My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To think you don't gate crash someone's dinner party?

39 replies

FuckingWonderwoman · 03/08/2013 13:38

OK, dinner party sounds a bit poncey, but I had everyone in my office round for dinner the other night. It was specifically for my team, no spouses, partners or whatever. I have a friend who works in the same building but in a different office, who wasn't invited to the dinner (she comes round quite often for drinks/dinner etc anyway) as she has nothing to do with us, workwise. Anyhoo, she bumped into some of my colleagues on the way out. They said they were coming to mine. She said, oh great, I'll come too, I've got nothing else on. She texted me and said "FYI I'm crashing your dinner." Unfortunately I didn't pick up the text until about 30 seconds before she arrived, so I couldn't say, no you're fucking not.

I was extremely pissed off about this, and was a bit frosty with her (but she is quite thick skinned, so probably wouldn't have guessed), but AIBU to think that this is really bad manners, and something you just don't do? I mean, if I had wanted her to come, I'd have asked her, FGS.

OP posts:
Report
mameulah · 03/08/2013 13:41

I agree. YANBU!

Report
GetStuffezd · 03/08/2013 13:48

That's so cringey! Why did she think that was ok???

Report
CaptainSweatPants · 03/08/2013 13:50

ha ha

she obviously thought you wouldn't mind

Report
flipchart · 03/08/2013 13:54

I'm guessing she thought it was an casual do and as she often comes around anyway it wouldn't make any difference if she came as well.
I wouldn't have done it.

Report
BackforGood · 03/08/2013 13:56

Well I agree with you, but you want to read how 'entitled' bad mannered people are on some of the wedding threads - it just beggars belief some people's lack of manners.

Report
FuckingWonderwoman · 03/08/2013 13:57

Captain, I think you're right - she really didn't think I would mind!

OP posts:
Report
AnnabelleLee · 03/08/2013 13:58

You were " a bit frosty with her"? Why didn't you say what are you doing here, you weren't invited? I wouldn't have let her in.

Report
Doubtfuldaphne · 03/08/2013 13:58

Grrr how rude! If it was drinks, yes. But dinner!
What did the others think?
I'd steer clear of her in future. She doesn't sound that nice anyway.

Report
InTheRedCorner · 03/08/2013 14:01

Weird behaviour and really rude.

Report
FuckingWonderwoman · 03/08/2013 14:03

Annabelle - I guess I was just being very "English" and non-confrontational. And as everyone was arriving, I didn't quite feel I could say "Why are you here?" I think it would have been embarrassing all round and possibly would have put a damper on the drunken frivolity ambiance.

OP posts:
Report
LaurieFairyCake · 03/08/2013 14:06

This is a bit sad. She clearly thinks you're close enough for you not to mind.

I have one or two friends who would do this - and I would do it to them too.

Anyone not close, rude definitely.

Report
FuckingWonderwoman · 03/08/2013 14:09

I would have minded less if it had been a group of friends - but then she would probably have been invited anyway. It was the fact that it was an exclusively work related dinner that made me seethe.

OP posts:
Report
BackforGood · 03/08/2013 14:10

I'd have gone for - 'Sorry, I can't see you tonight, we're having a Team get together - I'll give you a ring and we'll set something up'.
Not rude on your part at all - you were already doing something with a group of people that had a defined "criteria" if you like.

Report
lougle · 03/08/2013 14:16

She didn't know that though, did she? It's her fault she didn't know, but it's not as if she was told and came anyway.

Report
DioneTheDiabolist · 03/08/2013 14:17

I think you need to work to tighten the boundaries of this friendship. No doubt she thought it would be ok, but it wasn't. She needs to know that she cannot crash any of your gatherings. If you want her there she will be invited.

Report
kilmuir · 03/08/2013 14:20

cheeky mare

Report
YouStayClassySanDiego · 03/08/2013 14:23

How bloody rude!

When you opened the door what did you say other than 'why are you here'

Report
FuckingWonderwoman · 03/08/2013 14:25

She did know it was a work related dinner! The colleagues that she bumped into when she was leaving the building told her - they were apologetic to me that she had tagged along, and had said that it was a team dinner, but she didn't seem to think it would be a problem!

OP posts:
Report
FuckingWonderwoman · 03/08/2013 14:27

DH opened the door and said "Fancy seeing you here... this is FW's team dinner." She said "Yeah, I know, I've tagged along, her cooking's great and I didn't want to miss out." (I was in the kitchen.)

ShockShock

OP posts:
Report
Gruntfuttock · 03/08/2013 14:33

Well if she was that bloody brazen about it I like to think that I would have told her she couldn't "tag along".

Report
flipchart · 03/08/2013 14:38

I honestly think she saw it as a work/friends social thing which she is and hadn't realised it was a team only thing.

Let it go.

Report
YouStayClassySanDiego · 03/08/2013 14:39

I never cease to be amazed by the brass neck shown by some people.

What was the atmosphere like round the table and did she bring a bottle?

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

FuckingWonderwoman · 03/08/2013 14:42

She didn't bring a bottle, but she drank one.

I am letting it go, Flipchart. But she was told quite specifically that it was a team event.

OP posts:
Report
oldgrandmama · 03/08/2013 14:50

Crikey, what a bloody cheek! Thick skinned? Her skin must be like that of a rhinoceros (sorry to any rhinoceroses reading this - I'm sure you never gatecrash dinner parties round the watering-hole). I've have been LIVID. It wasn't just a get-together, with drinks, nibbles, bits and pieces, it was a DINNER PARTY! And a team even and none of her bloody business. You are right to be hacked off.

Report
YouStayClassySanDiego · 03/08/2013 15:00

How did you make it stretch to an extra mouth to feed?

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.