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Too still feel down about this....

(35 Posts)

Saw my family at the weekend with my 2 beautiful children, the youngest being 9 weeks.
After 3 miscarriages between my children, when I did fall pregnant with dc2 I stopped all exercise out of fear and admittedly ate too much. After his birth I was 4 stone overweight. As soon as he was born I have eaten really healthy and walked loads, etc. That combined with ebf I have lost 2st2lbs so far.
When I arrived one of the first comments I got was, 'ohhh you really need to start thinking about shifting that baby weight, it doesn't suit you.' When I said actually it was going fast and I was shifting a consistent 3 lbs per week, the response was 'really? doesn't look like it - but when people are really big I don't think weight loss shows.'
Then she picked up dc2 who is a big baby above the 99.6th percentile and said 'oh your a big chap, watch out you don't turn out like your mummy.'

I've had eating and body image issues in the past and am really trying to shift this weight. At the same time I don't want to get silly about it. Just made me feel really down and sad, especially th comment about dc2, he is 9 weeks old for gods sake!!!
Still feel really crap about it and dreading next family get together!

vtechjazz Thu 08-Aug-13 15:50:22

You "how do you spell 'insensitive cunt?"
Them "why"
You "when I'm writing my diary tonight I want to include this conversation. I know how to spell your name though."

Sparklysilversequins Thu 08-Aug-13 14:06:16

The ONLY answer to that is "oh STFU!"

When I was around 5 months pregnant my in laws came to visit and there was much talk of how much weight MIL had lost. She said "yes I have given it all to Sparkly" and it wasn't said in a nice or jokey way.

My own father said "OMG you're looking beefy!" Again at around 6 months pregnant. I lost all my pregnancy weight however he has grown steadily larger as the years have gone on. I am FAR too polite to say anything though.

I genuinely don't think this person meant to be so awful though, I think it was her way of encouraging me to lose weight and thinking I needed to. She has never been diplomatic with words but not normally intentionally really nasty.
I am more annoyed at myself for letting it get to me so much and still feeling down about it. I was feeling really good, felt like I was cracking the challenge of having baby and toddler, felt confident in myself, pleased I have managed to bf successfully, etc, and it just feels like that bubble was totally burst by a few silly comments, and suddenly I feel like a failure. Maybe still too many hormones kicking round!

MidniteScribbler Thu 08-Aug-13 11:30:13

One thing I have learnt in life..... Some people are just complete and utter fuckwits. There's no excuse for them.

formicadinosaur Thu 08-Aug-13 11:09:27

She's basically kicked you when you are down. No one in their right mind would say something like that particularly to a vulnerable mum with a very young baby. It's not like your baby is 2 or 3 years

MammaTJ Thu 08-Aug-13 10:03:17

Congratulations!

To be even thinking about losing weight when you have a 9 week old is doing well! To have lost so much already is amazing!

You are losing weight at a good rate! One you will hopefully be able to stick at! They were very rude!

LemonBreeland Thu 08-Aug-13 10:03:15

That is incredibly rude. Please try not to let it get you down.

You have done absolutely amazingly. I didn't start to lose any baby weight until DS2 was 6 months old. YOu have lost a huge amount in 9 weeks. With DD (DC3), I didn't lose anything until I stopped bfing at 15 months. You are doing brilliantly.

cocolepew United States Thu 08-Aug-13 09:59:15

That's not blunt that's being rude and nasty just for the sake of it. I wouldnt have let it go myself, but I'm a
bit mouthy grin Congratulations on your new baby and your weight loss smile

pombal Thu 08-Aug-13 09:58:41

You've lost loads of weight.
My youngest is 3 and I'm still not down to my pre- pregnancy weight!!!

I'm angry on your behalf. This person sounds like they're envious of you or insecure and that's why they've been so rude.

Please tell them to fuck the fuck off, they mightily deserve it.

Your baby is tiny, why should you even waste one second of your life worrying about your weight at this point in time.

jammiedonut Thu 08-Aug-13 09:53:42

It's not bluntness, it's outright rudeness, and so wrong to pressure you after only 9 weeks. Congratulations on the baby and fantastic weight loss. I put on 3 stone (from 9 1/2 to 12 1/2) and am in no rush to shift the 2 stone left after ds vacated! Your body is still repairing itself fgs, give yourself a pat on the back for doing so well already, I'm in awe!

Crinkle77 Thu 08-Aug-13 09:42:22

Who ever said that was a complete t**t. They are probbaly just jealous of your lovely little family

Thanks all and for all the lovely comments. My family are lovely but very, very blunt!!
I have taken photos of myself at start of weight loss and each few weeks to keep myself motivated and I know there is a huge difference! Just really gets me down. Prior to this I was keeping an eye on the weightloss but was just letting it happen through doing things I enjoyed and was enjoying making healthy meals etc. Then this week I have weighed myself every day getting obsessed if the scales don't go down each day (which again is silly!).
Going to let it go and remind myself 9 weeks ago I was giving birth and have two beautiful children to enjoy. I know the weight is coming off and that's all that matters!

Caboodle Wed 07-Aug-13 23:29:03

Congratulations on the birth of your baby and congratulations on your weight loss (which really is quite fast - well done - wish I had managed that...took me bloody ages).
Why would somebody say such a rude and hurtful thing to another person? This is just beyond me - ignore them, put on your lovely (skinny) clothes that you fit into so soon after giving birth, smile and....move on.

StrangeGlue Wed 07-Aug-13 22:31:09

Your baby is 9 weeks old and you've lost loads of weight in a really sensible way. I'm so impressed! At 9 weeks I was still wandering into doors and talking to myself and crying!

That person must have been jealous and bitter surely. There is no way that 2 stone lost doesn't show - you must look so different.

And saying that to a baby is just vile.

What a fucking rude Bitch with a capital B.

I'm overweight too with no recent babies as a good reason and comments can be so hurtful. My mum used to be like this and could never understand why I would get so upset.

Congratulations on your bundle of joy. Ignore the idiots.

lastnightidreamt Wed 07-Aug-13 22:21:18

Seriously, who on earth would think it was acceptable to say any of these things.........it never ceases to amaze me!

lastnightidreamt Wed 07-Aug-13 22:18:49

Totally rude and unnecessary.

Congratulations on your baby and your great weight loss so far. ( You don't even need to be thinking about this though!!)

Plus there is absolutely nothing wrong with a ebf baby being high up on the centiles early on - all mine have been, and are now like rakes!

Ignore her, and knock 'em dead at the next family get-together.

Saffyz Wed 07-Aug-13 22:10:28

YANBU. How rude and uncalled for. Do they normally come out with put-downs?

I think I'd say "if you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Wed 07-Aug-13 22:07:44

Agree with the Rude Fucker comment. The person that said this is scum.

Daddoinghisbest Wed 07-Aug-13 22:05:27

I saw something on FB - Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what. Forget these comments from these poor insensitive fools. You're truly to be admired. You're doing so well. Stay strong and be with people who are good for you.

Firebomb Wed 07-Aug-13 22:03:54

I love everyone's creative way of swearing LMAO. I absolutely agree with everyone. You're losing weight at an incredible pace!

I gained, I think, around 2 stone while I was pregnant (115lb to 143lb American). My DS is 5 months and I am still around 123lb (almost 9 stone I think). I breastfed for awhile until I couldn't anymore and that helped with weight loss as well as constant walking in the beginning.

Obviously this rudeass needed to put you down in order to feel proper about their own body, otherwise why bring it up? It's never appropriate to discuss someone's weight unless it's to tell them how gorgeous they look! Otherwise NO COMMENTS! ignore ignore ignore. Seriously. I think new mums wear any weight well anyway. At least you're not using 'new mum' as an excuse to keep eating loads and loads of food and putting on weight instead of losing it!

WandaDoff Wed 07-Aug-13 22:02:51

Your baby is 9 weeks old & you've already lost more than 2st

You are doing fantastically well.

Whoever said that is saying it to fuck with you, ignore them.

Who said it? DSis? SIL? Tell them to fuck off anyway.

wilkos Wed 07-Aug-13 21:54:29

shock what is with some people! Ignore ignore ignore.

Congratulations on your baby and your very impressive weight loss thanks 3lbs a week is amazing!

zatyaballerina Wed 07-Aug-13 21:51:54

Your baby is only nine weeks ffs, you're doing really well. Whoever said this to you was an obnoxious cunt, these types always show their true colours when you're at your most vulnerable and not up to fighting back. Keep going as you are and when you see obnoxious cunt again, point out her worst physical failing; your eyebags are enormous you can get them removed you know, god you've gotten wrinkly, you're getting jowls..... make her feel as shit as she made you feel.

Catnap26 Wed 07-Aug-13 21:50:42

Just read this post and count leave without saying a huge congratulations to you on such an outstanding weight loss with such a young baby.please be proud of yourself smile

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