to want to strangle my 11 year old dd

(110 Posts)
BellaTalbert Tue 30-Jul-13 19:50:30

Need to vent as would happily like to strangle my dd as she is currently screaming and crying in the kitchen as well as trying to make herself vomit.

My dd has just had a friend around for dinner and after her friend left I asked her to help me with the washing up. My dd then totally lost it screaming that she has "bloody children's rights" and that its slave labor.

I am apparently a child abuser and the worst mother in the world. I warned her that if she continued to shout etc then she would lose her phone which now as she has lost.

My mother would have killed me if I every spoke to her like this at this age. Where did I go wrong???

bigbuttons Wed 31-Jul-13 22:38:55

one of my children dialled 999 when he was about 4 because I wouldn't give him and ice cream!

I'm a counsellor at ChildLine. Generally if a kid calls ChildLine to complain about their parents (which doesn't happen that often at all, really, so a lot of the time they probably chicken out after they get through and either put the phone down or talk about something totally different) then we ask a load of questions to sort out the situation properly (it's usually pretty clear from the beginning if they're in the wrong) then we sort of try to go through it with them step by step about why perhaps mum might have said no, you can't ride your bike on the roof/eat four ice creams in one day/punch your sister etc. Sometimes they sort of start to get it, sometimes they hang up when they don't get the answer they want. grin

But our confidentiality policy anyway is that we don't pass any information on unless someone is in life-threatening danger, or if they tell us about an abuser who's in a position of power over children (like a teacher or a coach) or if they ask us to...and most kids aren't brazen enough to go through with asking us to contact the police or social services on their behalf over this sort of thing, so if they say they'll call ChildLine on you, hand em the phone! We're quite happy to listen to them be righteously indignant for a few minutes down the phone to us so you can take a few minutes breathing and trying not to kill them. smile

daisychicken Thu 01-Aug-13 09:21:30

I'm just waiting for the day Glitterandglue!! grin grin

GhostsInSnow Thu 01-Aug-13 09:57:57

I have a door slamming, home leaving teenage DD (though to her credit she hasn't left home since she was 5). The door slamming unfortunately happened as I was behind her with my foot on the threshold of her bedroom door..... One broken big toe and a very very sheepish DD later and she spent the next 4 weeks waiting on me. Yes, I may have over egged how long I needed to be immobile with her, but oddly she hasn't slammed a door since....

The leaving home. That day dear Mumsnet DH and I were left looking rather ridiculous.

She was 5. I can't recall why she was going, but she'd packed her best Blues Clues backpack and she was off. Smirking to DH I let her go, opened the door reasoning she'd walk to the end of the drive and stop. She got to the end - and carried on. It's ok because we can see a fair way down our street. She was marching along, determined little thing, and she kept bloody marching. As she disappeared around the corner some 50 yards down the road I told DH he'd best go get her.

Now, this was evening and all DH had on was his loungepants and T Shirt (stripy loungepants at that) so when he hopped in the car that was his attire. It wasn't until he pulled level with a still stubbornly marching DD that he realised he couldn't get out in his PJ's. He wound the window down and ordered her in the car. She ignored him. This carried on for another 50 yards or so with DH cruising along and DD refusing to get in the car. Finally she agreed but DH spent the rest of the night waiting for the Police to turn up to accuse him of kidnap.

Whereisegg Thu 01-Aug-13 17:26:51

Thanks for that Euphemia.
Really encouraging...

Euphemia Thu 01-Aug-13 18:01:35

grin

tittytittyhanghang Thu 01-Aug-13 18:51:56

You are all terrible mothers. Your children are just testing boundaries. What they need is someone to gently guide them to the right path of loveliness.

Thats all BS. YANBU. ds1 (13) can make me go from lentil weavy laid back mum to psycho bitch in 0.2 secs

valiumredhead Thu 01-Aug-13 20:22:43

I'm tempted to guide ds into next week at timeswink

I'll be sticking the Childline number up for my Dd then. She can complain to Glitterandglue about having to tidy her room.
She's 8.5 and Mrs Drama queen and a proficient procrastinator already. How I now will look forward to age 11, thank you all sad

daisychicken Fri 02-Aug-13 18:09:37

He's been horrible all day...

none of his friends were coming out to play, didn't have anything to read (when I said we've just been to the library, why didn't you get something.. he replied they have boring books.....), he was BORED(!) I offered a job and it was turned down(!) A friend then did come round and they snuck into the garage (not allowed due to dh's work tools) and have spilt (how??) white paint....

He's now throwing himself off his high-bed and apparently 'I won't take him to hospital if he breaks his leg...' He wasn't amused when I said I'd take him but make sure everyone knew how he did it and they'd laugh(!)

When will it get better????? or am I going to be the tee-total mum turning alcoholic??!

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