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to not be able to stop thinking about this disgusting status?

(93 Posts)
vinisque Thu 01-Aug-13 18:57:21

A friend on Facebook (now deleted) wrote an unbelieveably offensive status yesterday evening. All my friends on Facebook are real friends who I believe are decent people so I was shocked and enraged at this.

"Fucking slag at co-op wouldn't serve me because I didn't have id... I hope she saves up all summer for a holiday with the girls and gets the shit raped out of her by the locals. Bitch."

It made me so angry I felt sick. I commented on the status saying "what a disgusting thing to wish on someone". Then I immediately deleted him. I'm annoyed at myself for deleting him because I can't see a reply or see if the status has been deleted. To be honest I feel like he's gotten away with it and I should have told him what a complete piece of shit he is. I can't stop thinking about it, what should I do?

RobotHamster Thu 01-Aug-13 19:01:34

Is he someone you're likely to see in real life? If I was due to see him soon I'd explain why I deleted him and why its such a disgusting thing to say.

sweetiepie1979 Thu 01-Aug-13 19:05:36

That's horrible, could his account have been hacked? I'd ask him outright and then break the friendship.

What a vile pig. You did the right thing.

Cutitup Thu 01-Aug-13 19:08:35

There seems to have been so many vile and violent social media messages directed at women recently.

It's so disgusting.

You did the right thing. Bravo.

Mia4 Thu 01-Aug-13 19:09:07

YANBU, though I'd probably have reported him to facebook first for an offensive post.

sorrelthemop Thu 01-Aug-13 19:14:55

The many vile and violent social media messages aimed at women recently are due to the widespread and easy access to pornography. But hey, people think porn is harmless and doesn't objectify women so what are we all moaning about? hmm

This is our liberal society......enjoy smile

vinisque Thu 01-Aug-13 19:19:20

I was in the process of reporting but I was on my phone and its crap, so I just posted the comment. His statuses are usually funny if somethings made him angry. Some wankers found it funny but I didn't. I feel like a need an apology or I need to make him cry or spit on his face and throw a drink on him.

runningonwillpower Thu 01-Aug-13 19:25:29

It's not just social media and misogyny.

Some people seem to believe they have an entitlement to over-reaction to the slightest perceived insult.

My inoffensive husband recently witnessed an act of mindless vandalism and was told 'why don't you fuck off and die of cancer'.

Ezio Thu 01-Aug-13 19:31:07

My friend works for the co op, she'd be spitting fire at that comment, its digusting to even think i.t, never mind say.

OrthodonticUrticaria Thu 01-Aug-13 19:40:35

I'm shocked just this week since Laura Bates was on air on the Jeremy Vine programme on Radio 2 about her Facebook Group "Everyday Sexism"
She aqcuitted herself beautifully on the show, but has since been th e target of vile threats just like this one. Not just off one crazy psycho, but from lots and lots of crazy psychos, threatening to rape her and degrade her in the most horrific ways with the most violent language I've seen.
Don't you have any mutual friends who could support your views on the status, if it is still there? (and can also let you know what else has been said?)
"Like" the Everyday Sexism page and post your former friend's comments there. You will get lots of support.

flatpackhamster Thu 01-Aug-13 19:54:49

sorrelthemop

The many vile and violent social media messages aimed at women recently are due to the widespread and easy access to pornography.

Doubtless you can back up that extraordinary claim with some serious evidence.

But hey, people think porn is harmless and doesn't objectify women so what are we all moaning about? hmm

This is our liberal society......enjoy smile

Given the alternative to a 'liberal' society, I'll take my chances with this one.

ageofgrandillusion Thu 01-Aug-13 19:54:55

Not convinced its porn sorrel. There will always be - and always has been - wankers like this about, thing is social media has given them the opportunity to vent their spleen to a much wider audience. Personally i think it is about the broader dumbing down and increasingly moronic nature of society.

WafflyVersatile Thu 01-Aug-13 19:58:23

Nothing especially dumbed down and moronic about this period of society either.

There was no golden age.

flatpackhamster Thu 01-Aug-13 20:00:36

WafflyVersatile

Nothing especially dumbed down and moronic about this period of society either.

There was no golden age.

THIS

MrsKoala Thu 01-Aug-13 20:07:04

That's so awful. How long have you known them? What an odd reaction.

Runningonwillpower - i agree, lovely exMil was in the post office and she didn't move along the line quick enough (there was about a metre between her and the person in front) and the man behind her said aggressively 'i'll separate you from your breath if you don't move up'. What a sinister thing to say over something so minor.

Sallyingforth Thu 01-Aug-13 20:28:04

There have always been disgusting, offensive people. They just didn't have any way of spreading offensive material except for very limited means like phone calls or letters.
Now there are social media that allow them to send their filth far and wide. I don't see that there is any solution to it apart from avoiding the media.

sorrelthemop Thu 01-Aug-13 20:33:05

'serious evidence' hmm

Just look around you. We're rapidly heading back towards the 70s in terms of attitudes towards women.

FridaKarlov Thu 01-Aug-13 20:37:08

I agree with Sallyingforth- in the past creeps would have had to have sent poison pen letters or make crank calls. It's just easier for them to be vile now, and to find like minded idiots who'll cheer them on.

WafflyVersatile Thu 01-Aug-13 20:45:35

It's not possible for me to compare by just 'looking around' me because in the 70s I was a small child. It's not a scientific approach and does not not give accurate results.

Things are changing for the better. Women have more rights and more freedoms but there is resistance to this. Not all men were sexist pigs in the 70s and now there are still plenty who are.

In the 70s you'd be laughed at by most men if you suggested a husband could rape his wife. Not so much now.

sorrelthemop Thu 01-Aug-13 21:20:26

I was around during the 70s and trust me we're heading back there regardless of our so called rights. Men's resistance to these rights is as strong as ever and they now have the internet by which to attack us.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 01-Aug-13 21:22:37

Thanks for sharing that. Welcome to MN

kali110 Thu 01-Aug-13 21:59:00

Harsh to blame it on porn. Keep seeing people saying blokes who look at or watch porn are sexist, rapist or gf beaters. This doesnt apply to all blokes!my partner looks at it, none of it is illegal or nasty and he is the biggest softee. He hates rapists and blojes who hit women he thinks they are scum. Hes type of bloke who would step in and help a stranger. What about the women who watch porn, does all the negetive views apply to them also?
There are always going to be nasty blokes out there, some just born that away and nothing to do with porn.

WafflyVersatile Thu 01-Aug-13 22:00:36

Well no I won't trust you because your perception does not equal evidence.

ShellyBoobs Thu 01-Aug-13 22:05:42

Men's resistance...

What? All of them?

hmm

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