Hi, I already posted in larger families but didn't get many replies though the ones I got were helpful. So I have decided to post here as I know this board is busier.
I am having a terrible dilemma having just found out I am pregnant with my third (unplanned) child. We have two dcs aged 2 and 4. My partner in particular has found having young children hard and we nearly split up after the secondt. He is an academic, very driven and career focused and I know he feels the chaos of young children, lack of sleep and time has held him back, which it probably has. I also work part time but am more established in my career and I do the bulk of the childcare ( he works long days and always does some at weekends though I know even then he feels it is not enough). That said he is a very loving and good father to our dcs.
When I first found I was pregnant he was adamant it couldn't go ahead and I agreed and booked an appointment to talk about termination. Howewver sybswquently he has said he feels uncomfortable about making this decision having looked up stages of foetal development. He has said it is up to me to decide and he will support my decision. I personally have never been in favour of abortion except in extreme circumstances and really do not know if I cam physically go through with it. However I am worried another child will be a disaster financially and in terms if our relationship. I have worked out the short term finances and could just about afford childcare (an extra 600 a month so a lot) but then I worry about the longer term effects on other dc, paying for 3 at university (our income at moment is 80000 so not poor but by no means rich either). I made a list if pros and cons, the cons far outweighing the pros but when I showed it to my partner he was really upset and said it was meaningless to weigh all this up against a life. I have read the baby is the size of a lentil (5 weeks) but uncomfortably it seems like a life to me too and I feel vert squeamish about getting rid of it.
If you have managed to read all this thanks. I would love to hear from anyone especially anyone who can relate to any aspect of this.
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66 replies
evalluna · 21/08/2013 06:04
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TVTonight ·
21/08/2013 08:49
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