to ask why is it frowned upon to remember things some posters' say

(213 Posts)
fluckered Tue 06-Aug-13 14:02:24

without actually doing a search, why is it not ok to perhaps ask a poster who previously posted for example "I have twin boys both starting school son" who then asks for advice on how to adopt for example as they don't have children .... "hang on a second, I thought you said last week you have twin boys". why is this frowned upon? people are accused of doing advanced searches when some people actually have a good memory or remember a thread as it resounded more for them than others ... and are asked "eh, what has that to do with this thread". am genuinely asking. wouldn't be for someone following a poster around and tearing shite out of everything they post ... but why cant a poster's posting history be questioned if there are obvious inconsistencies?!

TimeofChange Tue 06-Aug-13 14:04:36

OP: I agree with you.

ceeveebee Tue 06-Aug-13 14:05:35

I know exactly what you mean, I have a very good memory and find it hard to hold back sometimes!
I suppose its effectively troll hunting if you are questioning the truth of their posts. So you should report but not post your concerns?

I think it depends on exactly what has been said in the past, I know that a lot of people change details (number of/ ages of children etc) to remain anonymous, but there's got to be a happy medium.

Arisbottle Tue 06-Aug-13 14:08:05

I am always amazed when people remember posts from other people, I never look at who has posted rather what they have posted.

Obviously the example you gave is a glaring contradiction but I have probably changed the ages of my children if posting something sensitive.

I find it a little odd that you would actively search through someone's history to prove a point but nothing wrong in remembering if you can .

LEMisdisappointed Tue 06-Aug-13 14:10:16

So is that what happened then OP?Cos if it it did, this is a fred about a fred and tis against the rules!! <<heeellleeennnn, Olivviiiaaaaa>>>

I have a very good memory for threads and also look at the nn of the poster, some people say they never notice the nn but I always do!

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking if they've posted before or that the thread seems familiar or seems a bit odd as long as there's no abuse or bullying.

fluckered Tue 06-Aug-13 14:21:33

LEM it is a fed about a fed i guess lol but it bugs me that you can't question anything at all. i mean its easy to name change so if you want to be anon about a topic that's there to use. but if you don't and contradict yourself why the hell is it not ok to question it. ah, i dunno! i have a shite memory as not on that often but on a previous site you were shot with a ball of your own shite if you dare question a poster. Justforlaughs there has to be a happy medium i agree. but i feel in an non abusive way you should be able to ask (OP can ignore if they wish) about something that they previously posted if it contradicts.

as for doing a search, if someone accused me of bullying them or lying or something, damn right i will search to back up my point!

cacamilis Tue 06-Aug-13 14:32:19

Firstly how do you name change and when you do is it only for one thread and then you revert back to your original name iykwim?

I have a good memory too and think if its relevant to the thread it should be ok to mention a previous post in a different thread. However I hate when people bring up stuff you have mentioned in a previous thread that has no bearing on the thread in hand, usually you end up been quoted out of context and its done to make you look bad.angry

If someone accuses me of lying then yes I would consider looking up the relevant post, and either prove my point or eat humble pie.

fluckered Tue 06-Aug-13 14:34:52

I don't think you can revert back to the other name, maybe you can. but say I change my name to gobshite ( wink ) will all of fluckered's previous posts now be posted by gobshite or will fluckered be eternally lost?

Pagwatch Tue 06-Aug-13 14:38:31

I guess it's because if you say 'hang on op - you said you had twins' you are kind of calling troll/pants on fire when op may have just altered some facts so as to not be immediately recognised?

I am impressed by people having such good memories. My memory is awful.

limitedperiodonly Tue 06-Aug-13 14:40:17

Because you get accused of stalking or being part of a gang of haterz, when in fact the poster might be fond of colourful and contradictory stories which can't help but stick in your brain.

Hence, I don't bother any more.

fluckered Tue 06-Aug-13 14:42:49

but why is it calling troll? I mean if you REALLY want to be that anon change name or I dunno ... be consistant with your "story" (not saying lies). as for being recognised? just don't be so open on the internet.

Maryz Tue 06-Aug-13 14:44:32

Poor Olivia.

Lack of gin is giving her high blood pressure sad

Apparently you can't ask someone why they namechanged to start a thread either, or if they are new, or express any doubt that any minute detail of their op might be impossible.

So if someone posts "I have just driven from London to Glasgow in 34 minutes" you can't express disbelief.

I think the official explanation is that people can change details for privacy reasons. So in your example, the question about twins could have been asked on behalf of a friend, while the op is really trying to adopt. Or something like that hmm

fluckered Tue 06-Aug-13 14:45:02

but people only get annoyed when a poster swears blind that they DIDN'T say such and such and are caught out at not being consistent. they don't have to be .... their call, but its rich getting defensive then innit?

(ps. that's my first innit ... did I use it right? wink )

Maryz Tue 06-Aug-13 14:45:41

I had a post deleted yesterday. I thought I was being subtle.

My post said "I call bullshit". I have no idea why Olivia deleted it.

Sconset Tue 06-Aug-13 14:46:50

It's one of the reasons I barely post now- photographic memory, and it freaks people out too much sad

fluckered Tue 06-Aug-13 14:48:39

yeah I see your point Maryz and I struggled not to find an example that wasn't inflammatory but I would understand if someone said "oh yeah, that wasn't correctly true I am trying to stay anonymous" i'd say no more. I totally understand for privacy reasons ... but is it too much to ask to be consistant or to at least realise not everyone is that arsed to advance search and actually DO have a memory for detail or usernames?

navada Tue 06-Aug-13 14:49:32

I can't remember what someone said an hour ago let alone months or even years ago, plus I don't take much notice of posters names.
And yes, I'd feel like a bit of a weirdo/stalker if I remembered what a poster said on an anonymous forum, unless they were offering me fantastic advice - that's different.

Gunznroses Tue 06-Aug-13 14:50:58

OP i know exactly what you mean. I was reading through the Education thread, and a popular poster described parents at a particular school as 'none are ghastly...'. Months ago i had happened to have read a thread about the same school where the same poster had said 'some of the parents are ghastly and i avoid them" it stuck in my mind as i thought it a bit odd (bearing in the poster had never spoken to them before). I just let it go, but thought it interesting, just goes to show, don't make important life changing decisions based on what one Mner has said.

Some things just stick for whatever reason, it doesn't mean we're wasting our time doing thread searches.

FrigginRexManningDay Tue 06-Aug-13 14:53:09

If people want to remain anon then yes they can absolutely change details. It makes sense. I remember posts from usernames that click with me.

And Maryz you were probably deleted because it was not clear whether the shit was bull or cow and to infer it was bull without clear and concise evidence would be inflammatory.

magimedi Tue 06-Aug-13 14:53:45

If you change your name to Gobshite only the posts you made in that name will show up as it. All your fluckered's will remain fluckered.

I know that as I've Yoni namechanged in the past.

magimedi Tue 06-Aug-13 14:54:24

PS

I do like fluckered - I think I might start using that as in: "I'm fluckered if I know.." grin

Maryz Tue 06-Aug-13 14:54:34

Well, we all know that the real reason posters do it is because they are writing absolute crap, completely made up and designed to stir.

But unfortunately, it is hard to prove that. You can't actually prove whether the op on an anonymous forum is hairy-handed or not, even when many of us recognise the op and know all their posts are a load of bollocks.

There are some very nice people on here who are all for giving the benefit of the doubt in all cases, even for the real wind-up merchants. And there are even more naive lurkers who are incredible gullible genuinely believe the most far-fetched stories and report anyone casting any doubt.

mnhq have a fine line to tread between upsetting the gullible nice posters and pissing off the rest of us. So generally, if an op is not actually causing a riot they give them the benefit of the doubt and tell us to leave them alone.

I'm not bitter about it, oh no I'm not <lies>

FrigginRexManningDay Tue 06-Aug-13 14:55:03

Navada do not,under any circumstances attempt to lick your own elbow.

Will you remember me forever and always? grin

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