To not let him go?

(167 Posts)
Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 09:45:21

My sister wanted to take 5 year old ds camping with her husband in in a couple of weeks. She had the idea that as they are going for a week, ds could go with them for the first two nights while dp and I had a mini break somewhere closeby and then picked ds up on the third day.

At first I was a bit unsure as he's so young and hasn't been camping yet, although I'm sure he'd be well looked after. I also wasn't too sure what we actually wanted to do ourselves this month with regard to holidays as we've not long got back from a week away and dp and I have a hotel booked at the end of the month too for my birthday.

I think that my sister has run away with the idea a bit as she'd started telling ds how at camping they'd go to the beach, he could help set up the tent, how many sleeps away it is etc and now ds is all excited, even though I hadn't actually said definitely yes.

I told my sister I'd discuss it with dp as it would depend on him as he'd be doing the drive down there (3 hours) as I won't drive on motorway by myself.

Anyway here's where it gets a bit complicated, I spoke to dp about it last night and basically, he checked his work planner and he's on call the week that they're going camping so won't be available to drive us down there or for us to have a mini break, but he's only on call because his boss asked him to swap the week. He is also going to a beer festival the first night of the camping trip and his boss is letting him have the first night off call for a favour as dp swapped.

Potentially dp could say he can't now swap but, he doesn't want to upset his boss as he could lose favours in the future, he's getting the first night off call to go to beer festival which also then kills two birds with regards to free weekends for us, and, the opportunity has now come up of us getting a free holiday flat for the followng weekend, so if dp swaps his week back, we won't be able to do that.

Hope that all makes sense. So I suppose potentially ds could still go camping but it would mean I'd just be at home on my own all weekend, then we'd have a 3 hour drive just to pick him up and miss the opportunity of a free weekend away as a family the following week.

whois Thu 01-Aug-13 09:48:16

Can't you take him down on the train to your sister? Then DP could drive to pick him up. Or you stay camping for the weekend too and make a nice time of it and get train home? Or man up about driving in the M-way on your own.

HollyBerryBush Thu 01-Aug-13 09:50:25

I fail to see why DS should miss out on fun because you will be alone all weekend. That is the crux of it, no mater how you dress it up. He's not your companion and amusement. Let him go away and have some fun...... or perhaps you could go camping too seeing as you have nothing else to do.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 01-Aug-13 09:51:02

Am I missing the point? You'd be at home alone for the weekend and that's NOT your idea of bliss? grin Would be mine!

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 09:51:27

The getting down there isn't a problem as he can go with sister, but she needs me to pick him up. Dp can't because he's on call all week.

I wouldn't mind train but train doesn't go anywhere near where they're going. And I can't just man up about the driving, I've got no motorway experience and when I have tried I feel as though I'm going to have a panic attack, it may sound pathetic to anyone who does motorways but I don't think I'd even be safe.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 01-Aug-13 09:51:35

And also..............what Holly said.

HarryTheHungryHippo Thu 01-Aug-13 09:52:44

Agree with holly

Ragwort Thu 01-Aug-13 09:53:34

Totally agree with Malcolm? What is the issue here - your DS will have a lovely time camping and you will have a nice brak on your own - what's the problem confused?

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 09:53:48

Sorry no I think you're misunderstanding, I don't mind being home alone I just mean it would be a bit of a dud weekend for us as a family whereas we can have a weekend away the following week if dp if dp doesn't swap his on call back, plus dp doesn't really want to tell his boss now that he can't swap.

Yes I could go (not sure if they've got room in the tent but could check) but I'd still have to drive, train not an option.

What is it about motorways that you can't deal with? If you dealt with the problem then there wouldn't be any issues regarding the camping trip.

HollyBerryBush Thu 01-Aug-13 09:54:20

Take the A road rather than the motorway.

Excuses again

thebody Thu 01-Aug-13 09:54:32

why don't you and ds go down and back on the train and camp together with your sis?

I can't do the motorway either. some fears you can't just 'man up' to.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Thu 01-Aug-13 09:54:55

Can't you just explain to your sister that there is no way you could pick him up? That's the crux of it surely?

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 09:55:06

I shouldn't have said I'll be home alone.

The problem is;

If ds goes camping then we won't be able to go away the following week as a family.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Thu 01-Aug-13 09:56:05

Or yes, drive and avoid the motorway? It's usually pretty doable.

HollyBerryBush Thu 01-Aug-13 09:56:13

I dont motorway drive unless I have to - no fear - I just prefer country lanes and pretty scenery and the ability to stop and take photos if I want to.

Im not buying the inability to drive there. Use another road

imnotmymum Thu 01-Aug-13 09:56:33

Dud weekend? Do you do something amazing every weekend?

thebody Thu 01-Aug-13 09:56:39

Binky, you don't know why the op can't go in a motorway. I can't as my dd nearly died on one. it's not something I expect the op needs to discuss really. if she can't she can't.

agree with Holly can't you go A roads?

The problem is you won't pick him up.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Thu 01-Aug-13 09:57:34

But that isn't true OP, it's only the case if your DH has to change his oncall because you can't pick him up. IF you found a way to pick him up then he could go and you would still be able to go away the following weekend?

Beautyatethebeast Thu 01-Aug-13 09:57:40

Maybe I DO need to deal with my fear of motorways, but I don't think a 3 hour drive in my banger with ds in the car is really the time to do that.

And train isn't an option, yes I suppose the A road is an option but I think it would take about 5 hours I'll check on the route planner.

The body, that's why I asked what the problem was.

gamerchick Thu 01-Aug-13 09:57:56

Could they not meet you at the nearest train station? You could collect him then.

TylerHopkins Thu 01-Aug-13 09:59:30

To all those who don't like motorway driving I would strongly recommend taking a couple of motorway lessons with an instructor. I did this the minute I passed my driving test and haven't looked back.
Seriously, go for it. Motorway driving really isn't that scary. I promise. Once you try it you will laugh at yourself and wonder what all the fuss was about.

So have you already made plans for the next weekend and told your ds about it?
Because clearly he knows about the camping and is probably looking forward to it.

Why would you then say he cant go because you want a family weekend next week?

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