does anyone actually "save the day"?

(68 Posts)

Not really a thread about a thread as such, but there seem to be a lot about "save the day" cards, Woulds you really "Save the Day" because you were sent a card like this? I would definitely avoid arranging anything on a close friends/ relatives wedding day but I would expect to be told about the wedding in person, not by a card through the post. If I wanted to book a holiday or do anything really, I wouldn't not do it because someone that couldn't be bothered to tell me in person (in other words, someone that I don't see/ speak to regularly) had sent me card in the post, that from what people are saying on here, doesn't always mean that you are going to get a proper invite, if any, anyway.

petuniapickletits Tue 30-Jul-13 16:08:24

I think people who send save the dates usually have very large weddings or weddings that include lots of travel or around a time of year plenty of notice would beneeded

Otherwise they are just silly.

bumbleymummy Tue 30-Jul-13 16:11:14

Yep, have one for next summer. Saving the day smile Not really that big a wedding either.

fairieswearboots Tue 30-Jul-13 16:14:55

Batman has saved the day on a fair few occasions as I recall

ApocalypseThen Tue 30-Jul-13 16:15:24

I think they're ridiculous, rude and impertinent. I didn't send them. If you're inviting someone, send an invitation. We didn't use them on that basis.

Bowlersarm Tue 30-Jul-13 16:17:35

It depends if I want to go or not. If I didn't particularly then it wouldn't stop me going on holiday.

If it was something I wanted to attend then it would be handy to know about it as soon as possible.

meditrina Tue 30-Jul-13 16:17:56

I've only ever had two actual cards (plus one tip off conversation from groom who was getting married in the back of beyond and wanted to stuff the only convenient hotel with his friends for a weekend long party before anyone else knew to make bookings).

Both cards were pretty useless, as they were family weddings, and we'd been told the date. I just assumed that the hosts had sent them out to everyone they were inviting and really wanted there (easier than trying to remember who said what to whom).

KatAndKit Tue 30-Jul-13 16:20:08

I sent them because my wedding (next week) is smack in the middle of the school holidays and is also a week day. People often book their holiday in the autumn for the next summer so we told everyone the date well before the actual invitations were sent out. As a result almost everyone we invited is able to attend so it worked well

irregularegular Tue 30-Jul-13 16:20:54

Yes, of course, why wouldn't you? For weddings and for other parties. Usually they are informal e-mail invites. The nice, paper invites often come much later as it takes people a while to get organised, but they want to make sure everyone knows the date.

Most children's birthday parties these days I seem to get an e-mail well ahead so that it can go in the diary. Usually a paper invite for the benefit of the children follows, but not always.

It was a long time ago, but I'm pretty sure we contacted all guests about our wedding date well ahead of me getting all the handmade (by me) invites done.

nemno Tue 30-Jul-13 16:21:10

I've never had one. I'll save the day if I'm asked and intending to go obviously. So if I were to be sent one I would do the same.

KellyElly Tue 30-Jul-13 16:23:00

Do you mean 'save the date?'. As far as I'm aware only superheros save the day grin

badguider Tue 30-Jul-13 16:24:25

It depends on many many things whether I do actually 'save' the date, but I do really appreciate getting the card so at least if I do book something that clashes because I consider it more important then I'm doing it in full knowledge.

I can't see how anybody could find pre-warning of a date by post to be something to get offended about hmm but then I learn every day on mn of new reasons to be offended that hadn't occured to me grin

I do. Although I have 2 for next year and no 2014 calendar so woke up at 3am last week thinking they were both the same weekend (they aren't)

I quite like them.

ChunkyChicken Tue 30-Jul-13 16:26:11

We sent save the date cards as we knew the date we'd booked for the wedding would be in prime holiday season, but only to those "VIP" guests (& who were probably already aware of the event anyway), and at such an early date that sending a wedding invite wasn't practical or possible to a certain extent & seemed odd - only the vaguest of plans were in place. As soon as the details were "filled in" & the invites made, we sent those. We certainly wouldn't have not invited anyone we'd sent a save the date card & didn't send them to evening only invitees for example.

OrangeLily Tue 30-Jul-13 16:27:17

We sent ours out when the day wasn't finalised and it was quite far in the future. I think about 18 months. We only sent to people we would definitely be inviting to the whole day.

However, we do have very very busy friends and family who do tend to plan holidays and travelling quite far in advance so they were grateful for notice. We then sent out invitations with about 5 months notice.

As for 'rude and impertinent' to be invited to a wedding, and to want your presence so much they give you some warning. Poor little loved you! What a damn shame!

member Tue 30-Jul-13 16:28:25

I'd never heard of them until I started using Mumsnet!

Seems to me that they are another ruse by card/social stationary manufacturers to increase their coffers. I'm convinced that many using them would be better served with cards which state "we've set a date" as an announcement of their impending nuptials.

When I was a bride, I don't think I'd have been horrendously disappointed if someone couldn't have made it due to clashing dates unless they were immediate family/bridal party & I'd have told them verbally if their attendance was that crucial to me.

Should I receive a STD card in the future, I'd most probably note the date on my calendar but wouldn't turn down an alternative engagement until I'd received an actual invitation tbh.

SarahNoDuck Tue 30-Jul-13 16:28:26

wish I'd got one last year. Had to miss an old friend's wedding because the invitation came less than months ahead and that was too late for us to arrange leave from work etc. sad

OrangeLily Tue 30-Jul-13 16:28:27

(And by day being finalised I meant the plans, times, etc.... The actual date was!)

SarahNoDuck Tue 30-Jul-13 16:28:47

less than two

meditrina Tue 30-Jul-13 16:28:48

(I think topping schoolgirls can also save the day, in perfectly ripping ways!)

Not a big wedding, but I tried to call people coming who I couldnt specifically meet in person, to ask them if they would save the day for the wedding (after they already know about the wedding) and I also asked them if they wanted me to send along a save the day card a bit closer to the date.

oscarwilde Tue 30-Jul-13 16:34:20

We did a STD grin email as about 50% of our guests would be coming by air and it was a weekend which hotels like to increase rates for, and babysitting can be hard to come by. I felt it would be rude to issue invites 6 weeks beforehand under those circumstances.

OwlinaTree Tue 30-Jul-13 16:38:49

It's just advanced warning about when it will be. I don't think you need to get upset about it. If you like the people and want to go, you will keep the date free. If you are not that bothered you won't. If you actively don't want to go, you will then have lots of time to think of an excuse!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 30-Jul-13 16:41:38

It's just an advance warning. Useful.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 30-Jul-13 16:44:50

IMO, it's no ruder than a formal invitation. It just means that people who need to make plans have more notice, and invitations can be sent out later. I don't see the problem. Are you expecting the couple to call/ visit every single invitee?

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