're said in such a snobbish, rude manner.

Salmotrutta Thu 22-Aug-13 14:29:36

You are massively over-reacting and reading way too much into this.

I don't really see anything wrong in what she said! hmm

She didn't say anything of the sort confused

You're interpreting a look.

It sounds defensive and you have no reason to be.

mynameisslimshady Thu 22-Aug-13 14:30:14

Sounds like normal chit chat to me.

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:32:19

If you complain you will look like somebody with huge ishoos. She was passing the time of day, and making small talk.

MissOtisRegretsMadam Thu 22-Aug-13 14:35:11

I love it when people tell me I don't look old enough to have a 9 year old... Even said in a snooty way id lap it up. In fact my dream is that when dd gets to around 18 people will mistake us for sisters... Yes and we will go clubbing together and I will wear leather trousers and get chatted up by the same bloke! grin

Anyway... Yabu and totally over reacting... What would be the basis of the complaint?

manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:35:32

Yes the original questions were the usual 'chit chat' but the responses were said in a rude manner, thats my issue.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Aug-13 14:35:55

Is this a wind up?! grin

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:37:37

Oh, the rude manner. Well difficult to say without witnessing it. Still sounds like you are overthinking it TBH. If it really bothers you, vote with your feet and transfer your account?

IAmNotAMindReader Thu 22-Aug-13 14:38:38

She was making small talk with the added distraction of concentrating on inputting the correct data. So that would have made her tone sound off. Would you rather she gushed over you and fucked up your transaction?

YABU and over-reacting. With the defensive stance you have taken you may well have jumped to conclusions.

Sirzy Thu 22-Aug-13 14:39:05

Sounds like your looking for a problem IMO. She was making conversation.

WTAF. You have her tried and found guilty already!

You are way over thinking this.

mynameisslimshady Thu 22-Aug-13 14:40:51

What are you going to say in your complaint? The conversation was polite enough but there was just something about her tone you didn't like? confused

usualsuspect Thu 22-Aug-13 14:41:04

Oh give over.

DuelingFanjo Thu 22-Aug-13 14:41:24

wow - talk about a massive over-reaction. I am sure this thread will run and run though.

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:41:36

what sort of compensation would be appropriate in this case do you think?

Actually, I have changed my mind. You should make a formal complaint today, and escalate it to the Ombudsman if required. Please let us help you to draft it though.

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 22-Aug-13 14:42:11

Perhaps - but no, nae bother.

I am sorry the hoity toity laydee got on your pip, agree you should change banks forwith without delay.

AnneUulmelmahay Thu 22-Aug-13 14:43:44

And yep we will totes help with drafting and honing letters.

Wowserz129 Thu 22-Aug-13 14:45:50

Sounds like you are letting your own insecurities override what was said here as it all sounds normal to me! I doubt very much the lady in the bank would be handing out insults to customers she doesn't know about children and fathers etc... blush

manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:46:00

And i'm the one who's over reacting... Wow.

You sound like your overreacting to be honest. Those are all things I've said to others or had said to me with no intention other than a compliment or making small talk.

LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi Thu 22-Aug-13 14:47:38

You sound as if you think there's something insulting about a baby girl being mistaken for a boy. confused

To be fair, though, I don't think you are being completely unreasonable to think it was rude of her to keep pushing the point about your age - it's nasty and judgy.

Not something I think I would complain about, but I get why you're fed up.

Kaekae Thu 22-Aug-13 14:47:42

You sound highly strung, sorry but you seem to be putting words in to the poor woman's mouth! Get a grip!

KellyElly Thu 22-Aug-13 14:47:46

'Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children'. She didn't say it in a 'oh you look young for your age' kind of way, she said it in a 'you shouldn't have two kids at your age, you probably don't know who their fathers are' kind of way. You sound a bit paranoid tbh OP.

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