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AIBU?

to want to strangle my 11 year old dd

109 replies

BellaTalbert · 30/07/2013 19:50

Need to vent as would happily like to strangle my dd as she is currently screaming and crying in the kitchen as well as trying to make herself vomit.

My dd has just had a friend around for dinner and after her friend left I asked her to help me with the washing up. My dd then totally lost it screaming that she has "bloody children's rights" and that its slave labor.

I am apparently a child abuser and the worst mother in the world. I warned her that if she continued to shout etc then she would lose her phone which now as she has lost.

My mother would have killed me if I every spoke to her like this at this age. Where did I go wrong???

OP posts:
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Scrubber · 30/07/2013 20:05

Kids these days! I blame the parents! Grin

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foslady · 30/07/2013 20:08

Suggest she goes to her room - NOW. And as children have rights, so do adults. No breakfast cooked, tell her no clothes washed, ironed, etc, phone contract will be cancelled/not credited.......and suggest that maybe a few pots being washed is a cheap option. Sometimes you have to let rip. OK, she's disappointed about the sleepover, but basic respect is a non negotiable for me

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foslady · 30/07/2013 20:09

And here Wine you deserve the bottle!

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LindyHemming · 30/07/2013 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buzzardbird · 30/07/2013 20:11

What sleepover?

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BlackeyedSusan · 30/07/2013 20:15

i think you may haave gone wrong by allowing her to live to 11 already. those pesky hormones will make an appearance.

sounds like you arre doing ok with consequences. if you are going to be an evil mother, you may as welll be a really evil mother.

look on the bright side. you will be though the worst and coming to post advice when dd is doing the same. Grin

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foslady · 30/07/2013 20:15

Sorry - I'd crossed this with another OP - it's been a long day.......[goes off in search of wine emocon!]

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Heartbrokenmum73 · 30/07/2013 20:16

I wonder if it's Official 11 Year Old DD Kicking Off Day? Mine did the same thing today when I asked her to wear shorts to the park rather than a skirt for practical reasons. Apparently her One Direction t-shirt looks weird with her shorts because it's too long. It's the same length as many of her other tops (which I pointed out) and it looks worse tucked into a brown, cord skirt (which I also pointed out) but what do I know?

In the end (after shouting and arguing with me) she changed into her shorts and changed her top too and had calmed down within 5 minutes. I think we're getting a taste of what's to come...

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shoofly · 30/07/2013 20:17

Wine - for you, then send her to her room to calm down and stack the dishes for when she does calm down

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MrsSippy · 30/07/2013 20:18

Does she normally help with the chores? If not, get a job rota stuck on the fridge door to get her into the habit of helping out.

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daisychicken · 30/07/2013 20:22

My DS - also 11 - is exactly the same... and I've had it today as well (in fact every day for a few weeks now) - its horrible and I'm reaching a point of not knowing how to deal with it...(!)

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valiumredhead · 30/07/2013 20:23

We had the same last night, the drama!!Hmm

Ignore ignore ignore!

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daisychicken · 30/07/2013 20:23

MrsSippy - we have chores in our house and is expected of both DS's - makes no differnce with the 11yr old, he just doesn't care and I'm the only mum who expects chores to be done etc etc...... drives me insane......

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LindyHemming · 30/07/2013 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marriedinwhiteisback · 30/07/2013 20:53

Mine are older but I seem to remember putting the childline number on the fridge once and then they switched the innocent magnets to spell F.U.C.K. And blamed their dad.

Don't you just love being a parent :)

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Midlifecrisisarefun · 30/07/2013 21:22

Mine is 25 and doesn't even live at home and I could quite happily maim or murder.... He is the cause of my grey hairs... It doesn't always get better!! [not helpful emoticon]
Grin

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AgentZigzag · 30/07/2013 21:26

Hahahaha my mum would have killed me too if I spoke to her like that, didn't stop me Grin

Sorry to laugh at your misfortune Grin

Mine's 12

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daisychicken · 30/07/2013 21:30

Sad don't say that Midlife!!!!!!

If it wasn't for the fact that DS1 shares a room with DS2 then I'd perhaps step back from bedroom tidying (only wash clothes in basket, no sleepovers unless room tidy etc) but I feel it's wrong for DS2 (8yr) to have to deal with DS1's mess... If there was anyway to magic in another bedroom I'd do it!!

OP - my DS's have to help unload/load dishwasher and wash up if I ask so your DD isn't completely alone in the world of child slavery!! Wink Grin

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LindyHemming · 30/07/2013 21:30

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillyMoo1113 · 30/07/2013 21:36

It must be the day for it.

DF wanted me to help him look for curtains this afternoon, so I informed DS 11 that we were going with him. He screamed and cried half way to the bloody shop as he didnt want to go.

The wine was opened very soon after tea......

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marriedinwhiteisback · 30/07/2013 22:15

Oh I feel for her Euphemia. Bet it was friend's parents who chickened though. Can you do something let her do something grown up? Go on, let her have her ears pierced :)

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PareyMortas · 30/07/2013 22:21

My 11 year old dd has been beautifully behaved, even made me a cup of tea unprompted Grin

Runs away cackling

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dementedma · 30/07/2013 22:21

Have survived two horrible dds at the dreaded 11_14 stage. Watches 11 year old Ds with interest to see what happens. So far, we have had a bit of door slamming and resistance to bed time but otherwise calm.

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mumofthemonsters808 · 30/07/2013 22:28

Something is in the air because my DD who is 11 in August is behaving like a spoilt brat. Every time I ask her to do something ( i.e. clothes in the laundry basket after a shower, instead of the unpaid maid picking them up) it is followed by lots of allegations that I hate her so much, I am always nasty to her, never speak nicely to her,I am not like anyone else's Mum. I've come to the conclusion, it is an avoidance technique that distracts me from the job I want doing and draws me into a confrontation. Glad to hear it is not just us.

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MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 30/07/2013 22:32

How weird! Work colleague's 11 year old DD called her at work today ' Can my mate's mum's friend pierce my ears round her house?' 'No.' Cue a hilarious video this evening of said DD wailing her head off!

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