New job ruined before i've even started :( (bit long - soz)

[careergal]

After 10 years in a really great job that I totally enjoy surrounded by lovely colleagues, I took a chance at applying for a great new job at another place, more money, brill prospects.

I worked SO HARD on my application and during the 2 day long interview process, which I feel like I nailed and I have never said that about an interview, nor would I usually blow my own trumpet to that effect. I GOT THE JOB and was happy, couldn't believe it.

It turns out that I vaguely know the girl i'll be replacing as we went to Uni together - I did not realise until the day of the interview when she was observing one of the group tasks. Since then she has been in contact to meet up for drinks which I have done as I feel obliged since I got the job and she always disguises it as 'handing over' (which she has never done).

At every opportunity she keeps telling me, on a continuous loop that (in a nutshell):

She was the reason I got the job
She put a good word in
They were not going to recruit me until she told them i'd be good
The manager was begging her (after my interview) to take back her notice as they had not found anyone suitable but she managed to convince them

I'm so gutted! I want to tell her to STFU but it will go on deaf ears as she has no empathy and if anything looks shocked when I don't say 'oh thank you so much'! It has really upset me to the point that I don't even want the job :(

Say it's not true, I will still never know without asking the manager and presenting myself as needy and emotional (which I'm generally not)!

How do I get past this and AIBU!

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

She is just bigging herself up and she sounds like a bitch.

You got that job all by yourself.

Hurray for you!

[Somethingtothinkabout]

Oh she's just being a cow. Honestly, they wouldn't have hired you if they didn't want you.

Your 'friend' is a bit of a bitch, sorry.

[aldiwhore]

YANBU to feel wretched, YABU to believe it.

Maybe she did put a good word in for you, but I suspect that would have been as far as her fiddling went.

When you start your job, cut all contact.

[EvieanneVolvic]

I say this without a shadow of a doubt...this is all about her neediness and is no reflection on you whatsoever.


Knock 'em dead.

And congratulations

[Karen4007]

Ignore the silly cow! They would not have offered you the job if they dud not think you could do it.

She is obviously self important and wally.

Go to the new job, knock em dead and in a while when U are settled and know the manager, ask them then if you feel the time is right and you still need to.

Even if they did beg her to stay (which I doubt) she should not have told you.

Go for drinks when she asks you, ignore her crappy comments and when U have settled into the jon never speak to her again!

U will be fab!

[Eilidhbelle]

What a load of rubbish! She'd have to have an awful lot of control over your managers for that to be true, she's just being snide. Ignore her and congratulations on your new job!

[ShoeWhore]

I agree she's being a bitch. She is leaving - there is no way that the people who are staying would have hired you unless they thought you could do the job. I can totally understand how upsetting this must be to hear but look on the bright side - she's leaving and won't be there when you actually start the new job - hurrah!

[IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat]

What a bitch she sounds, drop her like a hot stone. There is no way a whole interview panel would not like you/not think you could do the job and then be convinced by somebody observing a group task. She was a very small part of your 2 day interview process.

I seriously doubt her opinion counts for that much, and as for them begging her? She is bullshitting.

Ignore and hold your head high. Good luck in your new job!

[Smartiepants79]

Does she have a new job? She sounds jealous and put out at being so easily (and well) replaced.
She is talking bollox.
They would never hire someone just cos she said so.
Sounds like this is what she WANTED to happen.
She is mean. But she is leaving and you never have to see her again!

[Gingerandcocoa]

Don't believe her!! She's afraid you'll do a better job than she's done, and just trying to make you feel bad.

[MikeOxard]

Nope, total bollocks. This is her finding someone she feels she can seem really important to, and she's milking it for everything it's worth (and much, much more). Do the 'yeah, great, thanks' thing until you start the job, then give her the total brush off. She can find someone else to do the unconvincing idol worship if she needs it that much the silly sod.

[MelanieCheeks]

No way that you got that job on anything but your merits! Congratulations, and I hope it turns out well fir you.

Her behaviour and comments sound really odd, and I wouldn't give them any credence.

[NotAsTired]

You got the job on merit. She is being a bitch. Best way forward is to forget everything she says and then do a damn great job.

Well done!

[foslady]

She's no friend. She's a cow, and I struggle to believe what she said.

Go get 'em Floyd!

[daisychain01]

Well done careergal, feel proud of yourself because you were the reason you got the job and it doesn't matter what she has said. She sounds insecure, which explains her need to 'big up' her inplausible role in your success.

You mention that you are replacing this person - is she staying in the organisation but moving to a different post? I think it says a lot if she is - because if she was leaving she would not need to comment or connect with you, she would be moving forward independently. Maybe she is going to have to interact with you in your new role - if so, she maybe wants to ensure she puts her stamp of authority on this situation, giving the message "things will only happen for you, if I choose make it happen" "I was here first" - which is effectively trying to disempower you. The key thing is, don't let her!

Whatever the explanation, if possible try not to think too hard about it, so that you don't going into your job with preconceived ideas. Go in with full confidence in the value you can personally add. Remember that you are the new person, so you will need to take time to prove yourself and put your mark on the role you will play. It won't happen in a day or a week. It will take time. Enjoy the journey.

I wish you every possible success and happiness, you clearly deserve it!

[SofiaVagueara]

Course it's not fucking true.

My gut feeling is she's doing a bit of arse covering because when you start you're probably going to find out she was actually a bit shit and not that well thought of and she's trying to save face.

The woman is clearly such a total monumental bitch there is no way she would have 'put a word in' for you.

Also if she had so much influence on the recruitment process how come she was barely involved in it?

Clearly she is has just had her nose put out of joint by realizing that her contemporaries at university have reached the same level as her and that makes her feel like she's nothing special when she had convinced herself she was.

Ignore, she's talking bollocks. If this had happened and she had been nice enough to put a good word in for you she would also be nice enough not to tell you this had happened.

It's obvious she is just trying to make you feel undermined. It's blatant and a bit tragic on her part. She's obviously very insecure.

[Beastofburden]

She is feeling insecure because you are replacing her, so she is showing off about how vital she is to the place. If you asked any of your new colleagues (I know you can't- yet) you would probably get a very different picture of her, once you start you will probably hear all kinds of good reasons why she is leaving.

[McNewPants2013]

You got the job on your own merits.

I don't even think it is legal for a boss to ask to take back a resignation.

[timidviper]

She sounds like a an insecure bitch who is making herself feel better at your expense.

Just ignore her, get in there and knock 'em dead!

[JambalayaCodfishPie]

Do you think, maybe, shes regretting her resignation, and in some round-about way is trying to get you to quit?

She can the go back, as the amazing angel who saved the company by going back at such short notice?

[Panzee]

Congratulations on your new job.
She is lying. Ignore.

[NellysKnickers]

Ignore the bitch. When you've been there a month or so, meet up with her to let her know how much everyone loves you and how they all keep commenting on "however did we manage without you" and that "you are so much better than the last person who did the job"!!

[Inkspellme]

the job sounds great - I doubt that your new employers would go to that much effort to fill the position and then just let the old employee say who should have the position. It sounds like you achieved this by hard work and effort on your behalf. ignore her and cut contact when she has left position .

oh, and well done!

[MumnGran]

As an employer, all the recommendations in the world from a junior would not secure the job for a candidate unless I was 100% happy with the CV and interview. Peiod.

So relax, OP. You got the job on merit.
Some people just like to feel important. Is her degree in bullshit?

[TerribleTantrums]

Stop meeting her, it sounds as though you've met several times already. Be busy and unavailable the next time she tries to arrange something and then send a lovely email saying how much you appreciate her help handing over, what a pity you're going to be snowed under between now and the time you start the new job and if there's anything very important that she still needs to tell you could she please email it to you or document it in her handover notes (that you are sure she is currently writing).

It's all about her, you're fine but she needs to be the centre of attention and she's probably a bit worried that you will be more popular and better at the job than she ever was.