to let my children play with a tennis ball in the road

(157 Posts)
HopeClearwater Sat 03-Aug-13 11:15:27

Don't know what to do. We live in a small cul-de-sac of 3-bed semis. My dc are allowed to play with bat and ball outside at the widest part of the cul-de-sac. I can see them from my house. I don't let them play football there. An elderly neighbour is taking great exception to it, hates the ball rolling into his driveway (everything is open, tiny front gardens mainly converted to hard standing). He's just shouted at my younger child when the ball rolled into another neighbour's driveway.
He stands in his front room watching them when they play out and waiting for the ball to go somewhere he thinks it shouldn't.
I have a tiny back garden and my other neighbour complains when any balls land in his garden, so I feel that's out now as well.
I'm trying to be sympathetic to the old guy but I can't help thinking that he'd have spent his childhood in the streets of London and not stuck inside. He's shouted at me too, told me they shouldn't be playing out and it infringes his rights. I was very polite back but didn't actually agree or disagree with anything he said.
Help...

Altinkum Wed 07-Aug-13 22:33:11

Cravey you've took her comments personally, if you weren't making assumptions and speculating, the theirs no need to take offence to the OP, comments. They clearly weren't directed at you, and I disagree, their was no need for half of the assumption/people basing it on their own road situation etc....

I would be rude too if have of these comments were aimed at me, simply because 1/2 of them are fabricated or assumption based!!! Even when the OP has answered most of the assumptions based at her!!!

ilovesooty Wed 07-Aug-13 15:21:21

Op I totally think you have done the right thing in not allowing them on the rude

That's a different thread grin

Cravey Wed 07-Aug-13 15:14:35

Road even.

Cravey Wed 07-Aug-13 15:14:25

Altinkum your response is all very well, but I certainly wasnt rude or sarcastic, merely stated what I thought. Op replied in a way that came across as sarcastic. No need for it IMO. Op I totally think you have done the right thing in not allowing them on the rude.

HopeClearwater Wed 07-Aug-13 14:06:55

And he is a grumpy old git, although I did not use those words, so he won't be getting any tea or cake from me. His (very pleasant) wife can give him tea. I don't like blokes shouting at me, or my children. I bet he'd never have shouted at my DH.

HopeClearwater Wed 07-Aug-13 14:03:14

Ah Altinkum thank you for your kind words. I did slightly lose it further down the thread with the number of assumptions and the amount of speculation.

I put it on AIBU because I genuinely wanted to see what the range of responses would be. My children are no longer allowed to play out in the road now. I still harbour unfriendly feelings towards the old man who shouted at me and (separately) my kids rather than coming round and asking me about it calmly. But I will be polite.

Altinkum Tue 06-Aug-13 22:03:54

**Thanks everyone for your responses.
I don't let them play football as they can kick it really hard. I do take them out to the park etc but can't do it as much as they'd like. They are sporty outdoors kids and I'd like to keep it that way. But of course I don't want a neighbour dispute.
I am at the top of the close next to the widest part of the road, yes. There is not much to his front garden - grass, tree, bush under window - and another neighbour maintains it for him as a favour.
I grew up in a similar road; there were loads of us kids and we played out the whole time. Sad that I can't do it now with my children.
Some of the ideas upthread eg badminton, softer balls etc, are excellent. Thank you.**

This was the OP 2nd post, she took everyone's points of view on board, and liked the suggestions such as softer ball games etc...

She was then indicated with assumptions, more assumptions and blatant rudeness, I think I'd be sarcastic also, but then I've read all OP's posts and everyone else's, she's no more sarcastic than the next poster, or the posters making the assumptions/not reading ops posts.

It's really is six of one and half a dozen to the other.

Cravey Tue 06-Aug-13 21:52:50

But altinkum it's also shocking how rude and sarcastic some people are also. Such as the op.

YABVU

xylem8 Tue 06-Aug-13 21:15:23

No, I call kids brats all the time

Altinkum Tue 06-Aug-13 20:56:04

Correct, what also must be annoying his having a elderly man, watching the children playing out their own front house, incase the ball might go into his garden.

I don't see the issue, that the children might occasionally go into his garden to retreive a ball, just as log as minimal disturbance is done, and no damage at all is done.

However this man is waiting for them to put a foot wrong, hence why him standing at the front of his window.

It also isn't acceptable that he's shouting at these children. The OP is taking steps to prevent this.

My sister lives next to a elderly woman, who does this, even when my nieces are in their own front garden/back garden, children can't do nowt, nowadays, yet the elderly are the first to complain, about rudeness, telly watching kids etc...

Working front of house in a restaurant that caters for the elderly generation, it's unbelievably shocking how self entitled some elders are.

Cravey Tue 06-Aug-13 20:42:36

It doesn't matter how old the man is. They are on his property. That must be annoying. Op was rude, dismissive and sarcastic. No need for it.

Altinkum Tue 06-Aug-13 19:58:10

Xylem8, please don't insult our intellect by staing a meanie of the word, it's quite evident what you were meaning, by the wording on you're post!!!

Altinkum Tue 06-Aug-13 19:55:11

I don't blame the OP for being scarastic, after all loads of assumptions were made on her behalf and none even remotely correct, OP hast even said he's a elderly lonely old man, just a grumpy git, which might be quite fitting, after all the children are agin outside their own front window!!!

xylem8 Tue 06-Aug-13 19:23:04

'brats' is just a colloquial slightly disparaging term for kids.It doesn't neceassarily mean spoiled and badly behaved

MintyChops Tue 06-Aug-13 14:14:31

If she is as sarcastic and unpleasant to him then I'm not surprised if he is grumpy......

Cravey Tue 06-Aug-13 13:54:57

Lets face facts the op has responded with nastiness and sarcasm, the old boy across the street has every right to be annoyed if children are up in his driveway. It's private property. And re the thing about roads and kids etc, roads aren't safe. We all know that. Op was so so nasty to the poster whose child was hit by a car. It was uncalled for.

DidoTheDodo Tue 06-Aug-13 13:54:01

Theodora, you've said roughly what I was thinking.
I'm sorry to see so many people calling the old gentleman "Grumpy Old Git". Maybe he is lonely (which is why he is looking out of his window such a lot) and frightened and nervous about damage to property and things out of his control.
Perhaps the OP could pop round and ask him for a cup of tea - and discuss the children playing out issue over tea and cake. Well, it might work.

MintyChops Tue 06-Aug-13 13:49:54

Calling kids brats is not helpful and I think only one poster has done so. The Op has responded with lashings of sarcasm to others who have tried to say "Yes, I think YABU" and who have a concern for the safety of her kids.

5madthings Tue 06-Aug-13 13:00:17

We have lived here eight years, there has always been kids playing out, no accidents and no damage caused to any cars or property etc. Children can play out and not damage things and some areas are safe to do so. It depends where you live, the layout of the area, traffic levels etc.

kali110 Tue 06-Aug-13 12:57:15

I read thread and dont think calling them brats is needed. Dont mind kids playing out but think tennis ball in road is bu. you could have safest road and still have an accident. Def get foam ball so no risk of damage. I do think though that the bloke has right to be pissed by people continuously going in his garden especially if thats his living room.

Altinkum Tue 06-Aug-13 10:01:08

I'm not wound up, however it does piss me off.

People not reading the thread, making assumptions, wanting their "rights" calling children brats...

Then more assumption, added to that further assumption, etc...

theodorakisses Tue 06-Aug-13 09:50:35

Goodness, so wound up over an Internet story?

Altinkum Tue 06-Aug-13 09:43:51

Threads like this piss me off, some idiots on this thread!!!

I live in a cul de sac, about 30 or more children here, they play football, rounders, baseball, etc... Play on their bikes, scooters, sliders etc....

not every road is dangerous, out certinetly isn't, our estate has been here since 1901, and not once has their been a RTA in our road.

I don't see a massive issue, with kids retrieving a ball, as long as no damage is made to property.

Kids have rights to play out, be that in their streets, back gardens etc.... It first matter where kids go nowadays they will always be seen as the lower scale in humans. It's evident from this thread "that kids should be seen and not heard"

Luckily my kids play ball games Nd have a normal childhood without some twat saying otherwise.

If you don't want noise, children being children, I suggest you move to the country side!!!

Oh but then, that might infringe on you're rights.... To live in a place where children are seen and not heard!!!

Read the ducking thread, instead of making you're own pathetic assumption on the OP!!!

JenaiMorris Tue 06-Aug-13 09:14:39

OP, the question 'aibu to let my children play with a tennis ball in the road? ' rather invites responses mentioning RTAs, no?

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