To think you should stay with a lost child?

(141 Posts)
NarkyNamechanger Fri 02-Aug-13 13:27:44

So yesterday I took the DC to a local lake/woodland area for a walk. They took bikes and scooters and we've been lots of times always sticking to the man made path around the lake/trees. They go ahead but never too far or out of sight or off the path.

About half way round ds2 scoots ahead and stops outside the playground and cafe area where we were stopping for lunch. He turned around and because this bit is much busier, he couldn't see me. I could see him in the distance but he panicked and started crying.

I saw a lady walking her dog approach him and after about 10 seconds she carried on. I sped up and got to him. I asked him what the dog walker had said' which was to ask him why he was crying, ds2 had said he couldn't see his mum and she'd just said 'oh I'm sure she'll be along in a minute'. Granted I was and he was fine but still... Shouldn't you stay and comfort a lost child?

AIPSB?

cushtie335 Fri 02-Aug-13 13:32:29

It wasn't her responsibility and you were "along in a minute" so I think YABU.

WineNot Fri 02-Aug-13 13:35:36

I would have stayed with him if he was crying...

WineNot Fri 02-Aug-13 13:35:50

Or upset at all....

ImNotBloody14 Fri 02-Aug-13 13:37:25

I think if he's a panicker you shouldnt let him go where he cant see you tbh.

She was right- you were along in a minute. She was probably trying to work out whether she was putting herself at risk by staying with him and risking you accusing her of trying to kidnap him.

livinginwonderland Fri 02-Aug-13 13:38:10

I would have stayed, but I know a lot of people wouldn't.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 02-Aug-13 13:38:16

What age is he btw?

Vivacia Fri 02-Aug-13 13:38:17

I always stay with lost children in situations like this.

PearlyWhites Fri 02-Aug-13 13:38:18

Cushtie is that what you would tell the police after a child had been abducted?
Op yanbu

ImNotBloody14 Fri 02-Aug-13 13:39:45

Why would cushtie be telling the police anything? confused

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 02-Aug-13 13:41:03

I would have stayed, but Cushtie is right, your child is your responsibility not the dog walkers.

Maybe she was in rush or had looked around and spotted you figuring you were on your way to him.

xylem8 Fri 02-Aug-13 13:41:20

I think it is a bit rich to not keep your dc under control and then criticise other adults for not taking good enough care of him!

BackforGood Fri 02-Aug-13 13:42:48

Whereas I think xylem has a point for this thread, in a general situation if I found a child who was lost then of course I would stay with them / help them do something about it.

cushtie335 Fri 02-Aug-13 13:44:09

No PearlyWhites it wouldn't because I would personally stay with a lost child, however, some people wouldn't. I wasn't the lady walking the dog's responsibility to stay with the child. Please don't try to infer that I'm some kind of unfeeling monster thank you very much.

PeoplesRepublicOfBerkshire Fri 02-Aug-13 13:44:38

I would have stayed with the child until I was sure the mum was with him.

Couldn't walk away from a crying child blush.

DidoTheDodo Fri 02-Aug-13 13:44:40

I'm in agreement with xylem on this one.
I probably wouldn't stay with a child - but might have alerted the café staff to him.

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman Fri 02-Aug-13 13:45:21

I suppose it depends on his age, I think more people would be inclined to stay with a 3 year old than say a 10 year old. I would have stayed regardless but can see why others wouldn't in certain circumstances.

Glad all was well in the end though.

NarkyNamechanger Fri 02-Aug-13 13:46:23

He was 7 last week and you're right he is a bit of a panicker if he can't see me but we are working on that and he really wasn't that far in front but the area just got suddenly busy with people and blocked his view back.

I hardly think that's 'out of control'. I guess I just can't imagine leaving an obviously upset person, adult or child, alone. Yes I could see him and was there very quickly but she wouldn't have known that.

Viviennemary Fri 02-Aug-13 13:47:00

A lot of people would have stayed. And I probably would have too. But on the other hand it seems as if he was in a busy area near a cafe. So he wasn't exactly far from help and in the middle of nowhere which would have been different. So I think YABU to be annoyed the walker just left him.

Twirlyhot Fri 02-Aug-13 13:47:17

I would stay. I might not approach the child though, just keep an eye from several paces away. People can be very agressive if they see you talking to their child.

It's not so much that the woman was being unreasonable not to stay with him, as it is a surprising thing to do - most people would find it hard to leave a crying child alone, particularly after having already stopped to ask if he was OK.

mindyourownbusiness Fri 02-Aug-13 13:50:22

If you were far enough away from him not to be able to relay to the woman by shouting or waving that he was with you , then you were far enough away for someone to have snatched him. If you are worried about that sort of thing don't let him get so far away from you that you couldn't do anything about it. Don't blame the woman either , for all you know she could have kept looking back or have been watching out of sight to make sure he was reunited with his mum.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 02-Aug-13 13:50:38

I'd have stayed but I think people are often wary of approaching upset children nowadays, especially men sadly.

But just think if she had stayed, you'd probably be posting 'some woman was so judgey yesterday because my son couldn't see me for 30 seconds' wink

whois Fri 02-Aug-13 13:51:01

He's seven? I thought you were going to say two or something. Kinda silly he cried about not being able to see you.

Gruntfuttock Fri 02-Aug-13 13:51:40

I think I would have worried that I would further panic the child by talking to him and /or staying with him, because most children have been told "don't talk to strangers" and also many parents are aggressive if you talk to their children (in fact I have been given filthy looks for smiling at a baby). I would, however, have been concerned enough to hang around to make sure that he was joined by a parent/carer.

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