to think that a lot (but not all) "Gentle Parenting" FB pages are full of sneery nobbers?

(295 Posts)
Fourwillies Mon 05-Aug-13 08:37:22

Inspired by a post by MrsDeVere, and the fact that I have just removed myself from FOUR of these pages, I'm reaching the conclusion that despite the high ideals, there are a lot of judgemental sneery fuckers on these pages, clueless about anything beyond their own nose.

[and relax]

People buy into the label, without understanding the principles, a lot of the time.

So 'gentle' becomes 'mug/martyr' which leads to spoilt brat of a child. Which I'd guess is not what people who have actually thought through this approach are aiming for?

sherbetpips Mon 05-Aug-13 12:34:33

HoleyGhost I agree I had a friend who posted daily pictures on fb and then daily whinges on how hard her life was with a baby 'attached' to her. She was evangelical about it all though, whilst suffering from horrible PND. Anyone who tried to suggest to her that maybe she shouldn't be so hard on herself and give herself some space from the baby was never spoken to again. I always wonder what the dad's think, watching there perfectly normal wife suddenly changing every aspect of their lives so a baby can be permanently strapped to them.

thebody Mon 05-Aug-13 12:34:38

bugger!! making a shed load if cash out of their inability to think for themselves.

live the terms attached and gentle by the way!! hilarious.

nothing new here either. parents have been strict/ sloppy/daft and spoilt children for generations.

OctopusPete8 Mon 05-Aug-13 12:34:56

I think you could say the same about 'tough muvver's' aswell though tbh,

If your child's a bit boisterous,cheeky late developing etc..you're obviously the laziest parent to have ever lived and its all your fault they will never suffer such difficulties because their way is perfect!!!! so swings and roundabouts...

Turry Mon 05-Aug-13 12:35:17

*me dd, should read 'my' obvo! Not illiterate, honest!

HaroldLloyd Mon 05-Aug-13 12:35:52

The scraps on the BLW Facebook groups are mental.

Pages and pages of arguing about spoons.

YouTheCat Mon 05-Aug-13 12:37:07

I just followed the 'my way' parenting approach. This involved doing what the hell I thought was right in any given situation and getting on with it without needing to refer to a book.

I should write a book. hmm grin

natwebb79 Mon 05-Aug-13 12:38:07

That's the one,Commander! grin

TeWiSavesTheDay Mon 05-Aug-13 12:53:57

It's weird because I have found some gentle parenting type books useful - like that no cry sleep solution one. Part of why I like them as that they are not actually that extreme. The sleep one makes a point of saying that all children are different, nothing works on every child, sometimes there is nothing you can do that means they won't cry, and that letting them cry can be the right choice.

Yet other people seem to read the exact same books and completely skip over those passages and decide any crying is vile child abuse and you should be ashaaaamed. hmm

I gave up on looking for gentle parenting advice when I was looking for advice about crazy climbing babies/young toddlers. Aka too young to be told off, but big enough to do ridiculous things and seriously hurt themselves. The advice was to put a pile of cushions on the floor so they could 'experience' climbing in a safe environment. hmmhmm

I couldn't stop laughing all day.

TheSecondComing Mon 05-Aug-13 12:56:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat Mon 05-Aug-13 13:00:21

Blimey! Are there really people who deny their kids pain relief? shock

tedmundo Mon 05-Aug-13 13:06:58

Dsil does gentle parenting and the amount of words she uses makes my brain melt. I see her kids tuning out too. It is all just too, too wordy.

Example .. We were heading out to the park. dnephew dicking about and not putting on his coat.

Dsis .. "Now darling, what is the weather outside? Yes it is cold. So so cold. Brrr. So when it is cold we need to put our coats on don't we? Otherwise we will get cold bodies. And that might make us ill, and have to stay in bed. Oh dear, we don't want that do we? So shall we be putting the coat on? There it is, over there on the chair.... "

Me .. "nephew ... Coat!" Accompanied by direct eye contact and stern face.

We then went to the park. I had a headache.

HaroldLloyd Mon 05-Aug-13 13:08:47

I know of people who don't want to give calpol to maintain the virgin gut.

Yes yes.

quesadilla Mon 05-Aug-13 13:09:08

God, it sounds insufferable.
Barfing at the idea of a "slingmeet."
That's the kind of thing I would think far fetched if it featured in the plot of a sitcom about the organic classes.

What actually happens at a slingmeet? Once you have got over the rapture of meeting other smug middle class twats natural parents?

MiaowTheCat Mon 05-Aug-13 13:09:24

*The scraps on the BLW Facebook groups are mental.

Pages and pages of arguing about spoons.*

But spoons are evil don't you know. They're one step down the slippery slope from hatting your newborns (anyone who reads Sanctimommy should understand the perils of hatting).

filee777 Mon 05-Aug-13 13:12:03

Does anyone remember the scandel a couple of years ago when a well know 'gentle parenting' author who claimed to be a child psycologist had actually 'bought'' her title over the internet? A complete fabrication basically. She wrote a book hideously titled 'raising our children, raising ourselves'

YouTheCat Mon 05-Aug-13 13:13:59

I don't remember that but tbh anyone who holds themselves up as some sort of 'parenting guru' is a right twat anyway. And anyone who makes claims about being a doctor when they aren't is also a twat.

I got a lot of this on my Facebook feed from a school friend who is a nanny. I had to hide her posts in the end, they were doing my head in. I could attachment parent my arse off if I was only doing it in working hours and got to go home to a different house where I was guaranteed a child-free right hours of sleep and every weekend to myself... <and breathe>

*eight hours that should be blush

HaroldLloyd Mon 05-Aug-13 13:21:52

Never heard of hatting! Seriously!

Poor DS got a right hatting.

RedbreastRobin Mon 05-Aug-13 13:25:38

"God, it sounds insufferable.
Barfing at the idea of a "slingmeet."
That's the kind of thing I would think far fetched if it featured in the plot of a sitcom about the organic classes.

What actually happens at a slingmeet? Once you have got over the rapture of meeting other smug middle class twats natural parents?"

Often sling meets are a useful place for Mums to come along and try a few slings out, perhaps even borrow one for a while to see how she gets on. She can talk to other Mums and get advice on how to use a sling, and the various ways of 'wearing' them. Invaluable for Mums that don't have a spare £50 lying around to just pick a sling up for John Lewis. So hardly a smug middle class twunt.

Finding some of the posters on this thread insufferable TBH.

gymboywalton Mon 05-Aug-13 13:26:03

the thing about all this is that when your kids get older, you realise that none of this shit actaully matters at all.

you should just do what you need to do to get you all through the day happy and healthy.

Fourwillies Mon 05-Aug-13 13:28:32

"RedbreastRobin Mon 05-Aug-13 12:32:50
...and if by reading them you are ending up in such a state then perhaps don't read them? A lot of judgement comes from within, and it might be an idea to explore why reading about gentler parenting is provoking such a reaction. Just an idea"

Because it's shite. Judgemental martyred ill advised shite. smile

Fourwillies Mon 05-Aug-13 13:30:05

"RedbreastRobin Mon 05-Aug-13 12:30:34
I subscribe to a lot of pages/blogs such as the ones mentioned....and I have never seen outright sneers about other peoples children. Plenty on this thread though. Speaks volumes."

Speak your volumes. Enlighten, educate. And drop your passive aggressive nonsense too please.

YouTheCat Mon 05-Aug-13 13:30:57

It's all in the name. If people are having a meet up and discussing slings and whatever then great. Lovely bit of support for each other.

It's the fact that it has to have a name - 'sling meet', that makes it sound wanky.

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