To disagree with swimming teacher over girls having top half on show

(138 Posts)
Charlottehere Fri 16-Aug-13 19:00:56

I don't think I am. Dd, age 4 has just had her weekly swimming lesson. I couldn't find her swimming costume so put her 8 year old sister's on her. The costume was obviously big and hung down on her so one nipple was exposed. Shock.

While dd was in her lesson, a member of the admin staff called me into the office. I was told that female swimming teacher was worried that the male teacher would be embarrassed and it wasn't fair that dd swimming costume was too big and could I make sure she had one that fit next time.

I told him I thought that was ridiculous and have no issue with a 4 year old being uncovered at a swimming pool.

What do you think?

Emilythornesbff Mon 19-Aug-13 13:02:59

Children need to be protected from (alarmingly common) abuse and ts should be protected from (extraordinarily rare) false "accusations"
The scenario described in the op does neither.

Ilovegeorgeclooney Mon 19-Aug-13 13:03:25

All the staff did was ask the OP to make sure her child was in correctly fitting clothes next time. If the child was embarrassed it would only be because she was trying to swim in a costume that was too big.

Emilythornesbff Mon 19-Aug-13 13:07:29

I have read nowhere that the OP wishes her dd to continue wearing an ill fitting swimsuit. I assume the correct size will be found / bought before the next lesson.
I doubt the child was embarrassed. But the op might well have been and if someone had suggested to the parent of a 4 yo that I would be embarrassed to see her nipples I would have been livid that they had made such a ridiculous and potentially inflammatory suggestion.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 19-Aug-13 13:18:34

ICBINEG
I can only hope then that you are never in a situation where a child maybe put at risk through the actions of people that "know better" than those that are safeguarding children.

ICBINEG Mon 19-Aug-13 13:26:04

boney err right...whatever. You don't think that people taking photos at home or birthday parties or in towns equally put these children at risk?

I would imagine that since these 'rules' came in there will be less and less school sports day pictures online...but not zero. So if your at risk child does get snapped they will be far far easier to find than before. Or in other words unless you can eliminate the risk of a random photo being taken, you may as well let everyone get on with it and leave the bad guys with billions of pictures to search through.

Of course if you have some evidence that the number of instances of children being found in this way has actually been reduced by this policy then post a link and I will take it all back.

ICBINEG Mon 19-Aug-13 13:29:13

Why don't people care if interventions and rules are actually effective?

People care more about being seen to be 'helping' than if they are actually 'helping' at all confused

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 19-Aug-13 14:00:45

The intervention ICEBERG is more relevant since the social media came in to play, your picture of mini iceberg on facebook could be avaiulable to everyone and anyone.

Its all about calculated risks, would you want someone to be able to take pictures of mini iceberg if there was a chance that an ex partner could kidnap him/her?

Do you know how many LAC are in your children's school?
Or parents in refuges?
Or children that in foster homes?
Or children that are in care homes?
Or have a parent with a restraining order on them?

Gonnabmummy Mon 19-Aug-13 14:15:54

Yanbu
At this age there is no difference between girl and boy chests. It won't have been that long ago she was just in a nappy in the pool.
As for people comparing it to boys with no pants that is nothing like it.

I understand safeguarding rules are strict and people may be scared of being accused but its certain situations this may or may not happen. A little girl in the pool doesn't pose a threat IMO.
He hasn't exposed the child or taken her to the loo/out of sight. Where someone may feel worried.
OP I can understand how you feel I would feel the exact same. I would just breathe and remember it was a one off dd being in that and next time it'll be fine, even if nothing was wrong!

BoffinMum Mon 19-Aug-13 16:36:33

BoneyBack, schools usually ask people not to post pictures of other people's children up on the internet in such situations. That's more rational and sensible than completely depriving looked after children and their classmates of recording their social histories with a photo, on the off-chance someone's ex partner will decide to break the law.

(And before you kick off, I have worked with looked after children, children involved in custody disputes, domestic abuse cases, etc).

The Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) has provided guidance on photography in schools, if anyone is interested.

ICO guidance

jacks365 Mon 19-Aug-13 16:44:48

Boffin that link is solely about data protection and nothing to do with safe guarding vulnerable children.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 19-Aug-13 17:40:58

"And before you kick off," LOL

Most schools will find away around the issue, I have taken multiple pictures with and without children so that the school has a nice photo for the website, letter and pupils have a record of fun times with mates.

Any school policy is based on risk, this is why when we have its time for the nativity there is always a "why can't I take pictures of my children" thread

Ilovemyself Mon 19-Aug-13 19:06:18

Emilythornesbff. You cannot say that asking the girl to cover up will not protect the people at the pool. By asking to cover up they are ensuring that no adult can complain that nothing was done to cover up the child in question and they are also ensuring that no one can suggest any impropriety on the part of the staff. Just because they are in full view it doesn't mean some one will make an allegation - no matter how small or spurious.

Emilythornesbff Mon 19-Aug-13 19:49:05

I disagree ilovemyself and I would be very surprised if their safeguarding policiy state that a 4 yo girl should have her nipples covered.
In fact, I can be pretty certain that it says no such thing.

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