To not tolerate being treated like shit "for the sake of the baby"

(17 Posts)
JaffaMyCake Tue 30-Jul-13 23:26:19

I've come to the realisation that my DH is frankly a shit after he canceled our much awaited "date night" by flat out ignoring me and staying out drinking with his mates - I've found this out via Facebook. This is not a first event and I'm reasonably sure he's checked out of our marriage.

I spoke to a good friend about the fact I'm pretty sure I'm going to leave him and she said I should try harder to work at it "for the sake of the baby".

AIBU to LTB? Personally, I don't think I'm doing baby DS any favours by staying with a man who clearly doesn't love me.

I'm sorry. He does sound likes shit & no child wants to grow up knowing that their existence prolonged misery.

DeepPurple Tue 30-Jul-13 23:29:15

There is never any point staying with someone for the sake of a baby sad

emsyj Tue 30-Jul-13 23:30:27

YANBU. My DMum stayed with arsehole biological father for way way too long - I wish she'd kicked his lazy arse out much sooner. I would have preferred to grow up with a happy mum, it would have been much easier and nicer for me.

MortifiedAdams Tue 30-Jul-13 23:30:54

A child really shouldnt be the glue that holds a marriage together - a boat load of.pressure for.one individual who didnt even know you when you decided to get together.

I have to say, I wouldnt stay in a bad relationship and that is purely because of dd - I would hate for her to ever feel like she HAD to stay in the wrong relationship.because I had done it and that is what she thought shpuld be done

YOu get one life. It is far far to precious to waste it on the wrong persob.

SunshineBossaNova Tue 30-Jul-13 23:31:49

YANBU at all. You shouldn't have to put up with this shit 'for the sake of the baby' - that's a pile of crap.

flowers

deleted203 Tue 30-Jul-13 23:32:47

I'd bin the 'good friend' at the same time, personally. She doesn't sound either helpful or supportive.

If you are reasonably sure he's checked out of the relationship, and you are pretty sure you are going to leave him, I wouldn't drag the entrails of your marriage through the dust any longer.

Start making serious plans for the future.

MangoJuiceAddict Tue 30-Jul-13 23:34:00

Never stay with somebody for the sake of the baby. He sounds shit and more of a hindrance than a help. Don't waste your time on him- enjoy your life with your son and focus all of your energy into your wonderful son rather than trying to hold things together with an arsehole. As emsyj said, it is better to grow up with a happy mum smile.

JaffaMyCake Tue 30-Jul-13 23:34:57

Thank you sad.

I just really think I will struggle to leave him, as shallow as it sounds he is super gorgeous and I will miss having someone to cuddle at night sad, genuinely don't think I will do better.

YouTheCat Tue 30-Jul-13 23:38:57

Yes, you will 'do better'. In time you might find a decent human being who treats you with some respect.

Looks fade in time. Get a teddy to cuddle.

Lonelybunny Tue 30-Jul-13 23:40:30

How old is DS?

DC tend to do as we do, not as we say. If you want the baby to end up with someone gorgeous but frankly selfish and unloving... don't LTB. You will do better, I promise.

MortifiedAdams Tue 30-Jul-13 23:42:25

You will do better just by not sticking with this self involved arse, adonis or not!

MangoJuiceAddict Tue 30-Jul-13 23:44:16

You will do better! Your self-esteem has probably taken a knock and you're used to your husband so probably can't imagine being with somebody else but you will be fine. And when you look back and think of what a shit personality he has you'll no longer find him attractive wink.

cranverry Tue 30-Jul-13 23:44:16

YANBU you definitely shouldn't stay with someone who treats you like shit for the sake of your child.

TalkativeJim Tue 30-Jul-13 23:45:29

You don't think you could do better than a selfish shit who cancels an arranged night out by simply not turning up, with the person he's supposed to love and who he lives with, with his child?

My dear, you would do better simply by having a cardboard cut-out of Peter Andre propped up on the sofa. At least it would actually be there...

So he's gorgeous... um, no he's not. And you'll be sorry you stayed once the jowls are sagging, the nights out have long since stopped and you get to hold hands on the sofa and reminisce about the good old days... with a man who spent those good old days treating you like shit.

LittleBearPad Tue 30-Jul-13 23:46:00

Um. You don't think you'll do better than a bloke who treats you badly... You will, even if they aren't as good looking they will be worth so much more.

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