To not let him go?

(167 Posts)
Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 09:45:21

My sister wanted to take 5 year old ds camping with her husband in in a couple of weeks. She had the idea that as they are going for a week, ds could go with them for the first two nights while dp and I had a mini break somewhere closeby and then picked ds up on the third day.

At first I was a bit unsure as he's so young and hasn't been camping yet, although I'm sure he'd be well looked after. I also wasn't too sure what we actually wanted to do ourselves this month with regard to holidays as we've not long got back from a week away and dp and I have a hotel booked at the end of the month too for my birthday.

I think that my sister has run away with the idea a bit as she'd started telling ds how at camping they'd go to the beach, he could help set up the tent, how many sleeps away it is etc and now ds is all excited, even though I hadn't actually said definitely yes.

I told my sister I'd discuss it with dp as it would depend on him as he'd be doing the drive down there (3 hours) as I won't drive on motorway by myself.

Anyway here's where it gets a bit complicated, I spoke to dp about it last night and basically, he checked his work planner and he's on call the week that they're going camping so won't be available to drive us down there or for us to have a mini break, but he's only on call because his boss asked him to swap the week. He is also going to a beer festival the first night of the camping trip and his boss is letting him have the first night off call for a favour as dp swapped.

Potentially dp could say he can't now swap but, he doesn't want to upset his boss as he could lose favours in the future, he's getting the first night off call to go to beer festival which also then kills two birds with regards to free weekends for us, and, the opportunity has now come up of us getting a free holiday flat for the followng weekend, so if dp swaps his week back, we won't be able to do that.

Hope that all makes sense. So I suppose potentially ds could still go camping but it would mean I'd just be at home on my own all weekend, then we'd have a 3 hour drive just to pick him up and miss the opportunity of a free weekend away as a family the following week.

Eyesunderarock Thu 01-Aug-13 10:21:43

That drive would always have been there though, from the beginning of the suggestion to go camping.
Or is it just a problem for you and your OH wouldn't have minded a 6 hour journey so his son could camp, in addition to working a full week?

MadBannersAndCopPorn Thu 01-Aug-13 10:21:55

Maybe ask a friend (or brother/ sis if you have) if they wanted to come with you (camping) for the second night.
You could treat the friend the first night- meal, cinema, drinks etc and they could drive you down next morning, spend the night with you, DS, sister etc doing camping stuff and you all go back together.
It is a lot of driving but doesn't bother some people (six hours over two days isn't so bad especially if you have a services stop)
I hate motorway driving too, especially the merging on bit..eeek!

Emilythornesbff Thu 01-Aug-13 10:23:10

Whatever you choose will be ok.
Have a good think about your solutions and then tell your DSis and ds what you've decided.
I HATE motorway driving. It terrifies me. For a few reasons that won't help Nyone to hear about.
But I have made myself do it and I feel stronger for that.
My tips are: travel at quiet/ ridiculous times to avoid speeding traffic (actually stupidly busy times have a similar effect but too much queuing)
When I can I take A roads or drive straight through central London.
Plan excessively so I don't feel rushed.

That doesn't mean you have to btw. I have a similar situation that I am struggling with. I haven't made up my mind yet but I'm keeping that to myself wink

TylerHopkins Thu 01-Aug-13 10:23:47

I don't even know if my car would make it either on motorway or on road If your car is not roadworthy then you shouldn't be driving it anywhere!!!

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 10:24:43

Oh be quiet Holly, I've already said being alone isn't the problem, I shouldn't have even said that as I won't be 'alone', I just meant that we won't be able to do the weekend away as a family which dp and I both want to do.

It would have made sense if dp and I were going to have a break somewhere close by but to do a 10, or even 6 hour drive just to pick ds up seems a bit much.

Emilythornesbff Thu 01-Aug-13 10:24:55

Frankly if some ppl didn't insist on driving like total cunts I'd be happy to drive to anywhere and back.
Racers, tailgaters, lorry drivers reading the fucking newspaper.....

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 10:27:16

Or is it just a problem for you and your OH wouldn't have minded a 6 hour journey so his son could camp, in addition to working a full week?

What the hell, first of all I work too. And secondly if you read my op properly, the initial idea was that dp and I would go away to somewhere closeby so it wouldn't have been 6 hours in one day. But that now can't happen because of on call/beer festival.

I asked for opinions but I wish people would READ my op properly before responding.

Eyesunderarock Thu 01-Aug-13 10:28:04

So if you knew that the camping place was so far away, why didn't you say no in the first place? confused

TylerHopkins Thu 01-Aug-13 10:28:49

Holly your post at Thu 01-Aug-13 10:19:00 grin

You sound like me. I have absolutely no patience with drama queens who constantly create more issues and problems for themselves. Attention seekers.

OP - that is not directed at you at all by the way.

Eyesunderarock Thu 01-Aug-13 10:29:34

Then if the situation is resolved, what are you asking exactly?
It might have been a possibility, now it isn't.
What answer were you looking for?

Eyesunderarock Thu 01-Aug-13 10:31:04

What a lot of fuss and outrage and strangeness over nothing much in particular. tell DS camping is off for this occasion and deal with the resulting tantrum if there is one.

minniemagoo Thu 01-Aug-13 10:32:04

Solutions where your Dh doesnt have to change his shift:
Drive on A roads (10hrs so you dont want to do this)
Ask sis/bil to meet you half way
Ask sis/bil to drop ds back full way
Ask sis/bil to drop ds to nearest train station (must be one closer than 5 hrs)
Ask a friend to drive in their car, give them petrol money
Ask sis/bil could they change campsite to a closer one, if they go often doing that this once for your ds shouldnt be too big a deal

You are fixated on your dh changing shift prob cause your nose is out of joint at your sis jumping the gun with your ds. Have a cup of tea, appreciate how lucky you are your sis is interested in your ds, plan on meeting up with friends etc without your ds!

Viviennemary Thu 01-Aug-13 10:32:55

Fair enough you are not confident about motorway driving. Quite a few people aren't. Agree with advice to take lessons but that's not going to help right now.

Not a good reason that you will be on your own at the weekend. Your dp seems to have work commitments and can't take him. It is complicated but it would be nice if your DS could go on the trip as he is obviously looking forward to it and wants to go.

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 10:34:56

So if you knew that the camping place was so far away, why didn't you say no in the first place?

BECAUSE, m sister had suggested that dp and I could get a hotel/camp somewhere closeby so that if ds got upset we'd be close to pick him up. We'd get a mini break to ourselves while ds had some fun.

That now won't be able to happen anyway because dp is busy so one of us will have to do the 6 hour or 10 hour drive. And if dp changes his on call week to do the driving it will mean we all can't go away the following week. How much clearer could I be, I'm fed up of repeating myself now. And also I DID NOT ever say yes to this camping trip, I said maybe once I'd discussed it with dp but dsis has gotten a bit carried away with the idea.

My car is roadworthy, but the clutch gets a bit hot after long journeys and dp is going to look at it but that doesn't mean it's not fine for work/school run but don't want my clutch going halfway down the motorway.

And thank you for helpful suggestions unfortunately I would not be able to treat a friend to meal drinks, would not be able to afford to do that and anyway there isn't anyone who would be able or who would want to do that.

Eilidhbelle Thu 01-Aug-13 10:37:04

Why not go camping with your son and sister then?

What a bizarre thread, why are you asking, sorry I`m with Holly on this one, youve mad me exhausted reading this.

Eyesunderarock Thu 01-Aug-13 10:38:06

then stop floundering and tell DS what's happening and why. It won't be the last time that things don't go according to plan for him.

ThisIsMySpareName Thu 01-Aug-13 10:39:51

You say the trains don't go close by, but what is the nearest station? If it is say an hour or 90 minutes away (and I don't believe there are many places - particularly places that have camping facilities that are more than 90 minutes from a mainline station), can your sis not drive DS to the station when you pick him up?

After all, she is the one who is so keen for him to go and you can build up the excitment with DS about the train journey back.

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 10:40:40

My nose isn't out of joint with my sister at all, she got a bit carried away before I'd said yes but she probably assumed it would be ok, plus she just does get excited about things.

She doesn't want to drop him back/meet him halfway understandably because it will disrupt her holiday.

Regarding trains I don't know where the nearest station is but I do know that when my sister got married down there a friend had to get a coach at the cost of around £50, two changes and an 8 hour journey, and still be picked up by sister in the nearest town.

Eilidhbelle Thu 01-Aug-13 10:42:32

So why don't you go with your son and camp with them? Then you get a weekend away and your son gets to go camping.

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 10:44:16

I don't have a tent, I don't think there is room in sisters tent, and even if I went I'd still have to drive there and back.

ThisIsMySpareName Thu 01-Aug-13 10:45:07

What is the nearest town?

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 10:46:55

I've checked out trains, nearest station is 57 minutes away, at a cost of £69.50 for one adult fair one way.

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 10:48:12

Nearest town is Minehead but no station there, nearest station is taunton which is an hour away.

Squitten Thu 01-Aug-13 10:48:19

I don't think YABU about the driving. It's obviously not convenient for many reasons.

You are however, seeimgnly looking for excuses not to do this without really looking into it. Never mind what your friend told you before, look online now and see where the nearest train station is and if that's manageable. Then ask your sister if she can drop your DS there.

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