To tell my HV I will NOT restrict DS's food intake

(129 Posts)
thefuturesnotourstosee Wed 07-Aug-13 17:05:14

we've just come home from DS's one year HV check. DS has alwiays been a big baby and today he measured the 99th centile for both weight and height.

HV told me he was overweight and I should restrict his food intake. I told her I wanted to talk to the GP about this as I disagreed with her and she told me "he should be no higher than the 80th centile, you're clearly overfeeding him its obvious you don't need the doctor to tell you that".

I politely told her Id seek a second opinion scooped up DS and walked out.

Had his weight and height been substantially out of proportion I may have engaged but I don't think there's a problem. AIBU?

rainbowfeet Wed 07-Aug-13 17:38:31

Ignore her!!

I panicked a little when ds shot up to the 75th centile (I am overweight & kind of sensitive about my dc's following me) blush but HV said not to worry & that's what the centiles are there for.. Babies & toddlers weight will go up & down within those lines depending on lots of factors.. & that as long as ds gets a balanced healthy diet then it doesn't matter where they are on the chart.

Mine was the same. He's now 5 and the tallest in the class without an inch of chub on him (apart from his adorable chubby cheeks top and bottom). Ignore her. Your DS is completely in proportion and I expect absolutely lovely.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 07-Aug-13 17:42:30

He's very big for his age, but totally in proportion. My ds 1 only hit those numbers at 2y 5m, but again was totally in proportion, and on appearances looked skinny in fact as regards weight to height. If you're concerned speak to you GP but otherwise, ignore her. She's demonstrating a shocking lack of knowledge of how the statistics work.

Bakingtins Wed 07-Aug-13 17:45:35

Ignore. She is completely ignorant about what percentiles mean. So many HVs seem to be aiming to get everyone onto the 50th percentile line confused The only thing I'd be doing is flagging up to the GP that the HVs are in need of some retraining.

Tee2072 Wed 07-Aug-13 17:46:00

Do not check his BMI. BMI is bullshit.

If both height and weight are the same centile, he's fine.

SaucyJack Wed 07-Aug-13 17:48:41

You're under no obligation to visit HVs, take their advice or discuss your own parenting views with them.

Having sid that, are you overfeeding him?

LEMisdisappointed Wed 07-Aug-13 17:51:05

she's mad, id not worry about it - also once he starts walking he will slim down some

MoominsYonisAreScary Wed 07-Aug-13 17:55:36

Well from my red book that just looks like he's on the 99th for weight and slightly over for height so just a tall 1 year old

HaplessHousewife Wed 07-Aug-13 17:57:56

DS has always been under the 50th centile for height but at about 6 months shot up to the 91st centile for weight blush. He stayed there for a long time and the HVs were never worried. There was one weighing session (around 2) when the nursery assistant told me to change his milk to semi-skimmed. The HV took one look at him and said not to bother, he looked fine to her – he's solidly built rather than fat.

At his 2.5 year check he was still under the 50th centile for height but had gone down to close to the 75th for weight so I'm glad I ignored the assistant as he's obviously balancing out as he grows.

It's ridiculous to say your DS is overweight when he's perfectly in proportion.

thefuturesnotourstosee Wed 07-Aug-13 18:01:34

Thank you for all the reassurance. I suppose that what worries me most is that while I am quite a strong personality and have some idea about how centiles etc. work there will be others who will simply do as they are told possibly to the ultimate detriment of their DC. It seems so wrong that she can give what is basically wrong advice and people will trust her and follow it.

enormouse Wed 07-Aug-13 18:02:28

He sounds proportionate to me.
My DS was the opposite. he fell from the 25th to the 20th centile. He had a bad teething incident followed by d and v and after stayed on the centile. He is still quite slim but healthy and strong looking but the hv was adamant I should try and feed him up somehow, she didn't explain how exactly to do this though. He would eat all day if he could and has a balanced, varied diet.

I stopped taking him to be weighed a few months ago as they she said a number of other things that pissed me off (for e.g. his bad temper on the day she came to see him was due to me going to uni and giving him separation anxiety not that he needed a nap!)

I've digressed -sorry! But as long as he's healthy and happy, eating a good diet I wouldn't bother with the HVs.

alreadytaken Wed 07-Aug-13 18:03:47

looks like the HV isn't the only one not understanding centiles. He's a lot taller than average and therefore you'd expect him to be a lot heavier than average. If he was at the 80th centile you might be underfeeding him.

If you do speak to your gp it should only be to question the health visitors training.

EmmaGellerGreen Wed 07-Aug-13 18:04:38

You don't need to tell her anything because you don't need to see her. If you are happy with his diet and weight then there is nothing to do!

Whoknowswhocares Wed 07-Aug-13 18:08:20

Clueless woman!
The whole point of centiles dictates that 20% of children will be above her magic 80 centile mark. If his height and weight were wildly different, then she would have a point but as it stands, she has just proved her inability to perform her job to an acceptable standard

ChippingInHopHopHop Wed 07-Aug-13 18:08:24

You need to make a serious complaint about her, to her governing body. You are right, she could be doing some serious damage with her lack of knowledge and disturbing communication skills - report her for the benefit of others.

hardboiledpossum Wed 07-Aug-13 18:14:41

She is clearly an idiot, i would complain. He is perfectly in proportion, anyone with a basic understanding of maths should be able to see that. Besides it is impossible to over feed an infant who is being offered a sensible diet. Small children self regulate and it is harmful to interfere with this. I had a similar incident with my health visitor, which has red me to missing following checks. This is flagged up on his notes and i am interrogated on why i didn't arrange a two year check for him every time we go to the doctors .

MiaowTheCat Wed 07-Aug-13 18:17:47

Both my DDs are between the 91st and 98th centile for weight... the health visitors repeatedly tell me NOT to worry about it as their height is on exactly the same line... they're just in proportion.

And centiles - someone by their very definition HAS to be 100, and a fair proportion of kids will have to be over the 80th centile line - that's how the bloody things work!

MissStrawberry Wed 07-Aug-13 18:22:21

YWSM

(You were super mum) grin

DS1 and 2 were both quite big when little. Both are really quite slim now. Don't worry. She is probably trying to make sure he doesn't end up obese when he is 30 but going about it all wrong.

SwedishHouseMat Wed 07-Aug-13 18:28:43

I wish someone would just throw these silly charts away. If your baby is happy and healthy and is a little chubby, does it really matter? I've seen tiny babies grow up to be hulking rugby players and bigger babies grow up to be petite women.

Every baby is different. Every baby grows and develops at their own pace. Chubby babies don't necessarily grow up to be obese adults. I'm tired of this hysteria regarding over-feeding babies.

I would ignore this advice from the HV.

HVs don't get very good reviews on MN. With advice like this, I'm not surprised.

YoniHuman Wed 07-Aug-13 18:30:09

Definitely complain in writing about the advice you were given. She was clearly talking out of her arse.

MrsDeVere Wed 07-Aug-13 18:31:06

My DCs were all on the high centiles.

None of them were overweight. They are mixed race and afaik those bloody centiles have not been updated for years.

I could be wrong, I hope I am and that they have been updated to take into account different ethnicities.

Because those bloody charts cause more trouble than they are worth.

catgirl1976 Wed 07-Aug-13 18:46:42

She is an idiot

If he is on for both height and weight he's in proportion

If he was on the 99th for weight and the 30th for height then she'd have a point

My DS is off the charts for both height and weight. He's not fat at all.

He's very tall therefore he weighs more

Ignore her

vj32 Wed 07-Aug-13 19:09:50

Ds was significantly above the top line on the chart for weight at 8 months old. But he was an early walker at about ten months and then put on no more weight for over 6 months. He just zoomed upwards.

At just over 2 he is now just above the 95th. He can eat a scary amount of food some days but he burns it all off with the constant running and climbing.

Ignore the HV.

ShabbyButNotChic Wed 07-Aug-13 19:14:48

My friend has an 8month old son who was always a bit of a porker well rounded. Her hv told her the same, she must be over feeding etc. as it was her first baby she was naturally upset, thought she was a shit mum etc.
she went for a 2nd opinion, and when she told them what he ate, and how often, they told her not to worry at all. I think it totally depends which hv you see.

He started crawling 6weeks ago and has already lost a substantial amount of chunk. I think they tend to even out a bit when they start moving smile

TheUnstoppableWindmill Wed 07-Aug-13 19:22:33

If you have time, I really think that it would be worth writing a letter of complaint and asking for a response to check that it gets noticed (I'm not sure who is in charge of HVs...)- she really needs retraining as she clearly doesn't understand centiles, and you're right that someone less confident/clued up than yourself may heed some bad advice.

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