To be really offended and infact mighty pissed off!

(159 Posts)
chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 07:23:41

I have a beauty therapist who comes to my house to do waxing nails etc ( because i have 4 kids, saves me taking then all with me) she has only been coming a few months but last month she requested me as a friend on facebook so I accepted, she seemed nice enough.

Last night I was havng a flick through it when I saw a post she had on. It was a Photo of 4 Coke bottles. 3 bottles had girls names on them including Aoibhe and orlaith. Obvious Irish names. the fourth had the word Fenians on it. her comment was "Ha Ha True!"

AIBU to be insulted and to think even if she holds these bigoted outdated opinions, she is in a profession where she shouldnt be broadcasting them, and AIBU not to have her near my house again!

wigglesrock Tue 30-Jul-13 08:08:51

We'll then, she didn't mean it in a nice waysmile . It's a horribly loaded term, I would get rid. If she used that term in a physical workplace she'd be fucked so really why should it be any different?

It's happened to me, it was horrible - a fellow worker launched into a tirade about taigs stealing our houses etc, I was so shocked, I couldn't move. I'm almost 40 and it was a real kick in the stomach to hear someone almost half my age talk about me and my kids like that.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 30-Jul-13 08:08:59

Just seen wiggles' post which makes the point I was trying to make, but much more eloquently!

Eyesunderarock Tue 30-Jul-13 08:10:03

There's a number of Fenian songs, anti-British.
Very popular in some pubs.

claig Tue 30-Jul-13 08:11:39

The Wolfe Tones are an Irish band and some of their songs are Irish Nationalist and one of their songs is called "Bold Fenian Men"

I don't think they believe that the word 'Fenian' is an insult.

RussiansOnTheSpree Tue 30-Jul-13 08:11:53

Wiggles - I do know people who use both the F term and the T term in a defensive 'say it before they do, turn the blade of the verbal knife' way. I think they are foolish to do so, I don't think it helps them or anyone else but yes, like you, I do know people who self refer in that way. Never about others though. And certainly not about (as someone else suggests) their kids!!! shock

There are words which it is no longer acceptable to use outside of a history lesson. Fenian (and Taig) are two of them.

RussiansOnTheSpree Tue 30-Jul-13 08:15:16

It's like the parade thread all over again. sad

These threads have certainly opened my eyes a bit, I must say. And not in a good way. There's ignorance and then there's willful ignorance. sad

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 08:16:45

They are catholic with those names yourallabunch

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 08:17:33

Exactly claig she is owning the term, proud of it.

chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 08:18:03

Thank you, I am going to phone her this morning to cancel my future appointments. I will explain why I am doing it and that I will not be making any more appointments.

TheYamiOfYawn Tue 30-Jul-13 08:20:01

I'd unfriend her and get someone else to do my nails. If someone has work contacts as facebook friends, they really shouldn't be making sectarian posts.

For people who don't get the point of the pictue, It would be like someone from the US posting coke bottles with three typically African-American names and one bottle photoshopped to have the N word on it.

Fenian is ok when used to talk about a specific historical movement, but was being used there as a highly offensive term. When I was growing up, it was the sort of word that if it was directed at you, you expect physical violence and fear for your life. (Am from NI and technically Protestant, but due to divorce/remarriage grew up with culturally Catholic parents.

pianodoodle Tue 30-Jul-13 08:20:40

Going on your last post I don't think she was making a joke about herself!

OP - I'm N.Irish too and I hate hate hate that some people are still being taught this ridiculous bigotry.

I definitely understand you feeling annoyed about her comment. I personally avoid people with that mindset.

I've been in England the past 5 years and am looking at a lovely Irish boys name for my second child (don't know sex yet). I'm from a "protestant" background but I can call my child whatever I like plus at least here no one will be asking "why did you call them that?!" smile

I miss N.Ireland but not the few who carry on being ridiculous and making the place look bad.

I've been a bit shocked by some of the ignorance where I live about N.Ireland. We did English history in school as well as our own but don't think it goes the other way round! Not malicious ignorance mind, just blank looks.

chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 08:23:28

TheYami, thank you for explaining the core of my annoyance in an easy understandable way!

Piano i totally get you.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 30-Jul-13 08:23:59

I was horrified to learn that my Great Grandfather was a Black and Tan and I can't quite understand it because they were an Irish Catholic family. Why would he have jo

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 30-Jul-13 08:24:12

joined if he were Catholic?

chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 08:26:45

Neo, the black and tans were origionally supposed to help the Irish police keep law and order. and to deter any IRA attacks. So possibly he was just trying to maintain a peaceful world. Do you think?

pianodoodle Tue 30-Jul-13 08:29:18

In a way I feel sorry for the beautician because she's young and has clearly grown up in an area where this sort of nonsense is still rife and thus harder to break away from if you've grown up being so exposed to those attitudes and not been taught that it's wrong sad

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 30-Jul-13 08:30:44

Chubby I hope so. I remember being shock when my Mum told me about him...

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 08:31:38

The Black and Tans were notoriously evil bastards recruited out of prisons etc. It is possible than English Catholics were among them, they hated the Irish not catholics per se. Mind you the Irish specials were supposed to be even worse as they were like collaborators against their own people.

Belchica Tue 30-Jul-13 08:32:12

Fenian is an insult. End of.

OP, if I was in your shoes and it was bothering me, I would just quietly defriend and not book her again. No need for an explanation or to make it personal. There will be plenty of other mobile therapists keen to come to your house.

RussiansOnTheSpree Tue 30-Jul-13 08:32:18

Piano - part of the problem of course is that people who use these terms can point to the people who swear they are perfectly innocuous and effectively use that willful ignorance (or worse) as justification for continuing to use those words.

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 08:33:06

Don't mean to dis your great GF neomaxi, people sometimes end up in the wrong group and no one realises until afterwards.

chubbymomie2012 Tue 30-Jul-13 08:33:45

Aaahhhhh Rosh, that explains the derogatory "Tans" term used by my southern cousins about our local friendly rioters.

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 08:35:32

Who TF are the friendly rioters?

auntmargaret Tue 30-Jul-13 08:37:50

Shocking, sectarian behaviour, I'd be offended too. Good for you to stand up to it.

TalkativeJim Tue 30-Jul-13 08:37:55

I am neither Irish nor Catholic, but I lived in Glasgow for a long time.

I've heard the word Fenian many times... and NEVER without the word '...bastard' being appended to it.

Definitely a massively offensive, loaded description for anywhere which has suffered sectarian hatred.

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