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to smash in my own door?

(73 Posts)
Khaleasy Sat 03-Aug-13 15:50:17

OH has anger issues, most of the time he is fine but he'll lose his temper at ridiculous things and then storm around. Already in a bad mood, he is driving round town and can't find a parking space - cue swingy, swervey, heavy-acceleration driving. The lights go on amber and he doesn't stop, so I ask him - calmly - please stop at the lights. He does an emergency stop just in time.
I don't want to be in the car with him when he is driving like this, this is the second time in three days he's been driving in a way I don't feel safe in. I ask him to pull over and let me out. With much cursing, he does so and I get out and start to the bus stop - he drives away.

I realise that he has the only keys to the house (mine are in the house) so text him "Can you leave my keys outside if you leave the house" knowing full well he will strop off somewhere.

I finally get home on the bus - to find door locked, him gone and no keys.
It is pissing it down with rain. He is unlikely to be back for hours.

The neighbours - who have a spare key - are out. His parents, who have a spare key, aren't picking up the phone.

Our door is an old lead, glass and wood affair and we have previously had to knock in a pane of glass to break in. After 15 minutes of calling around and getting wet I end up breaking the (already cracked) pane of glass to get myself in.

OH will go BALLISTIC when he comes back. (He's already smashed it twice when locked himself out).

WIBU? Should I have just waited?

Note: OH lovely lovely man, 99% of time before I get lots of LTB!

MissAntithetic Sat 03-Aug-13 15:51:19

Sounds it!

MissAntithetic Sat 03-Aug-13 15:51:53

To be honest. If he has smashed it before then he can't really say anything about you doing it can he

Gruntfuttocks Sat 03-Aug-13 15:53:08

Lovely man, eh? Doesn't sound like it to me. So far we have repeated damage to your house, dangerous driving, abandoning you in the rain. What's next?

Sirzy Sat 03-Aug-13 15:54:26

I would have done the same.

There again I know you say he is nice 99% of the time but it only takes 1% for you to be injured. It would be ringing alarm bells to me even if it was just to get him to get proper help.

Khaleasy Sat 03-Aug-13 15:54:49

I asked to be left in the rain (well, kind of - it was sunny when I got out the car! Else I may have just put up with his driving for another five mins if I'd known! grin)

mynameisslimshady Sat 03-Aug-13 15:54:57

Even if he is lovely 99% of the time it doesn't mean its ok to be that much of a wankstain for 1% of the time.

Khaleasy Sat 03-Aug-13 15:55:43

He would never ever ever hurt me but even so I am considering the options for getting him help. I don't want him to grow into being his father (who is really angry/grumpy)

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Aug-13 15:56:36

I'm not one of these LTB lazy posters

But seriously the man sounds like an utter fucking child

I hope he loses his licence before he hurts/kills someone

As for smashing the door, it's your door too and if he's had to break in, in the past he shouldn't be angry that you've had to do the same thing.

Just repair it or pay someone else to do it.

currentlyconfuseddotcom Sat 03-Aug-13 15:56:58

Is there someone nearby that you can wait with? I had a similar situation - I ended up calling a locksmith. 'spensive.

HeySoulSister Sat 03-Aug-13 15:57:17

Get used to taking your keys with you from now on.... Twice in 3 days? Downhill from here with this 'lovely' man I think..

He may be lovely most of the time but you're posting describing some worrying behaviour and sound worried by the reaction you're going to get from him when he gets home..

He abandoned you and drove off then ignored your text and left you locked out of your house..

Khaleasy Sat 03-Aug-13 15:58:16

Having just phoned around for a quote on broken pane (£100!!! for a 10cm by 10cm pane of glass!) I wish I'd called a locksmith! would have been cheaper and I could have locked OH out for revenge

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Aug-13 15:59:12

He needs to get himself help

It's not going to work if you do it for him.

And as for saying he'd never hurt you, driving like a toddler in a tantrum is quite likely to lead to that, and possibly seriously so.

ImperialBlether Sat 03-Aug-13 15:59:45

This sort of thread always makes me question my decision to get a divorce. My marriage wasn't 1% as bad as this!

OP, you are painting a very poor picture of your husband. He sounds vile. Yes, I'm sure he CAN be nice, but that's worse, isn't it, when he makes that decision not to be?

LingDiLong Sat 03-Aug-13 16:00:50

So you are sat here, second guessing yourself and worrying about your OH's reaction when he discovers the door is smashed. A door that he has previously smashed himself. A door that you should have been able to unlock if he hadn't gone out without leaving you keys.

Can you see how his appalling behaviour is effecting you OP? You should be raging angry with him. You shouldn't even be questioning your own behaviour in all of this. You sound cowed and bullied. He has clearly already hurt you - even if he hasn't laid a finger on you (yet).

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Aug-13 16:01:37

He didn't abandon her

She asked to be let out of the car

If he'd refused and locked her in the car, that would be worse would it not?

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Sat 03-Aug-13 16:02:13

You can do that yourself for less then a tenner. Carefully remove all of the broken glass. Measure the pane, go to your local glass place and they will cut it for you. Tack it into the frame and cover with putty.

Your OH has real issues. As said, it doesn't matter how lovely he is 99% of the time if he's intimidating for the other 1%. It's no way to live, you must be on edge all the time just waiting for an outburst sad

diddl Sat 03-Aug-13 16:02:42

if he's lovely for 99% of the time, it won't take much effort for him to add on that 1%, will it?

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Aug-13 16:03:33

It can't be £100 just for a pane of glass?

Most big DIY stores will cut the glass for you

You can fit it yourself with some silicon sealer

Khaleasy Sat 03-Aug-13 16:05:27

He's recently been promoted and his new manager is being really hideous to him at work. I know thats not an excuse, but thats been making his life really stressful at the moment.

I'm not scared of his reaction - but I wasn't sure if I was BU. Now that I have confirmation I'm not, I can argue my case!

Khaleasy Sat 03-Aug-13 16:05:56

nah, £100 for it to be fitted too

HeySoulSister Sat 03-Aug-13 16:06:03

Do it yourself!'

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Aug-13 16:08:01

He's recently been promoted and his new manager is being really hideous to him at work. I know thats not an excuse, but thats been making his life really stressful at the moment.

Then why offer it up as one?

LingDiLong Sat 03-Aug-13 16:08:11

But you shouldn't need our confirmation! It's so glaringly obvious that you're not being unreasonable...your head has been seriously fucked with if you can't see that.

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