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To be fed up of this tirade.

(119 Posts)
babybearsmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 14:17:44

A lot of you may remember my post last week R.E. the wedding cake. I didn't do it due to dp and dd being so ill. Friday came along and my dd had had a HUGE fever during the night- the ear infection she'd been diagnosed with on the wednesday had got the better of her and she was very floppy and sad and wouldn't stop crying unless she was being held my my dp and I. So we whizzed her down the doctors as soon as they opened on friday and got her checked over again and she was given stronger anti-biotics and has been dosed up with antibiotics and calpol over the weekend and is feeling a lot better now.

But as my dd was so ill, I decided not to go to my friend's wedding (dp had to pop into work a few times over the day, even though they'd given him the day off compassionate leave) So there was no way I could, let alone wanted, to leave her.

I got a text at 10am from my friend saying that, due to my lack of "compassion" in "a time of crisis" that I was no longer welcome to the wedding. So I replied that dd was not well and couldn't come anyway (no reply for the rest of the day).

But as of Saturday, I've had non stop calls to my mobile and landline, texts, emails, facebook messages from her and her mum saying how selfish I was for not properly apologising or attending the wedding to make amends. I've turned off the phone, my mobile, shut down the computer and everything, but the messages keep racking up. I just want to cry. It's like they're sat talking to each other and every time they think of something nasty to say, they have to call/ message me again. AIBU to just want to cry and want my "friend" to find something more interesting to do on her honeymoon than shout at me!! I knew this would come back to bite me on the bum.

PedantMarina Mon 29-Jul-13 15:06:23

I'd change the advice to this only:

Do NOT Delete and block. Do try to get messages shunted into a special folder that you don't have to look at. But you have evidence of harrassment, and you do not want to delete this, esp if you get more after you've told them to please stop.

All the best, OP.

SendMum Mon 29-Jul-13 15:09:34

I completely agree the OP has been treated appallingly but I wouldn't have thought a row over a wedding cake constitutes a call to the police as some have suggested?! Just ignore and it will die down, we can't all be threatening to ring the police every time we have a barney.

Or you coukd ask whether, as you'd not been able to attend, your traditional slic of cake is in the post.

No. That would be evil. But tbat is tradition when people cant attend is it not?

youarewinning Mon 29-Jul-13 15:10:49

OP is not threatening police after a barny.

She is being advised to go to the police over harassment.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 15:14:33

sendmum - do you imagine that harrassment only ever occurs over matters of grave importance?
Of course it doesn't. I should think quite a lot of harrassment occurs on the back of trivial shite that matters not a jot.

The OP is being harangued, and THAT is what is of note, not what the whole episode started over.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 15:18:35

Oh and it's not a row either, as that would require opposition.
There is no opposition...just a plain old attack, which while it might be over a sodding cake, is not a case of tit for tat, and is causing considerable upset for the recipient of said attack.

PedantMarina Mon 29-Jul-13 15:23:33

Does anybody have a link to the previous fred?

As to "police or not", main thing I was advocating is not getting rid of the evidence. It's up to OP to do things or not later on. But don't shoot yourself in the foot by deleting messages now.

rainbowfeet Mon 29-Jul-13 15:23:34

Your so called friend aka Bridezilla sounds like a horrible selfish person. I did read your original thread & she was asking way too much of you at such short notice. If the abuse continues tell them if they don't stop you will be reporting them to the police for malicious communication or harassment whatever they call the charge now.

SendMum Mon 29-Jul-13 15:25:49

Keep your hair on. I just think its not something that warrants involving police unless someone is really being threatened in some way and feels under threat. While I sympathise with the OP and the way she's been treated someone has to say it is not (yet) a police matter and we need to keep a bit of perspective!

Link her to this and your previous thread, with the accompanying text...
Read these. Then fuck off.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 15:29:33

Good idea terra.

That's what I'd do tbh.

Read these. May your next shit be a hedgehog.
Now fuck off.

WafflyVersatile Mon 29-Jul-13 15:31:02

Feeling a bit ranty in the stressful run up where things are going wrong is one thing.

Being petty and vengeful afterwards is quite another.

I'd send her one message using bullet points to summarise what happened then release the drawbridge.

PedantMarina Mon 29-Jul-13 15:33:08

pictish I think I love you - going to totally use that hedgehog line sometime soon.

SarahAndFuck Mon 29-Jul-13 15:33:21

It's harassment that has left the OP feeling tearful and unable to turn on her phone or computer.

It's not a couple of messages, she says they are building up.

And it's two people at least who are sending them.

If the OP can't access her phone or computer without feeling like this then I think the message above warning them that if they do not stop sending her abusive messages then she will call the police is a good idea.

babybearsmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 15:45:51

Yep, exactly that SarahAndFuck, maybe I could write a novel??!!

Snort at may your next shit be a hedgehog grin

They are unhinged. I'd store the messages and tell then if they contact you again you'll report for harassment as others have advised. There is no point wasting your time to explain any of your reasoning as they won't get it.

Groovee Mon 29-Jul-13 16:12:34

So she asked you to make a cake then told you, that she had someone else. When they let her down, she expects you to make it. You choose not to. Your dd becomes ill and you put her first. But because you wouldn't make the cake at short notice, she uninvites you and then hounds you for not coming.

She is a complete loon and you have nothing to be sorry for.

Good grief, just when you think the Bridezilla stories can't get any worse, they do. What a hideous woman!

I have nothing worthwhile to add OP, just wanted to sympathise - you can't do much about madness like your ex-friend, you just have to wait for her to blow herself out and move on to the next victim.

If this loopy woman is sending messages with her mother has she even gone on honeymoon or are she and her mother sat round their cauldrons at home winding each other up to higher and higher levels of stupidity and nastiness. If her DH has any sense he will either have gone on honeymoon alone or gone back to work.

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 29-Jul-13 16:19:33
Twirlyhot Mon 29-Jul-13 16:24:49

I like 'mad as a spoon.' And she is.

Floggingmolly Mon 29-Jul-13 16:28:06

She's on her honeymoon and still obsessed with making you feel like shit? shock. Poor cow, really. Imagine being that full of vitriol for no reason whatsoever; what a start to married life...
I'll give it six months
You can see why the company binned her off, can't you? Now you do the same.

Absy Mon 29-Jul-13 16:33:57

Having read the previous thread and now this, I can conclude that:







I want cake.

foslady Mon 29-Jul-13 16:36:50

I thought the initial behaviour by Bridezilla was bad, but this and MOBzilla's is gobsmacking, especially on top of your dd being ill.

Lord help her husband if this is what she does to someone she called her friend

A pity you didn't bake the cake after all...

and "liberate" a few dozen packets of laxatives in the mix. grin

ScrambledSmegs Mon 29-Jul-13 16:47:36

Well at least you know where Bridezilla gets it from <wry smile>

Do call 101 if this continues. Make sure you keep all correspondence, however much you want to continue.

Can't believe she's harassing you on her honeymoon. Although... did the wedding actually go ahead? Any chance her poor H2B scarpered?

I wouldn't blame him.

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