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(51 Posts)
Beautifulbabyboy Sun 28-Jul-13 07:25:38

Quick help please from the early risers squad.
I am due to have DS2 on Thursday. DH starts new job basing him away from home from following Monday. (This can't be avoided - he is gutted). DM agreed to be his stand in, and take over looking after me, DS1 and newborn, for best part of 6 weeks. All great. :-))

Now, months ago, DS and her Husband planned to have family holiday in London so to be close to us when DS2 is born, see baby etc. They have 2 kids of their own, aged 4 and 2. But now BIL says he can't take 10 days off (is boss of v successful company - has had 2 weeks off for holidays with mates this year). So now this is the plan:

DM (aged mid 60s) is coming on train with DS and my nephews, day before c section, Wednesday, they are then going to stay in hotel together. I have c section on Thursday, DS can't visit as there is no one to look after kids, except for max of 10 mins. On Friday, BIL is coming to London for business meeting (he has chosen this date), so Friday morning DS is going to accompany him, and DM can't come to hospital as she is baby sitting the kids. Friday afternoon we had designated in laws and for DS1 to meet new baby. Saturday, BIL goes home leaving DS in London with 2 kids and my DM being there as back up. On Sunday night, DM comes to mine to be sudo hubby. DS then wanted to come to our village on the Tuesday and hang out all kids together and my DM, 5 days after c section....

I appreciate this is complicated, feel free to give up, but I guess AIBU that I just wanted my mum to have no distractions week I gave birth, and also for her to be fresh for when she is going to be stand in for my Dh. There is no way she will have the energy to help with my DS's kids and then us.

Plus I am being told I am being unreasonable by all involved and all this is so DS can see the baby. But she will only see him for 10 mins on the Thursday, and for the remaining time she is choosing a business meeting (she doesn't have to go - if I told you why she was going it would be a big red flag) and otherwise will have her kids to mind.

Didn't want my DM to be pulled in different directions, 2 daughters during this week. DS always has a habit if needing my DM, and her needs taking precedence, e.g on family holidays (mainly because BIL chooses to be stare at his blackberry instead). Also early in year, DS got upset at thought of having to share DM with me as quote "I see you as my mum only".

Please don't flame me if IABU, have moved house, having baby, dH starting new job all in same 4 weeks, so feeling quite stressed...

Vivacia Sun 28-Jul-13 22:11:08

I agree, start protecting yourself from their comments and the disappointments. Tell them they were right, you meditated and now realise how selfish you were being. You hope they enjoy the sumer and that they'll be able to visit in September.

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