to think that a lot (but not all) "Gentle Parenting" FB pages are full of sneery nobbers?

(295 Posts)
Fourwillies Mon 05-Aug-13 08:37:22

Inspired by a post by MrsDeVere, and the fact that I have just removed myself from FOUR of these pages, I'm reaching the conclusion that despite the high ideals, there are a lot of judgemental sneery fuckers on these pages, clueless about anything beyond their own nose.

[and relax]

PoppyAmex Mon 05-Aug-13 10:20:46

"Fourwillies - have you got something else going on? Why would you get so het up about that?"

Well, for starters OP got terrible advice on water safety with babies; "trusting your abilities as a mamma" to supervise 3 babies in a pool...

That's hardly an example of stellar parenting.

Burmobasher Mon 05-Aug-13 10:24:22

Yanbu.
I have noticed a lot of "baby wearing" pages on FB recently. Don't get me wrong, I think slings are great but I don't need to see 50 photos of the same baby sat in different coloured slings.
And as for baby wearing consultants, you can fuck right off, I don't need some smug git telling me how to transport my own child.

Couldn't agree more. I unliked a page only this morning.
If I'm honest I've tried all the gentle parenting stuff and most of it just doesn't seem to work for my son. He is nearly 4, and an absolute whirlwind. He seems to respond better to clear boundaries and when I am firmer. Still very much of the gentler persuasion compared to friends who take the more mainstream approach, but I find a mix of the two works the best for us.

FrigginRexManningDay Mon 05-Aug-13 10:29:43

Here's how to go swimming with a four year old and 2 year old twins......... don't. Unleash them in the soft play centre instead.

I found myself at a slingmeet earlier this year, that was weird. People who meet up every month just because they "wear" their babies. I can tell you I had zero to talk to any of them about. Anyway the kids were all lovely and placid and happy to play quietly, whilst mine ran around screaming like a lunatic. We stuck out, a lot.

mrsjay Mon 05-Aug-13 10:38:17

they are just shite Ive a few friends on them and they post things from them it seems that non gentle/natural parents are just monsters, I once saw one with a playpen being referred to a jail confused

Madmum24 Mon 05-Aug-13 10:47:12

Yeah I am on a few natural (which usually translates to gentle) parenting forums and the smuggery/martyrdom that goes on is rather hilarious. You get someone posting about how their child is spitting all over the house, and all "gentle" methods have not resolved this, so martyr mama has been up all night scrubbing the walls/carpets.settees from saliva (with said child on a sling on her back because it would be cruel to separate them). Then you get the replies "Oh gentle, loving Mama, it's not easy being a gentle, loving parent, is it hun?"

Madmum24 Mon 05-Aug-13 10:49:07

I also saw on a blog a few days ago a post a mama Mum had done with a pic of her baby at the breast, along with a very twee script of the baby telling his mother "this is my favourite place, it's where all of the cool babies hang out" For God's sake.....

mrsjay Mon 05-Aug-13 10:49:34

"Oh gentle, loving Mama, it's not easy being a gentle, loving parent, is it hun?"

which translates too you big softie let your child walk all over you it is ok we love you for doing that hmm

bragmatic Mon 05-Aug-13 10:53:16

And the 'Natural Parenting' equivalent are full of anti-vacc big 'farma' conspiracy theorists with a babies who have 'never had to see a doctor and she is 8!'

LongTailedTit Mon 05-Aug-13 11:03:54

Ha - some of this rings a bell. I'm on a couple of natural parenting pages but had never interpreted it as sneery, I just ignore the bits that don't suit me as I do find them to be far more lentil weavery than me.

I'm going to my first SlingMeet this week as it happens, but purely because I don't know many people with slings and want to try a few wrap ones out before having DC2, try before you buy etc!
Tempted to buy DS a Fruit Shoot and watch the Mexican wave of hmm come my way...

FrigginRexManningDay Mon 05-Aug-13 11:08:45

MadMum all the cool babies hang off the bloggers tit? grin

FrigginRexManningDay Mon 05-Aug-13 11:11:02

<I'm imagining babies in leather jackets,sunglasses,with fags in their hands passing around the bloggers boob cause they are so cool>

mrsjay Mon 05-Aug-13 11:13:12

arf all the cool babies

natwebb79 Mon 05-Aug-13 11:23:44

Oh blimey I hear you! I try to avoid these pages but couldn't help but comment when somebody on some page called something Armadillo(?) said that feeding your baby an Ella's Kitchen pouch without even using a spoon when out and about was a disgusting example of child abuse. Of course she only ever fed her baby home cooked organic lentil stew blessed with fairy farts or something. I think I wound her up by asking what was wrong with Munch Bunch yogurts grin

maja00 Mon 05-Aug-13 11:24:02

I love this grin A sneery thread all about how some other people are sneery.

Why not just parent however you want, and not worry so much about what other people do?

FridaKarlov Mon 05-Aug-13 12:16:38

I guess I subscribe to some attachment parenting principles (breastfeeding, co-sleeping, using slings) but that's because I'll do anything for an easy life rather than because I'm a lentil weaver. Parenting smuggery is just... Ugh.

TheSecondComing Mon 05-Aug-13 12:22:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Analytical Armadillo?

RedbreastRobin Mon 05-Aug-13 12:29:27

"I must admit (going off my own experience of friends parenting 'styles') the gentler the parent the more irritating the child..."

Just: wow.

I reckon any parenting style that has a 'label' will always attract sneery nobbers. Because, by calling it anything, you automatically divide the world into 'us' and 'them', and of course 'us' are right and 'them' are everyone else and therefore wrong.

Even if something works, and is a basically decent idea, as soon as it gets a 'name', people will talk about it as if it was a philosophical belief system, instead of a 'Hey try this you might find it works ok for you' suggestion.

RedbreastRobin Mon 05-Aug-13 12:30:34

I subscribe to a lot of pages/blogs such as the ones mentioned....and I have never seen outright sneers about other peoples children. Plenty on this thread though. Speaks volumes.

RedbreastRobin Mon 05-Aug-13 12:32:50

...and if by reading them you are ending up in such a state then perhaps don't read them? A lot of judgement comes from within, and it might be an idea to explore why reading about gentler parenting is provoking such a reaction. Just an idea smile

thebody Mon 05-Aug-13 12:32:51

if you subscribe to any 'parenting ethos' then its obviously all about you isn't it as babies are individual and unique and don't fit a pattern.

it's a dam shame that parents are so gullible that they actually don't realise that some 'parenting expert' is selling them books and kak

Turry Mon 05-Aug-13 12:32:57

Ah, TheSecondComing, that's just so, so true! I dote on me dd - don't we all! - but not convinced sitting their like a wet lettuce while she runs towards me expressly to smack me in the face, then runs off again (as friend's daughter does to her) would be doing either of us any favours... hmm

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