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To feel very sorry for this wee boy and think my friend is wrong?

(53 Posts)
BrokenBanana Thu 01-Aug-13 13:14:22

So I often take my child to the park up the road from us, we see the usual faces there.
There's a little boy that comes up with his mum and sometimes his dad. The little boy must be about 4 and is so sweet and good natured, although he is very camp. He likes to take the female role in any game and takes great joy in all things girly. Personally I think he's so cute I could eat him! Whenever the dad comes up as well though he is so horrible to his son, puts him down and proper shouts at him when he wants to take the female role. He really is quite fierce, I would not want to be on the receiving end of his shouting.
My friend thinks the dad is right though, and if she had a little boy who was camp she would not in the slightest bit encourage it, said she would encourage more 'boyish' activities.

Ainu to think there is a good chance this boy is gay and shouting at him for playing games he enjoys is only going to give him issues further on in his life? Would you say anything to the dad? He honestly looks at his son as if he is such a failure to him sad

EugenesAxe Thu 01-Aug-13 18:53:10

My friend was a reception teacher and she definitely saw effeminate 4 year olds. I agree though it doesn't mean you are gay - I know a few grown effeminate men that aren't.

I think your friend is wrong, certainly. If he is gay then knowing his father is so anti is going to fuck him up isn't it? Either way, he's going to be confused about why his Dad is getting cross with him for doing stuff that he sees other children (girls, boys, whatever) doing and not being told off for. It's bound to affect his confidence - potentially could have far reaching effects.

Saying all that, I don't think I'd say anything.

Turniptwirl Thu 01-Aug-13 18:59:05

Yabu to think a four year old is gay because of what games he likes to play

But yanbu to think that it doesn't matter and kids shouldn't be forced into gender stereotyped roles

BadRoly Thu 01-Aug-13 19:05:23

I've only read the op but how sad hmm dc4 is just 4 and tells everyone at the moment that 'he's a girl' even though he knows he is a boy.

He raids his sisters' drawers for pink t-shirts and leggings. He plays with Barbies and has gone to bed tonight in a flowery pink nightie. Pink and yellow are his favourite colours.

He might be gay. He might not be gay. Frankly I do not care and suspect it is far too early for him to know either. We all just let it go and let him get on with it. If it's a phase, it will pass. If its more than a phase then we will still love him just the same and support him just the same.

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