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To refuse to hand over my freecycle offers to this girl?

(177 Posts)
GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 16:54:34

We have recently moved and I put a load of stuff on freecycle.

I was emailed by a woman who asked for 3 things, and I told her to pick one as I wanted to share them out. She says, OK, she will have the home gym.

She turns up in a very nice car - I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle.

She comes in to get the home gym and spots the dining set out in the hallway ready to be re-homed. She asks if its a G-plan, and when I say yes she asks for that too. She hadn't asked for it originally, but I didn't put the name in the Freecycle ad.

Then she says she can give me 20 for it, and I say no, then she says 40 and I say no, so she asks how much do I want for it and her husband can bring the van to pick it up tonight. Im thinking she is likely going to sell it on and tell her that I wanted to help someone in need and she cant have the table or the home gym, she gets a bit stroppy, but leaves.

Then I get an email from the Freecycle group, saying this member is really disappointed and would I reconsider. Im not going to, but just wondered WWYD? Was I totally out of order?

And is this how freecycle is?? A load of freeloaders trying to make some extra cash? Ive offered before, but only stuff that would otherwise be scrapped, this is the only time Ive offered anything with a resale value.

Also had an email from her, saying she will withdraw her complaint if I let her husband collect tonight. Im not really worried that she has my address.

JamNan Mon 29-Jul-13 16:58:11

Cheeky mare. Tell her it's gone. G-Plan is v collectible and depending on what style will go for well over a 100.

McNewPants2013 Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:24

If you want to warm feeling of helping someone out then donate it to a charity.

You put in on free cycle so IMO its first come first served.

The car could have been the one that is hired by an insurance company after an accident, it could have been her parents or a friends. Do you really judge people by what car they have got.

xylem8 Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:29

Freecycle is about keeping things out of landfill not about playing Lady Bountiful to the poor.

GetStuffezd Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:34

Do NOT let her have the stuff! Greedy woman! It's your bloody property and she's acting like she has a genuine claim to it. Awful behaviour.

RussianBlu Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:53

I think she is being very very cheeky! Send an email complaint in about her. What an absolute joke she is. Some people are very greedy when it comes to things like this though.

aturtlenamedmack Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:58

Yes, that is exactly how free cycle is I'm afraid.
If you want to help someone I'd donate it to the charity shop or one of the projects that gives out free or almost free furniture to those who have nothing to furnish their home with, then at least you know it's going to a good cause.
Sorry you had a bad experience when trying to do such a nice thing!

chocolatespiders Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:12

I would sell on ebay and if you don't want the money donate it to food bank or charity of your choice or donate to second hand furniture warehouse and they can benefit from it.

Nerfmother Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:14

Totally weird in your part although clearly not judging by other posters. Do some volunteering to make yourself feel better, rather than decide who is worthy of your cast offs. Give it all to a charity shop.

EntWife Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:39

that is my experience of freecycle. a bunch of grasping chancers for the most part.

we regularly get posts to the group page desperately seeking iPads and flat screen tvs. once someone even asked for a yacht! shock

Cabrinha Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:43

She sounds pushy, but I think YABU. I'd be pretty cross if I turned up for the home gym and you refused to give it to me!
Did you put in the add "only for people on their uppers"?!
Tbh, I think if you have things with a resale value but want to help those in need, you should either give to a rejoining charity, or sell them yourself and give the proceeds to charity.
Apart from the practicality of assessing someone's financial situation, I find this idea that you get to decide who is the "deserving poor" a bit distasteful.

This why I don't put my stuff on freecycle any more. Grabby people who feel entitled.
I'd email the freecycle group back and say she was trying to lay claim to stuff she wasn't there to collect then started offering money, they aren't allowed to pay for stuff, she might get thrown off.

Paintyourbox Mon 29-Jul-13 17:03:49

Surely you can put in a complaint about her?!

I am sure in the terms and conditions that Freecycle state no money is to change hands so she shouldn't be making cash offers for things. Additionally they also say you aren't obligated to give goods to the first person who responds!

And fwiw you would prob get a decent price on Gumtree or eBay for the GPlan.

I've given up a bit with Freecycle after finding things I had given away appearing for sale on gumtree a few days later. I wanted to help people who were struggling to afford things rather than lining other people's pockets.

specialsubject Mon 29-Jul-13 17:03:55

unbelievable that the Freecycle mods are telling you that this person is disappointed. You kept your deal and that's it.

are they expecting you to give her the entire contents of your house?

tell them no.

cavell Mon 29-Jul-13 17:04:40

No doubt you will get lots of posters telling you that Freecycle is about reducing landfill and you shouldn't expect gratitude or only want to give to "needy" people.

In my experience, there are a number of freecyclers around who are out to make money and I, personally, don't like that. It seems exploitative and not in the "spirit" of things. I would rather my things went to someone who would actually make use of them.

I would probably have done pretty much what you have done, FWIW.

I'd have sold it to her to be honest - everyone's a winner then given that you were prepared to give it away for nothing. Actually I'd have sold it myself on Ebay but if you don't have the time that's up to you.

But you're making a common misconception about freecycle. Its not to be lady bountiful and help the poor and needy. Its to stop stuff filling up landfill. If you want to be sure it will go to people in need you'd be better off contacting your local womens refuge or homeless shelter.

Having said all this its your stuff and if you don't want to give it to her for whatever reason then don't. But you need to get yourself into the headspace of not giving a shit why people want it if you offer on freecycle or you will just end up fucked off as in all honesty there are many more chancers looking to make money than there are people in need.

CeliaFate Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:17

Freecycle, as I understand it, is about giving your stuff away to the first person who can come and take it.
If you want it out of the way, you should have given it to her.
If you wanted it to go to someone more in need, then you should ring the Council or donate it to a refuge or similar.
Even charity shops are frequented by well off people, she could have bought it from a charity shop. Would that be better? She offered you the money for it.
I think she was cheeky and entitled, but yabu not to have let her take it off your hands.

CecilyP Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:17

YANBU. Until you give them away the things are yours, so you can do what you like with them which includes being able pick and choose who you give them to.

Pootles2010 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:37

So you didn't let her have the home gym that she came out for? Thats unreasonable tbh.

Cross posted with everyone!

Manchesterhistorygirl Mon 29-Jul-13 17:09:34

But the OP didn't keep to her deal. The person came to collect the home gym and the OP refused to hand it over because the car was too posh!

Just because someone had a nice car you know bugger all about their situation. It could have been a company pool car for all you know. I find it extremely distasteful that the OP was playing lady bountiful. Freecycle is to stop stuff going to landfill, not to separate the deserving poor from everyone else. We recently were the recipients if a sofa and chair to dress our conservatory because our house is for sale. I guess that makes me a grabby freeloader!

kim147 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:10:21

I used Freecycle to get some stuff for the house which I could not afford.
A massive "old fashioned" TV - weighs a tonne.
A bed for DS
Bedside table

It kept stuff out of the tip. I've also put stuff on there that I didn't need - I hope it's gone to a good cause. I got some interesting emails from people and I hope they were genuine.

GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 17:10:28

Ha! Yes, I suppose I did think it was only for the deserving poor! The people who have collected my other stuff have been so pleased, I wanted to help someone.. bit lady bountiful of me I agree. But this was a 2 car family... we only have 1 car!

Charity shops don't collect all this, and we have loads, dishwasher, fridge-freezer (new house has inbuilt) plus tons of garden equipment which isn't suitable for this place.

We were given the table, (wouldn't have paid for it) so wanted it to be given away again, and I just cant get the hang of ebay at all. Don't use it to sell.

I did reply to freecycle saying she offered cash, which is against the rules. Havent heard back

YANBU some people royally take the piss on Freecycle, I've stopped using it I got fed up with grabby responses from people with no manners, I would post and off and just get an email saying 'when can I collect?' No Please, Thanks etc.

Also had one lady asking for a double buggy as she was pregnant and already had a little baby, she asked for a Phil and Teds, I offered her a double pushchair but another cheaper brand and got a snotty reply saying that she wouldn't put her kids in anything other than Phil and Teds and was I an idiot offering her shit when she has specified a certain brand. angry

From then on all baby and kids stuff I don't need anymore I give to a local children and family charity or to the paediatric ward at the hospital. Anything else goes to a charity shop.

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 29-Jul-13 17:15:45

Oh seriously OP? Come on. Seriously? What if she turned up in a battered old Reliant Robin dressed like a tramp and smoking a roll up? Would she then be considered eligible for your stuff? Even if she was going straight home to put it on Ebay? Freecycle is NOT a charity service - it's NOT only for poor people (and who are you to decide who is poor and who isn't?) - it IS to keep stuff out of landfill and that is all. It's just not the same as the charity shop volunteer who keeps donated stuff and then sells it on - that would be worthy of contempt but with Freecycle it's just nothing to do with anyone what happens to your stuff once it's taken.

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