Too still feel down about this....

(35 Posts)

Saw my family at the weekend with my 2 beautiful children, the youngest being 9 weeks.
After 3 miscarriages between my children, when I did fall pregnant with dc2 I stopped all exercise out of fear and admittedly ate too much. After his birth I was 4 stone overweight. As soon as he was born I have eaten really healthy and walked loads, etc. That combined with ebf I have lost 2st2lbs so far.
When I arrived one of the first comments I got was, 'ohhh you really need to start thinking about shifting that baby weight, it doesn't suit you.' When I said actually it was going fast and I was shifting a consistent 3 lbs per week, the response was 'really? doesn't look like it - but when people are really big I don't think weight loss shows.'
Then she picked up dc2 who is a big baby above the 99.6th percentile and said 'oh your a big chap, watch out you don't turn out like your mummy.'

I've had eating and body image issues in the past and am really trying to shift this weight. At the same time I don't want to get silly about it. Just made me feel really down and sad, especially th comment about dc2, he is 9 weeks old for gods sake!!!
Still feel really crap about it and dreading next family get together!

jammiedonut Thu 08-Aug-13 09:53:42

It's not bluntness, it's outright rudeness, and so wrong to pressure you after only 9 weeks. Congratulations on the baby and fantastic weight loss. I put on 3 stone (from 9 1/2 to 12 1/2) and am in no rush to shift the 2 stone left after ds vacated! Your body is still repairing itself fgs, give yourself a pat on the back for doing so well already, I'm in awe!

pombal Thu 08-Aug-13 09:58:41

You've lost loads of weight.
My youngest is 3 and I'm still not down to my pre- pregnancy weight!!!

I'm angry on your behalf. This person sounds like they're envious of you or insecure and that's why they've been so rude.

Please tell them to fuck the fuck off, they mightily deserve it.

Your baby is tiny, why should you even waste one second of your life worrying about your weight at this point in time.

cocolepew Thu 08-Aug-13 09:59:15

That's not blunt that's being rude and nasty just for the sake of it. I wouldnt have let it go myself, but I'm a
bit mouthy grin Congratulations on your new baby and your weight loss smile

LemonBreeland Thu 08-Aug-13 10:03:15

That is incredibly rude. Please try not to let it get you down.

You have done absolutely amazingly. I didn't start to lose any baby weight until DS2 was 6 months old. YOu have lost a huge amount in 9 weeks. With DD (DC3), I didn't lose anything until I stopped bfing at 15 months. You are doing brilliantly.

MammaTJ Thu 08-Aug-13 10:03:17

Congratulations!

To be even thinking about losing weight when you have a 9 week old is doing well! To have lost so much already is amazing!

You are losing weight at a good rate! One you will hopefully be able to stick at! They were very rude!

formicadinosaur Thu 08-Aug-13 11:09:27

She's basically kicked you when you are down. No one in their right mind would say something like that particularly to a vulnerable mum with a very young baby. It's not like your baby is 2 or 3 years

MidniteScribbler Thu 08-Aug-13 11:30:13

One thing I have learnt in life..... Some people are just complete and utter fuckwits. There's no excuse for them.

I genuinely don't think this person meant to be so awful though, I think it was her way of encouraging me to lose weight and thinking I needed to. She has never been diplomatic with words but not normally intentionally really nasty.
I am more annoyed at myself for letting it get to me so much and still feeling down about it. I was feeling really good, felt like I was cracking the challenge of having baby and toddler, felt confident in myself, pleased I have managed to bf successfully, etc, and it just feels like that bubble was totally burst by a few silly comments, and suddenly I feel like a failure. Maybe still too many hormones kicking round!

Sparklysilversequins Thu 08-Aug-13 14:06:16

The ONLY answer to that is "oh STFU!"

When I was around 5 months pregnant my in laws came to visit and there was much talk of how much weight MIL had lost. She said "yes I have given it all to Sparkly" and it wasn't said in a nice or jokey way.

My own father said "OMG you're looking beefy!" Again at around 6 months pregnant. I lost all my pregnancy weight however he has grown steadily larger as the years have gone on. I am FAR too polite to say anything though.

vtechjazz Thu 08-Aug-13 15:50:22

You "how do you spell 'insensitive cunt?"
Them "why"
You "when I'm writing my diary tonight I want to include this conversation. I know how to spell your name though."

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