To really resent doing party bags for my dc's bday parties??

(144 Posts)
justkeeponsmiling Mon 05-Aug-13 09:10:53

It annoys the hell out of me!
This week we are having a bday party for 4yo DS and 8yo DD (bad planning from us a few years back, I know!)
Money is tight and we are already hiring a bouncy castle, feeding the party guests and entertaining them with games, etc. for 2-3 hours. And feeding the parents of the 4yo guests as well, if last year is anything to go by, as they all decided to stay and tuck into the buffet...
I don't mind any of that, but I really resent the custom of then having to present the guests with presents in the form of party bags for even turning up!
Maybe it's because I'm not from this country and I know that in my home country the concept of party bags simply doesn't exist (at least it didn't years ago...maybe that's changed now though?!)
Or maybe I'm just a miserable so and so... hmmm [hmmm]

NaturalBaby Mon 05-Aug-13 09:13:25

Don't do it then. We've been given a small toy and piece of cake instead of party bags which was much easier for the parents.
Are you saying you expected all the parents to leave last year?! I expect all the parents to stay and supervise their children at our parties, and as I've invited them as well (and consider them friends) I provide cake and drinks for them.

CocacolaMum Mon 05-Aug-13 09:14:21

I love a party bag personally but you do know its not a legal requirement?

gordyslovesheep Mon 05-Aug-13 09:17:14

why bother then? Why bother with a party either? I think it's quiet unreasonable to organise something, invite people, decide to do party bags then be all resentful over it

BrokenSunglasses Mon 05-Aug-13 09:17:19

I just see it as part of the cost of hosting a children's birthday party, no different from food, the cake, or entertainment.

They can be done really cheaply, but if you resent it that much, you don't have to do it.

FootOfOurStairs Mon 05-Aug-13 09:17:30

Don't do it! I never have. We've done boxes with party tea leftovers in a box, or a nice fairycake and a balloon. You canput balloons on sticks to make them more special if ypu choose.

ITCouldBeWorse Mon 05-Aug-13 09:19:40

If the budget is tight i suggest picnic box type lunches - much less waste and you don't need to feel obliged to feed parents.

MintyChops Mon 05-Aug-13 09:21:57

What about a piñata?

Growlithe Mon 05-Aug-13 09:23:15

I don't mind them as it gets them all out after two hours. grin

NoComet Mon 05-Aug-13 09:23:49

Honestly the DCs will be happy with cake and a little packet of Haribos and a mini chocolate bar.

Stationary lucky dips also work well for 8y DDs. You can get multipacks of note books and thinks very cheap.

I too think party bags are a daft extra expense, but they do say home time very clearly.

justkeeponsmiling Mon 05-Aug-13 09:24:37

Sorry, this was meant to be lighthearted!

Naturalbaby no I didn't expect the parents to leave last year. I didn't mind them tucking into the buffet either. It was only when some of the dads started asking for cans of lager I began thinking who is this party actually for...!
FootofourstairsI really like that idea! I think I mainly resent spending money I don't have on meaningless plastic tat... Your suggestion sounds nice and practical

Ruprekt Mon 05-Aug-13 09:25:11

Ds would agree with you.

He told me NOT to do partybags as the children should just be grateful to have been invited!

Fine by me. smilesmilesmilesmile

wigglesrock Mon 05-Aug-13 09:27:17

Bubble wands are your friend smile Just hand them out when the kids leave.

NaturalBaby Mon 05-Aug-13 09:31:11

asking for lager... yanbu!

jamdonut Mon 05-Aug-13 09:34:19

Be like me and don't have parties then!

Just have a friend or two around for tea and playing whatever they want.
Much more sensible than entertaining a load of kids that your child may or may not get on with .

And I would hate having a load of parents staying to supervise!! (When did this start to happen? I've never taken my kids to a party where the parents stayed)

Yep,I think I fall into the miserable so-and-so camp! Strangely ,though, my kids have all grown up fine. wink

Caboodle Mon 05-Aug-13 09:39:20

Problem is, whether we like it or not, most children expect them. But - I agree re the plastic tat....I actually do not want lots of that rubbish in my house (we have enough McDs toys already without a plastic snake / mini water gun etc) grin
I put in cake, balloon, box of raisins. Bubbles are a great idea - my DCs love them.
I'd do them - easy way to say GO HOME NOW (so I can sit down drink wine )

Caboodle Mon 05-Aug-13 09:42:51

Just as an aside though - my 2 eldest DCs are sharing a party at a pricey venue where party bags are not included - I'm not sure whether to supply them for this party as I will have spent a fortune already (but party has a clear 'get your shoes on and go home' end).

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 05-Aug-13 09:44:25

Don't do it if you can't do it with love. grin I enjoy doing them....but can understand where you are coming from.

primallass Mon 05-Aug-13 09:47:52

Poundland is your friend. Just get the bags from there and stick in some cake and a box of smarties.

SoupDragon Mon 05-Aug-13 09:49:13

Think of them as now fuck off home bags instead.

Isoscelesnorks Mon 05-Aug-13 09:49:41

I knew here was a benefit to having a child with ASD. We don't get invited to parties and we certainly don't have them!

SuffolkNWhat Mon 05-Aug-13 09:51:11

We have got around it this year by hosting DD's party at our local ceramic painting place, cheaper than softplay/hiring somewhere, allowed to bring our own food/cake and the children get to keep what they paint. Winners all round!

BeCool Mon 05-Aug-13 09:57:29

my 5yo assures me that party bags are absolutely the highlight of her year. Kids LOVE them whatever is in there. They just love them.

But you don't have to do it. And I think YABU to be doing something you RESENT - it's a strong word for a "lighthearted thread". If you resent it, don't do it. Otherwise just consider it another part of your party budget along with hall hire, bouncy castle, food etc. make it work together.

I always like to provide food and drink for the adults - they are giving up there time so their child can come to your child's birthday. They usually have to hang around for a couple of hours and wait. Of course I want to treat these people as guests.

ElsieOops Mon 05-Aug-13 10:04:37

If you didn't grown up here then you won't have had them as a kid. I remember loving finding a few little treats in them - and also enjoyed putting them together for my kids parties. But then I could only ever afford simple tea parties for about 6 children.

soverylucky Mon 05-Aug-13 10:06:27

You don't have to do them. Most parties that my dd's have been to they have got some pick n mix in a cellophane bag with a balloon and a bit of cake.
I personally wouldn't do the sort of party you are planning - food for adults, 40 kids, entertainer etc. Do what you want to do. No-one should expect a party bag and if a kid is upset by lack of party bag after they have been entertained for two hours then their parents need to address this.

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