To think this woman will probably never speak to me again?

(48 Posts)
Threewhiskeys Wed 07-Aug-13 19:52:04

Dd is 3.6 and has a good friend at pre school.

The little girls mother obviously has a good career and is middle class. Im only saying this as it adds to how I'm feeling right now.

Im working class and I also do not have many friends and I'm awkward and shy. I have no self esteem.

Ive often thought about plucking up the courage to talk to this lady but have never had the confidence. Anyway, yesterday as we were collecting from pre school, our two daughters were playing and she started talking to me. Basically how her daughter is always mentioning mine etc. We had a bit of a natter and said goodbye.

Whilst they were getting in to their car my dd started really playing up, not listening and running off. I went to get her and she ran really fast towards a road. I had to bolt after her leaving my other toddler screaming in her pushchair!

I caught up with dd and then she sat on the floor wouldn't move etc. I looked like a real twat. As I dragged her to her feet this other lady drove past.

To make matters worse we popped in to the shop on the way home and both dds were still whinging , whining and not listening. And who happened to be there?! This lady and her well behaved child.

Im so annoyed at dd. I know she's only 3 but I feel like that lady will have crossed out any ideas of a play date after seeing today's spectacle.
I feel so sad and pissed off. AIBU?

Lagoonablue Wed 07-Aug-13 19:53:46

Am sure her child has tantrums and misbehaves too. Don't worry about it. Just be friendly and see what happens.

flossy101 Wed 07-Aug-13 19:54:56

She probably didn't give it a second thought. Whenever I see a child misbehaving I just think "thank god it's not just me".

Peacocklady Wed 07-Aug-13 19:55:05

Don't worry! All kids do stuff like that and you can talk about it next time!

Tailtwister Wed 07-Aug-13 19:55:11

If she doesn't speak to you based on this once incident then she's not worth your time. There's not a child I know of who hasn't behaved badly at some point or another and her daughter will be no exception.

I'm sure she was just glad her dd was behaving at the moment in time.

Naysa Wed 07-Aug-13 19:55:29

Completely disregarding class here, but if this woman chose to not speak to you because your 3 YO was playing up after preschool is she the type who you want to be friends with.

Would you feel any different if she was working class?

IfYouLeaveMeNow Wed 07-Aug-13 19:55:51

This has happened to us all - her daughter will have played up at somepoint - you can be sure. I'm sure she did not think badly of you at all - more likely relieved it wasn't her! If she did judge you, she is not worth being friends with! Speak again, make a play date and get to know each other better.

ediblewoman Wed 07-Aug-13 19:55:57

Yes, you are totally BU! We've all had those days middle class, working class any class. She has, presumably, seen you picking up and collecting on other days so knows a little of you anyway. But honestly even if it was the first time she met you she won't have been judging you.

WorraLiberty Wed 07-Aug-13 19:57:15

Stop putting people on pedestals

It's really silly

No wonder you lack confidence if you think other people are better than you and your family.

catinabox Wed 07-Aug-13 19:57:41

You don't have to worry about how this woman view you. If she thinks negatively of you because of that or because of the class thing then she is not worth knowing.

Let her get to know you and your DD. I am sure she has has moments with her DD too. If in doubt 'smile and laugh, smile and laugh' Some one said that to me once and i know it's stupid but it bloody works!!

phantomnamechanger Wed 07-Aug-13 19:58:00

if she is going to judge you or your DD based on one afternoon, she really is very shallow and not worth worrying over!

Kids play up, she knows that.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Wed 07-Aug-13 20:17:57

I'm middle class and have a good career. Until 10 weeks ago I only had one (fairly) well behaved 3 year old.

I have still been the mother carrying her out of soft play screaming and kicking.

It happens to us all!

NapaCab Wed 07-Aug-13 20:20:51

Kids do have a way of mortifying you at the one moment when you need them to behave!

if she is a normal mother like the rest of us, she won't pay any heed to your DCs' tantrums as I'm sure her DD does it too. If she is worth getting to know, she won't care what you do for a living or where you're from. So I wouldn't let it intimidate you, just keep chatting to her and being friendly.

I do hate public scenes with my toddler as well though, it's always just when you want them to stay quiet!

SofiaVagueara Wed 07-Aug-13 20:24:47

Even Prince George will have tantrums. Fact.

Salmotrutta Wed 07-Aug-13 20:26:25

I'm always banging on about this but I don't believe in "class".

We are all just people - some with more money or different careers or jobs.

Don't sell yourself short OP and yes, her child will undoubtedly have behaved like that at some point!

Coconutty Wed 07-Aug-13 20:28:14

Of course she'll speak to you again. All kids do this sort of thing at sometime.

namechangesforthehardstuff Wed 07-Aug-13 20:29:53

I'm middle class and have a good career. I am also the first person in my family to get beyond GCSE level at school. Don't judge a book by its cover.

MrsLouisTheroux Wed 07-Aug-13 20:31:09

Don't think of people as being above you. They are not. It doesnt matter how much money they have or what lind of house they live in. You are her equal and are just as worth talking to as every other Mum.
If anyone ever thinks otherwise, they have a problem and you should avoid them.

Serialdrinker Wed 07-Aug-13 20:32:36

I didn't experience the terrible 2's I am however emerging from the fecking awful 3's! Like others have said if she doesn't like you because you shouted to stop your child running into traffic and were then seen strugling round a shop with your NORMAL child then you don't want to friends with her!

Salmotrutta Wed 07-Aug-13 20:37:41

Hear, hear MrsLouisTheroux - all this class crap does my head in.

How can you "classify" people based on career/income etc. hmm.

itsallaboutyoubaby Wed 07-Aug-13 20:39:09

I don't get why you were embarassed? Why did it embarass you? [CONFUSED]

Spartacus101 Wed 07-Aug-13 20:40:32

Where are you based op? I'm sure there are lots of us around of all different classes grin with (at times) badly behaved 3 year olds who'd have a coffee with you.

The mothers not the 3 year olds grin

colleysmill Wed 07-Aug-13 20:40:44

when I used to play a lot of netball in my younger days we had a saying that the weather was a great leveller. I find that children are also the same.

I really wouldn't worry - we've all been there! smile

itsallaboutyoubaby Wed 07-Aug-13 20:41:54

"after seeing today's spectacle"

In the nicest possible way I doubt anyone noticed or remotely care. You think you were a spectacle? You sound a bit self absorbed, sorry.

Wuxiapian Wed 07-Aug-13 20:42:27

You need to work on your esteem. That's all.

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