To be really offended and infact mighty pissed off!

(159 Posts)
chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 07:23:41

I have a beauty therapist who comes to my house to do waxing nails etc ( because i have 4 kids, saves me taking then all with me) she has only been coming a few months but last month she requested me as a friend on facebook so I accepted, she seemed nice enough.

Last night I was havng a flick through it when I saw a post she had on. It was a Photo of 4 Coke bottles. 3 bottles had girls names on them including Aoibhe and orlaith. Obvious Irish names. the fourth had the word Fenians on it. her comment was "Ha Ha True!"

AIBU to be insulted and to think even if she holds these bigoted outdated opinions, she is in a profession where she shouldnt be broadcasting them, and AIBU not to have her near my house again!

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Tue 30-Jul-13 19:41:24

I'm surprised people aren't familiar with the term. I'm Antipodean and am aware it's a pejorative word.

Even Lord Grantham used it in a derogatory way in Downton Abbey, when referring to his son-in-law!

Words become greater than the sum of their parts. In theory, they're not necessarily insulting; in practice, they very much are.

chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:24:37

true. she wasnt being picky. I apologise for that.

WipsGlitter Tue 30-Jul-13 17:23:21

She wasn't being picky about where her business came from, in fact that she felt ok to come over to 'your side' shows that things have moved on in a way.

chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 16:26:50

I suspect she will care when she trys to get insurance for her car or house insurance and its inflated because she is livng in a flaspoint area. Perhaps then she wont be so picky aout where her business comes from.

I'm from the Republic of Ireland and I would have read it as an insult too. I can't believe that she didn't seem to care that she lost business.

After reading from TheYami:

"For people who don't get the point of the pictue, It would be like someone from the US posting coke bottles with three typically African-American names and one bottle photoshopped to have the N word on it."

I have never ever heard this word before, so to me, I was a bit confused. In the context given, YAsoNBU!

claig Tue 30-Jul-13 12:44:35

Thanks Nassau. that explains it. Yes I seem to remember some of their adverts for this on TV.

Nassau Tue 30-Jul-13 12:31:41

For those who don't get the coke bottle reference:

www.coca-cola.ie/share-a-coke/share-a-coke.html

Thought Coca-Cola UK were doing it as well?

SarahAndFuck Tue 30-Jul-13 12:07:46

OP I wouldn't have understood that at all, I'd have thought it was a name the same as the others.

But obviously you do understand it and if it has left you feeling offended and pissed off then cancel your appointments and tell her why if that will make you feel better.

Or comment under the picture and ask her what she means.

Coca Cola were doing a sort of tour where you could go and have names printed on coke bottles. They said they wouldn't print offensive terms but it's possible that someone had it printed elsewhere, where it wouldn't be recognised as an insult. I think here it would have been taken as just another name.

I'm sorry she has upset you.

claig Tue 30-Jul-13 11:00:34

No I'm not a bloke, and I don't believe in insulting antyone or calling them names, so I'll pass on the insults, unlike you.

MCos Tue 30-Jul-13 10:59:47

I'm in Republic of Ireland. That usage of the word is new to me.
I know what Fenianism is, who they were, etc. It was an important time in our history.

If somebody called me a Fenian, I wouldn't have known to be insulted! But from what people are saying the clue would have been in the tone of voice used...

VenusSurprising Tue 30-Jul-13 10:55:37

Well, I'm not sure that I'd ring her up and read her the riot act tbh.
I mean at least she didn't say Fenian bastards, or taiges! But I'd get another beautician. Just drop her.

Claig, you're being really annoying. Are you a bloke? You sound like one! (Figure that out if it's an insult)
After that, if you've nothing better to do why don't you look up "having a Paddy", or how calling someone a Paki might be an insult, or if you prefer, an intellectual challenge? Wiki a gogo, knock yourself out.

FeegleFion Tue 30-Jul-13 10:55:34

Yy Russian angry

For those who don't know, there is a particular line in the song that says:

'We're up to our necks in Fenian blood'.

RussiansOnTheSpree Tue 30-Jul-13 10:52:03

The well known Rangers song (the Billy Boys - maybe it's Billy Boyz these days) makes it quite clear. sad

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 30-Jul-13 10:49:47

Don't get the coke bottle reference, but it is definitely an offensive term.
Used widely in the west of Scotland, and usually with bastards attached.
I think you can be charged for using it at Rangers/Celtic football matches, it is a bigoted term of hate towards Catholics.

FeegleFion Tue 30-Jul-13 10:44:31

Although the term Fenians isn't deemed derogatory on Wiki or in fact wasn't initially used as such, I can attest to the fact that it is used to insult Catholics in Glasgow, at least.

I grew up in the poor East End of Glasgow and it was very much used as an insult. It was meant as a slur and to identify Catholics as poor and somehow 'less than' others (specifically Protestants).

In terms of the names on the bottles, they would easily be identifiable as Catholic names. That will be how the beautician was able to make her very 'humorous' joke.

When I was a child, my family lived in the ground floor flat in a tenement block. Above us, lived a very staunch Protestant family.

The shared backyard was where the residents of the tenement block would hang their washing to dry.

I remember my mother in tears on numerous occasions after the woman above shouting insults at my mother, when she was hanging the washing out. All of those insults would be in relation to Religion and included being called a 'dirty fucking Fenian bastard'.

mirren3 Tue 30-Jul-13 10:43:10

I'm from near glasgow, my husband and sons all support rangers, none of us would use that word even in a football context...it's definitely a massive insult, as other Scottish posters have said. If it was me I'd post on her page a short version of why you will not be using her again.

treaclesoda Tue 30-Jul-13 10:40:31

milktraylady you don't have to have moved away to find it embarassing on the news. Its embarassing for those of us who still live here too!

When I was younger I was so idealistic and thought that my generation were different, and that when I was an adult things would be better. Its ironic that as the 'troubles' ended, the relationship between the two communities actually grew more distant. The town I grew up in was very mixed, there was no such thing as a Protestant or Catholic area, and now it is completely polarised with one side almost entirely Catholic and the other side almost entirely Protestant. Hate crimes against those who find themselves in the 'wrong' area of their own town are a regular occurrence. Ironically in 30 years of 'troubles' the town was almost untouched, and community relations were good. confused

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Tue 30-Jul-13 10:39:02

Wow, what a ludicrously contrived thing to do - photoshop names and insults onto coke bottles. confused

That takes someone with way, way too much time on their hands, and with the sort of petty, small-minded mentality that is actually quite mind-boggling.

I am <cringing> on behalf of whoever came up with that.

You did the right thing, chubby.

TigerSwallowTail Tue 30-Jul-13 10:38:39

Yanbu, I'm from Glasgow and have never heard the term used in any way other than to offend.

claig Tue 30-Jul-13 10:37:11

'Well done claig on listening to the people posting on here & trying to inform you.'

I always listen to the wisdom of MNers. Occasionally I am wrong and learn from the wisdom of MN.

GrumpyRedhead Tue 30-Jul-13 10:36:59

Chubby, I wish I was surprised at her response! I think you did the right thing in deleting her, I have done similar recently. The whole Ardoyne thing brought some interesting posts in my news feed from family members who I knew were a bit hard line, but didn't realise the level of bitterness involved. I deleted them too, and I'm glad I did.

I just wanted to post because of your use of "wee doll", i haven't heard that in ages grin I used to call my sister that when we were fighting as kids because we weren't allowed to swear in our house!

I'm Protestant, DP is catholic. He still lived with his parents when we first got together, right on a flashpoint area - think one street Protestant, next street catholic. As I got out of the car, a couple of wee fellas on bikes shouted 'fenian!' at me. It gave me a giggle, because I wondered what they would think if they knew that, technically, I was 'on their side'. But, at the same time, it was very sad to think that people get called names when going about their day-to-day life just based on where they live.

As an aside, I occasionally call DP a dirty taig when we're keeping each other going. I think maybe the offense caused kind of depends on the offense intended?

Sorry for the disjointed ramble post!

pianodoodle Tue 30-Jul-13 10:32:47

BMW6 - Good for you chubby - this sort of shite needs to be wiped out, and it starts with challenging people who use these terms as you have done.

Absolutely and fair play for not just making an excuse and telling her the real reason you were cancelling!

milktraylady Tue 30-Jul-13 10:30:57

Well done claig on listening to the people posting on here & trying to inform you.

A great big lesson on why NOT to rely on Wikipedia (or a pop band) for historical/ cultural facts.

I am also from NI.

Well done OP on calling up your therapist & calling her on her views. I certainly wouldn't want someone like that in my home.

I'm now fed up of the whole NI thang. Moved away in 1995. It's just embarrassing on the news. I wish I was southern Irish, but I'm not.

Confuses my English in laws. 10 years later they still don't understand.

And I call Derry- stroke city. grin

TheYamiOfYawn Tue 30-Jul-13 10:27:47

Sorry to any protestants about the phrase "protestant extremism", btw, but I reckon that introducing distinctions between religion and politics would be far too confusing for some of the people on here.

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