To leave him to it?

(35 Posts)
ThoseArentSpiritFingers Sat 03-Aug-13 08:46:00

DSD pees the bed. I try helping, being supportive, doin hours of fucking research on here and online, suggesting all sorts of things to do, trying to be supportive and offer advice when he gets stressed out/de up when it happens. (Will point out though that he doesn't show he's fed up in front of her, I get the brunt of that). All I ever get is snapped at, told how stupid my suggestions are, the 1001 reasons why they won't work. Before I tried helping he didn't even have a waterproof sheet on the bed, and didn't think it would be useful until I bought one and put it on her bed.

Basically because I don't have children my suggestions and ideas can't be as good as his. Even though he doesn't have any.

So cue this morning, DSD has had an accident. While she's in the bathroom he starts with the talk like how can somebody have that much pee, because she went before bed and I got her up for a pee at 10pm. I tried to explain about hormones not being produced and get snapped at that he doesn't need a science lesson.

So I said that I'm not helping at all with this issue any more. I've tried helping and it's apparently not helping him, so I'm just going to leave him to it. He seems annoyed with me for being over dramatic. AIBU?

Dayshiftdoris Sat 03-Aug-13 13:07:16

My DS was 8 before he was dry at night and NO ONE was interested in seeing him - he could have been seen at 7 but he has ASD so after a chat with his paed & given that it is developmental disorder we decided to give him an extra 2yrs smile

We just used night time pants - the jury is out about them but seriously he could be wet twice by 1am - it's not worth it. Just let her have a stress-free bedtime otherwise you are going to have major issues.

I don't want to derail the thread, but it does surprise me that people are concerned about a child not being dry at night at the age of 5.

Neither of my children were. Nor was I for that matter.

I don't wet the bed now or have any problems in that department. Nor does my elder child: until about half a year ago it was important to make sure she went to the toilet immediately before lights out, but now it isn't necessary.

Why the assumption that there must be a problem, or is it the expense of nappies?

Ogg Sat 03-Aug-13 13:14:54

It affects 1 in 5 - 5 year olds - agree nappies seem the easiest way of dealing with this at least for a few more months.

Fanjango Sat 03-Aug-13 13:15:49

My eldest dd was not dry till she was 6. It's not uncommon and nothing to worry about . I used pull ups on her. Once she started to be more reliably dry we tried going without and she's never wet since. GPs won't worry about it till she's at least 7, 9 in some areas. By continuing this there is more work for you and stress for her hmm

DumSpiroSpero Sat 03-Aug-13 13:31:23

Has your DSD ever been dry at night or is this a 'relapse'.

I'm not sure if this would help, and it will sound 'woo' but we used CBT with my DD. She had been dry at night from about 2.10 - 4.8, but started bedwetting in the run up to starting primary school, often 5-6 nights a week and occasionally more than once a night. This went on for over a year.

We used positive affirmations yes, I know! so she repeated phrases like 'I am in charge of my bladder' 'I will wake up if I need to wee' etc, and as bonkers as it sounds it made a massive difference within a few weeks.

Obviously this won't work if she's not physically ready, but if you feel there might me an emotional aspect to it, it may be worth a try.

FrogsGoWhat Sat 03-Aug-13 13:51:47
Emilythornesbff Sat 03-Aug-13 15:32:29

Some good suggestions.
It's very common for a five yo to need a nappy at night. I would consider taking the pessure off her for a bit.
And it is absolutely 100% certain that she picks up on the adults' frustration. No shadow of a doubt. It will be very upsetting for he. Imagine being unable to control when you wee (it may come in time) and ppl around you being disgusted and irritated by that.
I would imagine she'll see the school nurse (they usually run the enuresis clinics) soon?
There's a whole lot of stress for this girl.

Bullygirl Sat 03-Aug-13 16:14:30

My DD is 6 1/3 and only just dry most nights. I try and get her to drink a lot during the day so she's fully hydrated then stop her fluids around 2hrs before bedtime. I also try really hard (difficult on rushed mornings) not to fuss when she hasn't . It really is just a matter of time. Try and be positive and supportive to her personally and your DP may follow your lead.

At 5 it is quite normal, two out of my three still had a pull up at night, and only wet it maybe once or twice a week.
Why is he putting her through the stress of trying to control something she seems to have no control over? Night time bladder control comes with age and maturity, get her back in pull ups for night, a couple a week isn't going to cost much.

ReginaPhilangie Sat 03-Aug-13 16:44:44

My dd1 at the age of 10 is still a bedwetter (every night)! All I can say is DryNites are your friend, over the years we've tried lots of different approaches that never worked. DryNites at least meant the bed was getting soaked through. A doctor won't do anything till she's 7, (we're only just being seen after being on the waiting list for fricking ages).

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