to ask why is it frowned upon to remember things some posters' say

(213 Posts)
fluckered Tue 06-Aug-13 14:02:24

without actually doing a search, why is it not ok to perhaps ask a poster who previously posted for example "I have twin boys both starting school son" who then asks for advice on how to adopt for example as they don't have children .... "hang on a second, I thought you said last week you have twin boys". why is this frowned upon? people are accused of doing advanced searches when some people actually have a good memory or remember a thread as it resounded more for them than others ... and are asked "eh, what has that to do with this thread". am genuinely asking. wouldn't be for someone following a poster around and tearing shite out of everything they post ... but why cant a poster's posting history be questioned if there are obvious inconsistencies?!

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Thu 08-Aug-13 17:27:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeGavrOrf Thu 08-Aug-13 15:25:40

I laughed at Morloths 80% bullshit grin I agree by the way. Sometimes I come on here and think that the vast majority of things are bloody made up. Especially in relationships.

You do end up feeling concerned for people, you see people who end up posting in a weird way and you do wonder. But I have been over involved in the past to find out it is all a load of old bollocks so now am more wary.

What is more concerning is when you pretty much know that a thread is started by a bullshitter and yet you see other people getting very involved.

cushtie335 Thu 08-Aug-13 13:12:00

The only other forum I posted on consistently was Digital Spy and in General Discussion and Advice there were loads of troll threads which can stretch to pages and pages of boring "you're a troll"/no I'm not" inane posts. I think it's probably better here that the mods deal with it. It's horrible when someone follows you about from thread to thread giving you pelters. DS were very lax at banning people for that and some really nasty people got away with some disgusting posts. It's much better policed here as far as I can see.

This has just happened on another thread where I am being lighthearted and someone has come on to point out that the op's dh has been having an affair so there are bigger issues than his moaning about the state of the house. Time to back out.

Morloth Wed 07-Aug-13 23:45:35

It is pretty pointless though TSC.

They only hear what they want to hear, which is the 'You Go Girl' crap.

If they don't get that they start another thread, usually with a name change and rewrite the script in their head and on the page so that they can get the needed response.

There just isn't anything to be done about it, so I mostly stay away from them now, got pretty involved/burned by TLES. Is just too depressing.

People can't be expected to just forget about previous threads, even with a name change it is usually pretty obvious who someone is from their writing style/the story they are spinning.

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy Wed 07-Aug-13 19:41:04

Erm ... sorry to be boring and repeat for the third time ... but what if it's not 'you' but someone else?

That is, you see, what people have been discussing all this time.

I don't quite get why you're harking back to a subject that's been dismissed yonks ago, but I respect that ... so, now you've done that ... do you have some thoughts for what everyone else is talking about, and has already explained? Or not?

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Wed 07-Aug-13 19:05:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSecondComing Wed 07-Aug-13 15:25:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKoala Wed 07-Aug-13 14:53:43

I suppose i always start on discussions with the stance that everyone will be telling the truth - otherwise i don't see the point in discussing things with people if you think they may be fibbing. But i rarely post on emotional threads as i prefer theoretical type OPs, so i can see how if you invest in those it would upset you. What is irritating on the 'theoretical' threads is when someone posts a point and people say well i don't do that, and the other posters which do say you're talking bollocks because they can't comprehend anyone being different. (that happens with the porn discussions - the moment someone says 'my dp doesn't watch porn' posters accuse them of being a deluded sap - like they have more insight into the posters relationship than them.) If you aren't going to believe anyone who disagrees with you then you shouldn't engage in a discussion. I often imagine how that would go in a house of commons debate...'My constituents have complained that x is happening' 'no it isn't, they are talking shit, next subject' confused

ImperialBlether Wed 07-Aug-13 14:29:41

Has the thread about the dress (which started this thread, I think) been deleted?

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy Wed 07-Aug-13 14:10:41

wicked - but it often isn't you who is emotionally invested. That's the point.

Do you honestly not get that?

ImperialBlether Wed 07-Aug-13 13:57:37

WhiteandGreen, it wasn't a teacher! That was a job I took out of thin air as an example.

It really doesn't matter. I wish I hadn't said a word, now!

WhiteandGreen Wed 07-Aug-13 13:55:47

Imperial, I have been a teacher and worked night shifts in a factory suring the holidays.

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Wed 07-Aug-13 13:47:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Wed 07-Aug-13 13:42:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy Wed 07-Aug-13 13:38:57

I agree with imperial, I think it can matter a lot. Especially as you can often see that other people are emotionally invested, even if you're not yourself.

ImperialBlether Wed 07-Aug-13 13:36:05

Wow, don't know where that came from TheWickedBitch.

I said that the example wasn't a teacher. It didn't bother me that the woman was lying; why would it? I just noticed it, that's all.

I'm far more bothered about the way you've just spoken to me than I am that a woman was lying about her job to gain points in an argument.

Posters are real on here, you know. It's not just words on a screen. When you speak to someone nastily, then yes, it has an impact.

TheWickedBitchOfTheBest Wed 07-Aug-13 13:20:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy Wed 07-Aug-13 12:07:08

I don't think it matters if 'points' is all she won, but it matters when people are getting upset and feeling put down.

I've occasionally seen people make claims where I can tell, and anyone who knew the topic well could tell, that they are at best rather exaggerating what they know, and at worst making stuff up. And that's fine, so long as it's not a topic where someone is invested in it, or where someone is actually taking serious advice.

I know we all know you can't trust people on the net, but trolls/liars prey on the people who are a bit new to all this or who've got sucked in, don't they?

It's the double standard for 'remembering' that I find difficult. I commented on something a while back and got a right slap down from someone who said that 'in so-and-so's circumstances' I should be more sensitive. And I felt a right twit, as I should have done, because I didn't know her circumstances and they were awful, and if I'd known I wouldn't have posted as I did.

So quite obviously, most people do remember stuff.

It is better to stick to what the OP is saying and leave it at that, generally, but there's always a few exceptions.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 07-Aug-13 12:01:02

I think its because sometimes something you post about is quoted back on another thread and taken out of context or used in a particularly nasty way to make another point.

ImperialBlether Wed 07-Aug-13 11:58:47

No, that was an example, but not the real situation. The two jobs she mentioned just weren't compatible. Both were designed to allow her to win points.

SelectAUserName Wed 07-Aug-13 11:56:52

if someone said, "I'm a teacher and teach 5 year olds..." in an effort to win an argument, then within a week or two is saying, "I work shifts and I'm on nights at the moment" then you might assume that both those statements aren't true

You might, or then again they may be in a similar position to a friend of mine (not a MNer) who works PT in a school but has had to get a second, unrelated job in the longer holidays because their DP has lost his job. If the "within a week or two" coincided with the start of the summer holidays, for instance, then in my friend's case both of those statements could be true (well, she teaches older than 5yos but the general principle is sound).

I'm being slightly disingenuous as I appreciate this is an unlikely, albeit not impossible, interpretation of that specific example but it does highlight the dangers of assuming 'liar' or 'troll'.

ScrambledSmegs Wed 07-Aug-13 11:52:41

I'm too tired to lie. It's far too much effort when you have a non-sleeping baby. For the same reason I'm unlikely to remember what people have written previously. I'm very impressed by people who do remember - TSC seems to have an eidetic memory, so if she says something happened I tend to believe her.

Sadly I've become very cynical about a lot of stuff on MN. I used to take a 'benefit of the doubt' approach, but have realised that if it is a troll I will still have expended time and energy on someone who is at best, a fantasist and at worst an emotional vampire. Sweaty-palmed wankers are generally easy to spot for even the most gullible so I don't count them.

Lindt does a really nice salted caramel chocolate at the moment. I have some of that in the fridge not for long. It can take refrigeration. Try, try...

Had to send DD for a unexpected sleepover and it was all I had to hand to send with her.

And my dad is keeping his huge bag of bite size toblerones to himself.

How can I have been to Switzerland and have no chocolate confused

Absy Wed 07-Aug-13 11:44:11

Exit, that's so tragic sad

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