does anyone actually "save the day"?

(68 Posts)

Not really a thread about a thread as such, but there seem to be a lot about "save the day" cards, Woulds you really "Save the Day" because you were sent a card like this? I would definitely avoid arranging anything on a close friends/ relatives wedding day but I would expect to be told about the wedding in person, not by a card through the post. If I wanted to book a holiday or do anything really, I wouldn't not do it because someone that couldn't be bothered to tell me in person (in other words, someone that I don't see/ speak to regularly) had sent me card in the post, that from what people are saying on here, doesn't always mean that you are going to get a proper invite, if any, anyway.

tabulahrasa Wed 31-Jul-13 12:00:43

I've only ever had one - and I knew when the wedding was months before I got it and that I was going to be invited, so it seemed a bit pointless really.

Though I don't have enough things going on that I've ever had a wedding clash with anything else anyway, lol

notso Wed 31-Jul-13 11:55:36

I've just been told off by MIL because she saw SIL's save the date magnet was in the bin.
The date has passed and it was in Las Vegas so we couldn't go anyway hmm

I also got told off for putting photo thank you cards from new baby gifts and weddings in the bin. I am supposed to keep them in an album apparently.

freddiefrog Wed 31-Jul-13 11:44:20

We sent save the date cards when we got married. We have family dotted all over the place and we booked our venue a year in advance so wanted to give people as much notice as we could

We then sent proper invitations nearer the time and included loads of information once our plans were finalised (I made a block booking at a local hotel so guests could get discounted rates, we organised mini buses as our venue was out in the sticks so guests could leave their cars at the hotel, etc, etc)

We only sent them to people we invited though, it's unspeakably rude to send them to all and sundry and then whittle down the guest list when you send invites out

MidniteScribbler Wed 31-Jul-13 11:30:45

I think they're good, but until I've rsvp'd to an actual invitation, I may choose to accept another invitation. I won't schedule my holidays around a wedding though, my holidays are at set times and a family holiday trumps a wedding..

DoctorRobert Wed 31-Jul-13 11:27:58

What happens though if a friend asks you to "save the day" you say you've saved it; and then your brother (or such like) announces his wedding and obviously you then have to backtrack.

You don't formally RSVP to a save the date. It's just a heads up. So if your brother then announced his wedding for the same date, you don't need to backtrack on anything - you just RSVP that you can't attend when the actual invitation arrives, as you would have done had there been no save the date in the first place.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 31-Jul-13 11:25:44

Shelly

Actually, giving someone an STD is the height of poor manners, so I've changed my mind

<arf>

DoctorRobert Wed 31-Jul-13 11:19:23

We sent out save the date emails 9 months prior to our wedding. (designed like a save the date card, but emailed to save money.)

We had a very small wedding with just close family (20 of us) so we really wanted to make sure that everybody was going to be available.

To answer your question OP, when we receive a save the date, yes, we save the date. I would assume to be invited after that, and would be pretty pissed off if subsequently wasn't!

OrangeLily Wed 31-Jul-13 11:07:56

When I made mine I got something's me 500 (unnecessarily large quantity) business cards from a website doing an offer. Only paid £1 something for postage.

Then put them in Christmas cards and gave out by hand.

Cost a total of £1 something and that was it!

nkf Wed 31-Jul-13 08:20:26

After reading one of the many STD threads, I googled them (yes, I have very little to do.) One of the bridezalla sites said it was important to get them right because they give your guests the first indication of the type of wedding you were having. Yeah, that's right. I pore over them, gleaning the indication. Start thinking about my outfit. Er, no. I stick them on the noticeboard in the kitchen.

meditrina Wed 31-Jul-13 07:43:05

You don't need to pay for a card to give someone a heads up that you will be inviting them to an event (that's marketing). A card is a replacement for a letter, so you can just write giving date and location information (and anything else you think guests need to know early on) and that an invitation will follow.

Of course, those you see, ring or email frequently can be told by those mean, and then it doesn't even cost a stamp.

marriedinwhiteisback Wed 31-Jul-13 07:43:02

What happens though if a friend asks you to "save the day" you say you've saved it; and then your brother (or such like) announces his wedding and obviously you then have to backtrack.

Whatever happened to sending the invitations 6-8 weeks in advance and if folk were away, otherwise engaged, then they simply had a previous engagement. That's what we did 23 years ago and oddly enough only one one couple couldn't come because of a pre-booked holiday.

megsmouse Wed 31-Jul-13 07:34:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDoctrineOfAllan Wed 31-Jul-13 07:31:23

We sent them because people were asking my parents what the date was, plus we flagged no children on the save the date six months ahead.

Happiestinwellybobs Wed 31-Jul-13 07:06:01

I have received two: one for a friends wedding which was helpful as we do tend to get booked up at this time of year. I put it on the calendar and have kept the day free.

The other was from husband's cousin who sent us one 18 months prior to the day. However the wedding is abroad and I genuinely don't think we're expected to attend. When I joked with his family whether they were paying for us to go (as I wasn't sure why I needed to save that date) I was told that I was being beyond rude confused

louwn Wed 31-Jul-13 06:57:09

I made my own too - bought a personalised stamp (about 20 quid), a fancy shaped hole punch and some ribbon - done! Postage costs were more than making the cards I would have thought! As others have said, if getting married on a popular date they are very useful.

LouiseD29 Wed 31-Jul-13 06:39:38

nfk - ours were designed by my sister and printed by my mum, so just the cost of the card, ink and postage.

LouiseD29 Wed 31-Jul-13 06:38:09

We had a limited capacity at our wedding venue so we sent save the date cards so that people who definitely couldn't make it would let us know and we could then open the invite up to a few more people who we couldn't originally fit in. The invites were from my parents so wouldn't really have worked to call everyone up. They were only for people who were definitely invited though - wouldn't have dreamt of sending a save the date and then not an invite - that would be awful.

nkf Wed 31-Jul-13 06:34:10

How much do they cost?

Morgause Wed 31-Jul-13 06:28:34

A young friend sent us a "Save the Day" card saying it was for the wedding and the evening do. She also sent me a text, a message on Facebook and told me face to face.

She took things even further when she took my phone and added it to events.

We saved the day and it was a lovely one.

Mogz Wed 31-Jul-13 06:24:22

We sent Save the Date cards as more than half of our guests were flying from either France or Australia to the UK and it would have been tricky to ring them all what with the time difference. We designed them to match the rest of our wedding stationery and got some lovely feedback.

trixymalixy Tue 30-Jul-13 23:32:34

The last 2 weddings I have been to we have received STD cards and we did STD. I think it's quite useful to get advance notice so you can book hotel rooms etc.

We received one a few years ago. We did std but dh's oldest friend returned to the country to marry his now dw. Dh was best man so i felt dreadful we couldn't go to the original one.
The second wedding was awful and i wish we had at least done a wedding each iykwim.

PrettyKitty1986 Tue 30-Jul-13 23:18:43

I sent std's out a fortnight ago for my wedding.

People receiving them (only close friends and family, day invites) already knew...but my wedding is on 1st June, a Sunday. It's prime holiday time so I just wanted to give people an official heads up that they can keep to hand.

I would hope any of my day guests would be pleased to receive one and not 'insulted' or 'offended' hmm

ShellyBoobs Tue 30-Jul-13 23:07:44

I've got an STD at the moment.

My other half's friend gave it to me the other week.

<fnarr grin>

Being serious for a moment, I'm not sure there's much point to them in most circumstances.

This one though is for a date in winter, in a different country, and from what OH's friend said they were a little concerned that people would use all their holiday's from work and be unable to attend if they didn't do something early enough...

dementedma Tue 30-Jul-13 22:53:25

I've never heard of these before. The things you learn on MN!

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