To be pissed off with DS1 for not getting a job? And how can I help him?(46 Posts)
Genuine AIBU - I told DS1 after Christmas to start trying to get a summer job lined up for between A levels and (fingers crossed) start of uni. End of A levels arrived and then he starts looking. Predictably, he can't get a job. We get on well so I'm surprised how pissed off with him I am. I don't want to let it affect our relationship but I'm finding it very hard to be calm and sensible about this. In the current climate, are summer jobs really so difficult to find? Am I BU?
On the flipside, he has been to every shop within walking/cycling distance to ask if they are hiring. He's made countlesss online applications and asked everyone he knows if they know of available work.
Only 2 of his friends have jobs.
So AIBU to be pissed off with him and is there anything more he can to do get work?
My god he sounds great, OP. Can I book him just to come and live in my house for a month and do all my ironing/cooking/play with my kids/walk my dogs
Seriously though, the charity shops struggle over the summer when all their volunteers naff off on holiday or shorten their hours because they have kids at home. If he can get in with one of those they will love him. We have a new 'boy' at our local Oxfam where I volunteer, who's been away on an extended gap year
or three - it was hilarious to see all the old ducks clucking away excitedly over him!
Thanks so much for all your replies and ideas. They'll help give him a 'second wind'. I also forgot to say that he makes absolutely amazing cake.Same equipment and ingredients as mine but his taste loads better.
Try the temping agencies such Brook Street, Office Angels for short temp contracts. It's also important how he words his request as asking for a 'summer job' can be limiting. Better to ask for short term contracts & tidy up his c.v. & to present himself smartly.
Also look at your local university/FE college recruitment pages as they often hire in temp staff for data entry etc during the clearing process. Brook street temping agency supplies temps to universities for this purpose.
Of course YABU, jobs are like gold dust for teenagers and young people.
I think older people have no clue how hard it is to get jobs like that these days. All this "Oh, can't you just get a job in a pub?" Well, with pubs closing at a rate of 18 a week, the people who do go in the ones that are left spending less and the companies trying everything to save money (i.e. shedding staff) then no, he can't 'just' get a job at a pub.
My place of work has lost two members of staff since Christmas. Instead of hiring new people their workload has simply been shared amongst those who are still there. No new jobs going here, and I suspect a lot of places are similar.
Agree tell him to apply for perm roles, he can always closer to the time say that he had thought he hadn't got the grades for uni and so would be staying local to resit next year, but was surprised to have done well (brief him before results to tell colleagues/boss that he's expecting to fail/get low grades, then arrive into work being happy shocked about it next shift )
Also any local temp admin agencies he could sign on with? Again, suggesting he might be around come sept onwards resitting....
You do not necessarily need to have till experience to work the floor or in the kitchen of a pub.
I work in a pub and I do all the bills for the tables, the waitresses just waitress - if that makes sense.
I was lucky with my DD as I already work there, they gave her a trial and hey presto she has a couple of shifts now a week which will help her in the future.
I'd ask at all the local pubs. The reason my DD got a shot is because of the holidays - so many of the youngsters going off on holidays they needed someone to cover when people are off.
It's worth a go?
Unfortunately, often with this kind of work, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
Think about some of your contacts or places you go to regularly that know you - they may be worth a go as well.
Good luck to him - he sounds like a great lad.
ds 1 advertised as a Gardner/ babysitter. he is CRB checked and obviously all the families are local and know us. his main advantage is he can drive/ walk home after and he's not a 14 year old girl liable to be in the phone and smuggling bit friends in( was that just me)
ds2 pot washes in pub and now graduated to puddings and prep. he is absolutely loaded as working all day every day.
can your ds not do the above or offer garden services??
I was in the same boat as you OP, DS1 did nothing about finding work and I was crawling the walls for ages telling him to go to the pubs and ask if there was anything going. What does he want to study at uni? Is there anything he could volunteer at that would support that? Helping in a charity shop is always appreciated, also lots of charities will have a lot of fundraising events through the summer and would appreciate a hand with a whole range of things from cooking bbqs to running tombola stalls. Get him to look in the local paper and see what events are coming up in your local area. If he likes elderly people there are often chances for visiting/ doing some shopping etc for them.
gardening / odd job man / babysitting??
my regular "young" person who babysits (while i am in the house) has let me down twice in the space of a week - i pay £5 an hour (and i feed them )
so if you are in ireland........pm me lol
Give him a break. What is the big deal about him having a summer job? A-levels are a stressful time so let him have his holiday fun. What might be worth suggesting is getting a little job when he is at uni doing bar/restaurant work or something. If he is going to a uni town surely there will be loads of student jobs about.
I agree about cutting him a bit of slack in finding paid employment.
It isn't like it was for us
10 20+ years ago when students could get a job in a shop or restaurant pretty much just by turning up and applying.
The same jobs now are harder to come by and attract 'proper' applicants - people with some experience who are still cheap but don't need any training. There just isn't much scope for 16 and 18 year olds to get anything causal and paid unless they can get some experience first.
Which is a shame, because as well as the money, being able to try out a range of different holiday jobs (and have a few regular ones as well) was definitely a big part of the learning and life experience at that age.
Have you tried getting him to make up some cards offering fence painting and delivering them locally. I would have paid someone a bloody fortune to do ours.
He's off round the charity shops tomorrow and also likes the idea of ringing companies who do ironing.
He sounds like a great chap, lots of good outdoorsy experience. Depending where he's going to uni, he may be able to find something at an adventure park or after school club- or something like indoor crazy golf or pubs with soft play.
But ultimately you need that till experience. In bar work or waitressing or retail, they don't want to know if there's no till experience.
Omit he's a student, get some till experience- and I can assure you, he'll get a job.
TAD you hve a point. He had one interview where he'd be perfect but they said they wanted someone more permanent.
He has a qualification to be a workplace first aider, an enhanced CRB as he helped with his old scout pack while doing his D of E awards (has applied to playschemes etc - no luck). No work experience though.
No wonder no one wants to hire him if you haven't been omitting it?!
Why would they want to hire someone for 4 months when they could give a job to someone who isn't going to leave?
Nah, you just put on your notice that you've got a new job with more scope for advancement, whatever, lie. As long as he's worked hard they won't give him a bad reference.
TAD - your post was nothing but helpful
FWIW I worked from 16 in a Saturday job and in holidays too. I think it's good to do.
What experience does he have LFTM?
DS worked in a charity shop, he got experience on the till, with customer service (you get some very odd customers in charity shops sometimes), evaluating, grading and sorting contributions and window-dressing.
Hadn't even occurred to either of us to omit to tell a prospective employer about uni plans. Wouldn't that scupper his chances of getting a decent reference from that employer if he needed one?
Sorry that post sounded a bit 'look how amazing and hardworking I am'
I didn't mean to sound like that, I wish your son the best of luck, it's just a bit late in the day. Hopefully if he can do some work experience unpaid this summer (maybe he could work for his allowance this way?) he'll have a better chance finding a part time job at university and next summer
I wouldn't need to pretend to be him TAD - he can do his own
Here, it's a case of no one's hiring rather than his lack of experience. I can see how volunteering in a charity shop would help for retail experience, though.
My ds1 almost 22 has been working since he was 16 and supporting himself through A levels and Uni, jobs were hard to find then as well. My ds2 walked straight into a job after I had spent 2 hours telling him how he had wasted his chances after leaving before the end of his A levels. He found a job within an hour.
If you tell employers you only want temporary work, you won't get a job. It may not be exactly what they want but there are jobs.
My DS1 has about 4 jobs, one is a zero contract with a Pizza delivery company, but he earns a lot at weekend.
You need to stop looking for 'summer jobs' and instead look for any job.
Businesses don't want people for the summer. They want them permanantly. Cast the net for 12-38 hour waiter, retail, bar jobs and just keep hush that he's going to uni. He can hand in his notice 2 weeks before freshers.
But tbh, it's too late now anyway. It's fine to be a bit cheeky and leave after 4 months- but won't he be off to uni in like 6 weeks?
If you want to help him, send an email pretending to be him to a charity shop asking to volunteer. If he does that twice a week until he does to uni he should have enough till experience to apply to any retail job and get it as long as he's good in the interview.
I'm 20, a student and have had a paid job since I was 13 and never been out of work when I wanted to move around for better pay or benefits. I'm at home in the holidays now working the same hour week as mum and dad. Relying on mummy and daddy's allowance for your meals out with mates and clubbing past the age of 16 is pure laziness if you live in a town with lots of opportunities. Different case for rural kids. So many volunteer opportunities to get that experience too if it's a case of 'can't get a job with no experience but can't get experience without a job'
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